


what if this storm ends?

by roommate



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Minor Character Death, Semi-Public Sex, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-01
Updated: 2014-09-01
Packaged: 2018-02-15 16:04:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 42,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2235057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roommate/pseuds/roommate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes you need to be a child again to have the courage to take a few necessary risks that can make being an adult so much easier. (<b>Warnings:</b> semi-public sex, mentions of unwanted pregnancy, minor character death/car accident | Written for severalstories for <a href="http://chinguline.livejournal.com/14840.html">chinguline 2014</a>)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [theafterimages (severalstories)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/severalstories/gifts).



In the small window of opportunity between the entire office celebrating bagging the Agency of the Year award for the third straight year and Joonmyun getting drunk as fuck, Kyungsoo tenders his resignation.

It's not a spur-of-the-moment idea. The thought has been brewing in his mind for a while already, for the past two years that he's spent building, deconstructing, and rebuilding the organizational structure of the digital team, fixing the process for production, pacifying clients left and right. The letter has been sitting in his local drive for the past three months, untouched and unedited from when he'd first written it, and only now — legs crossed on the floor as they take two shots of tequila, Joonmyun slumped against him, mumbling, "I have a meeting at nine-fucking-a.m." — does he feel that there's no perfect time but now. So he drops the bomb after pointedly telling Jongin that no, he's not taking another shot, grips Joonmyun by the wrist to get his attention and weasel the last bit of soberness out of him.

"I'm going to resign, Joonmyun."

Joonmyun snorts, chuckles, asks Jongin for another shot. His eyes are wide open but his lips are poised in a manner that tells Kyungsoo that Joonmyun's still halfway out the door, toeing the line between clearheadedness and inebriation. "Sure, you are. You've been planning to do that for a while already but you never pushed through with it—"

"Joonmyun," Kyungsoo says, louder this time. He tightens his grip on Joonmyun's wrist, takes Joonmyun's other hand. The press of their hands is warm, hot. Prickly. "I'm going to resign."

Joonmyun takes another shot and takes a deep breath before turning back to him. "You're going to resign."

So Wednesday afternoon sees Kyungsoo in XOXO, Chanyeol's three-year-old daycare center that was a product of his release from the cruel agency life, clad in a white t-shirt and black jeans that Chanyeol often mistakes for Kyungsoo's favorite track pants. He hasn't worn the blazer in his car in a while, not since he's finally handed in his clearance documents and taken all of his belongings with him, and Chanyeol has finally stopped calling him an 'office guy'. That doesn't stop Chanyeol from making him narrate the resignation story, though, demanding all of Kyungsoo's attention and saying, five minutes before the next play activity starts, "Come on, one more time!"

"Hyung," comes Sehun, firm and resolute, from a few feet away. He's got two little girls in his arms, their tiny hands balled into fists in his hair. He isn't wincing, but there's defeat in the way he furrows his eyebrows. Kyungsoo smiles a little and nudges Chanyeol, snaps him out of his reverie. "I'm calling in my favor. Get one of them off of me."

"But little Sehunnie looks so cute with all the girls—" Chanyeol cranes his neck and cackles. "—with all the girls yanking his hair—"

Sehun exhales loudly, the small smile on his lips thinning into something less cheerful. "Hyung, _please—_ "

Chanyeol rolls his eyes and slowly pushes himself away from the counter, walking to the other side to take one of the children draped on Sehun's shoulder. "You owe me, maknae. I expect no less than steak."

A smile resurfaces on Sehun's lips as soon as some of the weight is lifted from his shoulders, and he shoots Kyungsoo a quick, apologetic look before turning back to Chanyeol. "Not in the mood for steak. Samgyupsal?"

"Hey, I was kidding."

"I wasn't," Sehun replies. He tucks the girl's hair behind her ear and nuzzles her nose. "Kyungsoo-hyung, you in?"

Kyungsoo has his lips poised for a response when one of the children inside starts crying and Zitao starts calling for help, the _I need someone here_ dripping from his lips growing heavier with panic with each repetition. "It's time for Superman!" Chanyeol says, more to convince himself that everything will be alright than to humor the little girl in his arms, and extends his free arm as he makes tiny jet sounds that make the girl giggle all the more.

"I'm in if you're paying!" Kyungsoo calls out before Sehun can disappear into a corner, and Sehun only waves in response, other hand busy with making sure that his kid isn't moving around too much.

The bell sounds off, marking the end of the period for the first afternoon session, and there's a collective noise of children being shuffled from one play area to another for a while. When the sound fades out, Kyungsoo returns to the other side of the counter, sinks back in his seat and fishes his phone from his pocket, exhaling loudly. It would probably be nice to be a kid again, to not have to worry about anything and everything and just enjoy everything that life has to offer. He'd been trained to grow up at such an early age, and maybe now, thirty-two and jobless and far from penniless, he can afford to be a child again — but only a little.

"Uh, excuse me. I need to leave my kid here—"

Kyungsoo looks up tentatively before sitting up straight, and he quickly slips into his practiced smile, one he has perfected after years of dealing with clients on a daily basis. The man on the other side of the counter smiles, albeit a bit awkward at the corners, and rocks the baby in his arms lightly. "Just a few hours. I don't know. I have a pitch and I just can't bring her there and—"

He gulps hard and peeks inside, trying to see if anyone from the staff can attend to the client more properly, but Chanyeol has already disappeared and Sehun and Zitao have their hands full with their own kids. Jonghyun had to leave before the start of the afternoon session, and Jinki has already started his afternoon class in the learning area according to the schedule. Taking a deep breath, he opens the log sheet to a new page, hands the man a pen, and tries to recall the standard procedure Chanyeol usually carries out when dealing with clients. "Ah, sure. I'll just need your name and your contact number here," he says, pointing at the blanks that need to be filled out as he gives instructions. "And his name, too."

"Her," the man corrects. "She's a girl."

"Right." Kyungsoo taps the heading for the information of the child and continues, "Right here. You just have to write down her name here—"

The man quickly grabs the pen and starts scribbling characters on the page, and Kyungsoo keeps his best smile on.

And then a small sob escapes the baby's lips, the slightest hint of discomfort in the way her voice peaks, then cracks, gradually growing louder as she cries even more. "Oh shit—" the man says, _croaks_ , and the once empty look in his eyes leaves just as soon as panic surfaces on his features. He drops the pen, turns the baby around, tries his best to smile as he cradles her in his arms. "Hey, hey, _hey,_ " the man whispers, each repetition more breathy than the other, and Kyungsoo can only gulp hard as he watches the scene unfold before him — a baby crying, a man trying his best to pacify her, her father hapless and hopeless as he draws her closer to his chest in an attempt to calm her down.

He worries his bottom lip for a while and, with a deep breath, walks over to the other side of the counter.

Years in media have taught him that the impossible is only possible when no one does nothing, so he clasps a hand on the father's shoulder, breath hitching when the man almost jumps and looks at him with watery eyes. He keeps a steady smile on his lips, though, albeit tight-lipped, and leans closer when the baby looks up. Her face feels warm against the back of his hand but he presses on, wiping her tears away with his thumb. "Hey, don't worry. _Appa_ will come back for you," he says in a voice he hasn't heard himself use in a long, long while. His throat feels dry and he can feel the roughness of his lips when he continues, "He just has to go to work, but he'll come back for you. So don't cry now, okay?"

"O-okay," the father replies, voice almost dropping to a whisper. Kyungsoo offers him a smile, too, then takes the baby from his arms. "I'll come back for her," the father rushes. "I promise I will."

The baby balls her fists in Kyungsoo's hair and tugs at the clump a little. The sobbing has died down considerably. He tries hard not to wince when she tugs harder the second time around.

It takes the father no more than five minutes to accomplish the form, and he gives the baby a kiss on the forehead before he leaves. "Thank you," he whispers to Kyungsoo, then bows a little and, before Kyungsoo can even choke up a reply, the man has already driven off in his fancy car, back into Seoul's much kinder traffic in the afternoon.

Kyungsoo looks at the baby in his arms, looks at her name on the information sheet, and smiles a little. "Soohyun, huh?" he hums, then laughs when he sees his reflection in the mirror — hair ruffled, face smushed between a baby's small hands. Grinning from ear to ear, not a trace of fatigue in his eyes. The most alive he has been in a long, long while.

☂

"Wake up, kid."

Kyungsoo counts to three before unfolding his arms, pushing his torso up from being rested on his thighs as he uncurls. It takes a while to register Chanyeol's voice, lethargy still pulling at his eyelids, so he doesn't bite back when Chanyeol grabs him by the shoulders and shakes him. "Is the baby still here?" he asks once he finds his voice again, and Chanyeol shakes his head in response.

"Are you sure you're not making him up? I mean the dad?" Chanyeol teases, quickly moving away when Kyungsoo begins to move his arms. "Kidding. What time did he say he'd be back?"

Kyungsoo shrugs. "He just said he'd be back. He has the daycare's number, though."

He stands from his seat, one hand mapping his path on the wall as he presses his palm against it for balance. Soohyun is still in her stroller, chewing on air, and giggling at nothing in particular. Her fingers are splayed on her tummy and she squeezes her own stomach a few times before letting out soft laughter. Kyungsoo smiles for a while before sifting through the pages of the log book. He runs a finger down the names listed, stops on an entry for _Byun Baekhyun_ written in almost illegible characters.

"Are you gonna save this one again?" Chanyeol asks after a while, crouching so that he's at eye level with Soohyun. The dim lighting in the daycare adds shadows to Chanyeol's worsening eyebags, but it softens the sharp angle of his cheeks, the lines of age at the corners of his eyes. Thirty-three and the owner of his very own daycare center, Chanyeol barely gets any rest, but he always says he feels so much younger than when he'd still been working in an agency, slaving over scripts that always make it to television screens.

_You have thing for lost causes,_ Chanyeol had said then, eyes tightly shut as he received his second antibiotic shot of the day through IV. Working hard shouldn't be rewarded with getting sick, and yet— _Saving people — you really like that, don't you?_ Chanyeol reached out, feeling around for Kyungsoo's hand, and Kyungsoo moved closer. Their hands were a perfect fit, warm against the cool white hospital bedding. Somehow, that's how things have always been between them — Chanyeol veering off his path, Kyungsoo guiding him back to where he should be, Chanyeol toeing the line between good and bad and something excessive, and Kyungsoo scampering to his feet to make sure Chanyeol doesn't do anything stupid.

_Only stupid people like you,_ Kyungsoo had replied, and Chanyeol snorted. Kyungsoo pulled away and stayed the night in the hospital, and then a couple more days and nights until Chanyeol no longer looked like a zombie trying to breathe life back into himself with lopsided grins.

Kyungsoo walks over to where Soohyun is now, wrapping his fingers around the handle and tilting his head to get a better view of her. "I wouldn't mind," he answers after a while. He hasn't had much experience in taking care of children, but working in media molds you into someone who feels the need to 'make things happen' all the time, at the expense of your sanity. Kyungsoo hasn't quite outgrown that habit yet. It's a skin that he has grown into already, and it's not easy to slip out of it so soon. Luckily Soohyun isn't as annoying as most clients he's serviced in the past. Luckily she's cute and cuddly; unfortunately for Kyungsoo, he's weak to anything and everything cute.

The doors of XOXO crack open just a little. It's futile to try to be subtle when all the walls and the corners are made of glass but Kyungsoo humors the newcomer, nonetheless, raises both of his eyebrows. "Oh, so he's actually real," Chanyeol says, snapping his spine straight and putting his best smile on. Chanyeol hasn't lost his touch yet, old media practice that turns you from a rowdy teenager into a sparkling young professional in a bat of an eyelash. "Good evening, sir. Here to pick up your child?"

Baekhyun looks at Chanyeol, smiles in reply, then turns to address Kyungsoo with a nod. "I'm sorry I couldn't be here sooner. The clients were asses and the pitch was extended and traffic's a bitch during rush hour—"

"It's fine. It's our job to be your kid's temporary parents while you're away," Chanyeol assures, then assumes his place on the other side of the counter. He's got the information sheet for the baby ready, the log book opened at the page where Baekhyun had written his number earlier, and Kyungsoo walks closer to the counter as if coaxing Bakehyun to do the same. "You made it in time — we close at 7:30."

"Well, it's thirty-five right now," Baekhyun replies.

Baekhyun grips the handle of the stroller and Kyungsoo lets his hand fall to his side. Soohyun's less that an arm's length away, but her father is here now. There's no excuse for Kyungsoo to stick closer than the usual, or coo at her and to nuzzle her tiny feet. "You're just lucky," he teases, lips moving quicker than his brain could have him press them thinly together, and Baekhyun widens his eyes at him, cackles, laughs.

"Yeah, I probably am," Baekhyun admits after a while. He shakes his head then twists his torso, turning to face Kyungsoo. "And thank you for the save. I… wasn't able to thank you properly earlier, sorry."

It takes a few seconds for Kyungsoo to register the hand on his shoulder, the warm press of Baekhyun's palm on his plain shirt. He gets this a lot — a pat or a slap on the arm, a hand squeezing his shoulder, non-committal hand-holding when he manages to save someone's sorry ass and make things right — but he hasn't had the chance to deal with people like Baekhyun just yet. Business troubles, he can definitely take care of; parenting issues? Not so much. Still, he warms up to it, the same way he had when Chanyeol grabbed him by the shoulders the day they met. "It's okay. She's cute," he says, for lack of anything else to say, and he earns laughter from Baekhyun again, brighter this time.

Baekhyun clasps a hand on his mouth not too long after, then checks on Soohyun. "Even when she cries?"

Kyungsoo snorts. "Especially when she cries."

"You have a very weird definition of 'cute', then, mister—?"

Baekhyun's gaze travels a bit south, like he's looking for a name tag of sorts, and Kyungsoo rubs the tip of his nose in an attempt to cover his chest a little. "Kyungsoo. Do Kyungsoo. Just Kyungsoo is fine, though."

"Byun Baekhyun. And no formalities, please. My minions don't even call me _sir_ or anything," Baekhyun then says, extending a hand in Kyungsoo's direction. He laughs a little, possibly the third or fourth time since he's returned from work. It makes staring at Baekhyun's outstretched hand feel a bit silly. "Although you probably picked up my name just by reading the information sheet."

Baekhyun's hand is warm in Kyungsoo's own, and the fit feels nice, like a blazer tailored to make Kyungsoo's shoulders seem wider than what they really are. A quick chat while Chanyeol processes Baekhyun's transaction and endless thanks to Chanyeol and Kyungsoo after, and Baekhyun's off, closing the glass door behind him. It takes no more than a split second for him to open the door again, though, no more than a second for him to return and say, "I'll be back!" and Kyungsoo only nods in response.

"Looks like you've just won a pitch," Chanyeol says, winking, before slipping into the play area to do his last round of checks. Kyungsoo shakes his head and laughs at himself. He doesn't even work here.

☂

It's another weekday afternoon when Kyungsoo sees Baekhyun, clad in an oversized polo, this time, that makes him look like 70% high school student trying to be an adult and 30% just struggling with something to wear. His hair is neatly combed, the way it had been when Baekhyun came over to pick up Soohyun, not when they first met, and he looks meeting-ready despite the weird fashion. Kyungsoo isn't quite sure if the child in his arms is supposed to make him look older or younger than he should be, but the pink bag Baekhyun's carrying on the shoulder Soohyun isn't pounding on with her first definitely softens the office look.

"You again," Baekhyun says, smiling. Without panic wrapping around his voice, it actually sounds as if he's singing. _Pop,_ a voice at the back of Kyungsoo's mind says, and he only shrugs the thought away. Baekhyun hoists Soohyun a little, and out comes a hint of Soohyun's laughter. Her eyes are still a bit half-mast but she's giggling. Kyungsoo's lips twitch involuntarily.

"You again," Kyungsoo repeats. He looks around, and he sees Chanyeol busy with a couple of kids a few meters away. He takes the log book and Soohyun's information sheet, scribbling the date today under the logs.

Baekhyun moves closer, taking the pen in his free hand. "I did say I'm coming back, didn't I?"

_Not on my watch,_ Kyungsoo wants to say, but Baekhyun doesn't have to know he doesn't work here even if him being an an outfit completely different from what the others are wearing is a complete giveaway. He hasn't quite made a habit of covering for missing employees just yet, hasn't jumped in to salvage a Zitao trying to stay calm despite three children crying in front of him or a Sehun whose cheeks have already gone too red and numb after having a two-year-old smush them longer than he should. The most he's done is to take calls and reservations and keep Chanyeol sane whenever the 'problematic kid' comes in — his favorite among the bunch, even if Chanyeol constantly reiterates that _No, that kid actually gives me a headache every single time. And I'm not crying. I'm just sweating through my eyes, I swear. I'm not sad because he won't be coming in for the next few days._

"She looks happier now," Kyungsoo says, completely ignoring Baekhyun's statement. "Less tired and stressed." He gulps hard, feeling the tension in his jaw ease a little. He hasn't had much opportunity to converse outside of reservation-related matters, only occasionally aimed a snide comment at Sehun or snorted at Zitao's panicking, and Chanyeol has always been around to fill his loud silences somehow. "How old is she?"

Baekhyun leans back for a while, giving Soohyun a long look before pressing a soft kiss on her nose when she coos at him. "We're doing better now. Bonded over papers and staple wires at the office. What fun!" Baekhyun answers, and Kyungsoo doesn't know what to make of the grin on Baekhyun's lips and the rolling of the eyes that goes with it. Baekhyun giggles, though, when Soohyun reaches up and tickles the underside of his jaw, and the slight furrow of his eyebrows eases. "I guess you're only interested in the man paying for the babysitting service, huh? And I thought you actually cared about the kid—"

Kyungsoo taps at the blank space for the birth date and smirks. "And you're only interested in running away the first chance you can."

Baekhyun's features quickly change, the look Kyungsoo had first seen surfacing on the plane of his cheeks, the dark circles under his eyes. He scribbles Soohyun's birthday the fastest he can, taps the pen on the sheet as soon as he's done. "I'll try to be back by 7," Baekhyun then says, voice dropping low, then plants a kiss on Soohyun's forehead before handing her over to Kyungsoo.

Baekhyun zips up the pink bag and places it in the compartment under the seat, then moves the stroller closer to the counter. "We close at 7:30," Kyungsoo calls out once Baekhyun reaches the door, one foot halfway out, and Baekhyun looks over his shoulder this time to meet him in the eye.

"7:35," Baekhyun says, gaze lingering before he pushes the door even wider. "XOXO closes at 7:35."

There's a small smile at the corners of his lips, lifting the rest of his features. In the afternoon sunshine, Baekhyun looks a bit too young for this, looks like a father still trying to digest the entire situation — having a kid, having to leave her at a daycare so he can earn enough money for the two of them (maybe even more) — but it's only been twenty-four hours since Kyungsoo has met him. Kyungsoo knows better than to judge people. Media has taught him to gather all pertinent information before making a move, so he pushes the weird thoughts to the back of his head where only the voices that haunt him can hear.

☂

Baekhyun returns from wherever with two boxes of doughnuts in one hand and two cups of coffee in the other. "I won't put this in her milk," he assures Kyungsoo when Kyungsoo furrow his eyebrows, and Baekhyun takes both cups from the carrier, handing one to Kyungsoo then collapsing the carrier before throwing it into the trash can. "It's the least I could do for that, uh, scare the other day. And for being late last night."

"And today," Kyungsoo adds, finding courage after the first whiff of the coffee. Baekhyun widens his eyes just a little, letting the rest of surprise show in the quirk of his mouth. "And we've seen worse, I guess," he goes on to say. He fishes for Soohyun's information sheet and opens the log book, stopping when he sees the page with Baekhyun's name on it. "So really, it's fine. You could say it's part of our job."

"Pacifying crying parents?" Baekhyun asks as he writes down the time, then signs on the space beside it. He hands his card to Kyungsoo and Kyungsoo stares at it for a while.

"Making sure parents don't drop their babies while they cry," Kyungsoo answers. He runs a thumb along the numbers of the card, then confesses, "Please excuse me. I'll have to get Chanyeol for this."

He prepares to leave the counter to seek Chanyeol's help, shuts the log book and slipping the information sheet in one of the folders, but Baekhyun pins him in place, his gaze sharp, focused. The corners of his lips are curled up, like there's something amusing about Kyungsoo putting things back where they belong or not knowing how to process a credit card transaction, but Baekhyun can be staring at anything — the whiteboard just beyond his shoulder, the schedule written on it, the splash of colors on the wall. Still, Kyungsoo feels his fingers grow cold. He wraps one hand around the cup of coffee, seeking warmth.

"I don't have to pay extra if I want to stay here for a while, do I?" Baekhyun asks now. His arms are crossed, rested on the handle of the stroller, and Soohyun's looking up at him and smiling that boxy smile of hers. "When I get back home, I'll have to work again and Soohyun probably won't like that."

Kyungsoo plays with the card in his hand for a while, then looks down at the cup. There's a smiley face doodled on it — Baekhyun must be friends with the barista. He does seem the type to hit it off with people who make his coffee. "You're not sure?"

"I'm sure," Baekhyun answers. He scrunches his nose, rubs the tip. He exhales loudly. "Maybe."

"We only charge for having kids stay over," Kyungsoo says. "And as far as I know, you're not a kid."

Baekhyun's eyes light up, and the small smile on his lips tugs on the corners even more, blooming into a grin. He has the same smile as Soohyun's, all sharp corners instead of the smooth edges of Chanyeol's smile that Kyungsoo has gotten used to, the hint of Baekhyun's gums peeking from the corners of his mouth. He has the same twinkle in the eyes as she does. Maybe Byun Baekhyun _is_ a bit of a kid, even if it's his card that Kyungsoo will be swiping in the machine in a while, once he figures things out. "Awesome," Baekhyun replies, then plops down on the seat beside the stroller, humming when he leans in to kiss the tip of Soohyun's nose.

Kyungsoo looks at the credit card in his hand, then at the corridor ahead. There's light at the end of the path. He takes a step forward, and another, and another, until Baekhyun's humming fades out and there's nothing he can hear but his heavy breathing.

When he looks over his shoulder, he catches Baekhyun smushing his own face. Soohyun giggles. He snorts in lieu of laughter and knocks on Chanyeol's door. There's work to be done.

☂

"You really like that kid, don't you?"

Kyungsoo looks up from his phone, locking the screen before he can see Soohyun's picture from the corner of his eye again. He'd snapped a picture earlier, when Soohyun was flailing her short arms around and Baekhyun was much too caught up in cooing at her to even think of documenting the moment. "She's really cute," he replies after a while, running his thumb along the home button of his phone. He contemplates on unlocking it for a moment, but quickly remembers the No Phones Policy Chanyeol implements during meals. He lays it face down on the table, then, and meets Chanyeol in the eye. "Chubby cheeks, big eyes… She seems to think I'm cute, too."

Chanyeol chokes on his kimchi, eyes going wide as he hits his chest repeatedly. "Well, she smushed my cheeks. And Sehunnie's, before she punched him in the face."

Kyungsoo snorts. "She smushes mine the most, which means she thinks I'm the cutest." He smiles a little when Chanyeol rolls his eyes at him. "She loves me."

"It's only her second day. She can't possibly be in love with grumpy grandpa Soo."

"Shut up. You're just jealous."

Chanyeol squints for a while as he worries his bottom lip. "Maybe," he mumbles, then adds, "I'm your boss. You can't talk to me like that."

"I don't even work for you."

"Maybe you should!" Chanyeol replies, bumping his shoulder into Kyungsoo's. "The kid was _gurgling_ at you. You've got a baby tamer charm or something. Must be the eyes."

"Or because I'm not you, who scares kids shitless 90% of the time," Kyungsoo retorts, putting all of his weight on his left arm as he digs into Chanyeol's side.

Kyungsoo has known Chanyeol practically half of his life. They met back in highschool, during a club meeting, and back then Chanyeol wasn't 70% legs and 30% everything else yet. Chanyeol was meek, shy, unbearably quiet as he surveyed his surroundings. Only after the third meeting did he choke up the courage to greet Kyungsoo, ask him, _this is the meeting for the school paper, right?_ , sit next to Kyungsoo when Kyungsoo nodded and offered a small smile in response. Kyungsoo remembers being tempted to say, _no, this is the meeting for the drama club,_ but Chanyeol had looked so lost then, so worn out by classes and homeworks and a backpack that pulled his shoulders down. It isn't a sin to be nice. It just doesn't make him seem as a strong as he wants himself to be perceived.

"I don't scare them. They just can't handle my _tantalizing eyes—_ "

"Oh, stop it."

Chanyeol's halfway through enveloping him in a bone-rushing hug when Joonmyun and Jongin arrive, all big smiles and waves. Kyungsoo looks at Chanyeol for a while, eyebrows furrowed in question — _you invited them?_ "Figured you missed them even if you didn't say it," Chanyeol reasons out just before the two step inside the restaurant. "You never say anything. I always have to decode your language of punches and smirks."

Kyungsoo punches Chanyeol lightly in his side, then twists his fist as he whispers, "Thanks."

Joonmyun and Jongin have always been generous with hugs, even back in the agency and despite their heavy workload, but tonight their hugs linger longer than the usual, with Joonmyun squeezing Kyungsoo's arm before letting go. "Well-rested," Joonmyun says, more of a statement than a question, and Kyungsoo simply smiles and shakes his head before gesturing for them to take a seat.

Joonmyun then calls for a waiter, adds a couple of dishes to their order, and Jongin orders a bottle of soju despite Joonmyun's tight grip around his wrist. "It's been a while, hyung," Jongin reasons out, and Joonmyun loosens his grip considerably before turning to Kyungsoo.

"Chanyeollie said someone else was joining us. A friend, I think? A client of yours in the daycare?"

"He's not a client," Kyungsoo replies, sighing. The side dishes arrive, and he busies himself with arranging the tiny plates in short, neat lines. "And I don't work there."

"You should've seen him handle the kids," Chanyeol says. Joonmyun smiles a little. "It was cute."

Kyungsoo's phone gives off a short beep and Chanyeol looks at him for a while before getting back into discussion with Joonmyun. Two notifications, five text messages — one from Sehun, saying that he's craving ice cream so can they just have ice cream tomorrow instead of samgyupsal, _pretty please?_ , and the other from Baekhyun, one that says, _hi! this is soohyun's dad, kekeke. what time's ur shift tomorrow? (o⌒．⌒o)_

_byun baekhyun, in case ur not looking at d records ryt now_   
_rly just making sure u remember because uknow, too many ppl coming in everyday (/ω＼)_

He laughs a little, quickly swallowing the sound as he gulps hard. In the thirty minutes that Baekhyun had spent in the daycare, past closing time and Soohyun's supposed sleeping schedule, he'd learned quite a few things about Baekhyun — his voice peaks when he gets excited, even more when Soohyun makes gurgling sounds at him. He talks in fifty feet of run-on sentences. He loves the sound of his voice and hates silence, filling all the gaps with hiccuped laughter. Nuzzling Soohyun's nose has almost become second nature, evident in the way he leans in to make their noses bump midway through a conversation with Kyungsoo about knowing the right consistency for baby milk. He's noticed that Kyungsoo doesn't wear a name tag unlike the other employees. "Are you the boss?" Baekhyun had asked somewhere along the way, and Chanyeol had only snorted as he filed all the folders in the caddy.

_why?_ he quickly types, then locks his phone again. When he surfaces, he meets Joonmyun's gaze, heavy and evaluating.

"What?"

"Your jjigae's getting cold," Jongin points out. He reaches over, grabbing the pot by his index finger and thumb, and draws it closer to them. "I'm eating this if you aren't."

"Hey," Kyungsoo retorts, clashing his chopsticks against Jongin's own. His phone beeps once, twice, and then another, and Chanyeol grins up at him before taking a sip of the stew. To Chanyeol, Kyungsoo says, " _Hey._ "

Kyungsoo notices Joonmyun's gaze flitting from him to Chanyeol and back, and the careful gaze flickers to turn into something more practiced, _neutral._ Joonmyun then narrates his day and Jongin planning to take up his graduate studies a year from now, the company potentially being crippled at the loss of Jongin and everyone missing Kyungsoo back at work.

"And they want you back," Joonmyun says, looking straight at Kyungsoo after taking a shot of soju. Chanyeol tosses a few pieces of kimchi into the grill and pokes at them until the slits leave faint marks. "I know you're not planning to return, ever, but… I dunno, I'm still hoping—" He slaps Jongin's hand when Jongin pours him another shot and presses the glass against the back of Joonmyun's hand. "—because things haven't been the same ever since you left."

Kyungsoo laughs a little. "It's only been a week."

"A week without Do Kyungsoo to spearhead digital projects and squeeze the last bit of creativity out of his team," Chanyeol adds. He leans on Kyungsoo's shoulder, the fit seeming a bit uncomfortable when Chanyeol shifts in his position a little. Chanyeol places a big hand over Kyungsoo's smaller one — this is a better fit. "Well, sorry, but he's mine now. You can't take him away."

There's a smile on Joonmyun's lips that Kyungsoo doesn't want to breathe meaning into. Instead, he sticks his tongue out at Joonmyun and keeps his hand there, beneath Chanyeol's warmth, Chanyeol's fingers slotted between his own.

Jongin broaches the subject of resigning to pursue his masters degree in a different country and Joonmyun sinks in his seat, resigned and relenting. Chanyeol laughs at Joonmyun's attempts at trying to convince Jongin to hold out a little longer, until his team is more stable, or at least unit he finds time for a second exhibit. "You'd have built an even better portfolio by then," Joonmyun even says. Kyungsoo lays his free hand on top of his phone and drums his fingers on the surface, setting the pace to his steady heartbeat. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad working in a daycare, working alongside Chanyeol and Sehun and Zitao, holding children in his arms or playing with them on a daily basis. There's no harm in trying, after all, and if it made Chanyeol regress in age, then a baby's warm and gentle touch might only mean something good.

He takes a deep breath and flexes his fingers, then hooks them on Chanyeol's own. If he's going to try something new then he might as well drag the person who convinced him to do it along with him. Chanyeol only shoots him a brief glance before laughing at one of Jongin's stories about Joonmyun and keeps their fingers linked under the table until Kyungsoo has to pull away to reach for a water pitcher, hand too warm around the pitcher's cool surface.

☂

Kyungsoo pulls up at a red light and unlocks his phone, suddenly remembering to ask when Jongin's exhibit is. He'd promised to come with Joonmyun, but forgot to ask for the details in the flurry of conversations and laughter. _when do i have to free up my sked for you huh?_ he means to text Jongin, but four unread messages from Baekhyun greet him as soon as the lock screen disappears.

_well so far ur the only 1 soohyun hasn't punched_   
_she tends 2 hit ppl in d face wen they try 2 carry her?? (╯_╰)_   
_so wat tym wil u b around to play wid my kid hmmm?_

_kyungsoo? (⊙︿⊙)_

_Maybe,_ he thinks, then looks up at the stop counter — fifteen seconds left.

_whole day. same time,_ he types rather hastily, deletes, then types again, adding _c:_ at the end. He hits 'send' as soon as he's done and lays his phone down on the empty seat beside him, face down, and ignores the three messages that come in in succession.

He takes a deep breath and smiles a little. The light turns green.

☂

"So I made a name tag for you," Chanyeol begins, then pins it on Kyungsoo's chest like a badge. "Just in case, y'know, you decide to work here for real. Permanently, I mean, but I'd understand if—"

"Chanyeol," is all that Kyungsoo says as he watches Chanyeol fix the tag on his shirt, one hand on his chest as the other works on straightening the tag. He'd mentioned wanting to try out taking a job at the daycare just to see how things would unfold, and Chanyeol had nodded at him, movements fast and sharp that Kyungsoo reached up to cup Chanyeol's nape — a safety precaution to keep him from straining his neck even further. _"Don't get your hopes up, I'm just gonna give it a shot,"_ he'd said then, but Chanyeol kept the same big grin on his lips and snaked an arm around his shoulder to pull him close for a choking hug.

Chanyeol's fingers are cold. His touch stings through the thin material of Kyungsoo's shirt. Kyungsoo puffs out tiny balls of air and says, "I can do that on my own."

Chanyeol presses on, though, and he leans back once he's done to take a gander at his work, fingers dancing on Kyungsoo's chest as he lets his hands slide down to rest on Kyungsoo's waist. "Better," Chanyeol says, soft enough for only the two of them to hear.

"Orange shirt?" Sehun asks, then cackles, and Kyungsoo affirms with a kick to Sehun's calf, applying just enough pressure to make Sehun remember to never question the existence of colored clothes in his closet ever again. "What's next, Kyungsoo-hyung in a jumper?"

Zitao pulls Sehun away from the scene just in time for Kyungsoo to kick Sehun in the calf one more time, grumbling when he narrowly misses. A couple of customers come in, and Chanyeol greets them, sunshine smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

The last time he had 'first day jitters' was five years ago, when he moved from Mindshare to Masscom in a decision that took more than a year to actualize. He likes that, planning things out carefully, running through each step of the plan in his mind again and again until he gets sick of his own voice. He likes a spontaneous adventure, too, and this — starting from scratch and attempting something he has never done before, doing something he isn't completely clueless but doesn't know much about — is exactly what he needs.

Chanyeol is as good with children as he is with people, Kyungsoo notices later, during the formal play sessions. It shows in the way one of the little girls walks up to him and reaches for his hand, or the way one of the younger boys sits on his feet and refuses to get up until Chanyeol picks him up. He ends up with a both kids in his arms, precarious, but unwavering in the song he sings to the two even as they grab his hair and yank at it playfully.

The child in Kyungsoo's arms giggles a little and plants a soft kiss on his chin. Chanyeol furrows his eyebrows when their eyes meet, but there's nothing but laughter and a smile on his lips. Kyungsoo grins when the child blows hot air on his chin, but it can also be the work of Chanyeol widening his eyes, gets himself cross-eyed, makes funny faces at him. He narrows his eyes when he feels his legs again, until Chanyeol breaks the eye contact and laughs into the crown of the girl's head.

They are kids as much as they are adults. No one ever grows up completely.

Lunch break sees the children leaving one by one, parents coming to pick up their kids and say their 'thank you's' to the staff. Chanyeol takes care of reporting to the parents, telling them about their children's milestone for the day or activities that their kids enjoyed, and Sehun processes transactions, a small smile on his lips as he engages in short chats with the outgoing clients. Zitao is still trying to free himself from a kid who has recently taken a liking to him, and Kyungsoo bends his knees to give the boy a pat on the head before whispering, "Tao-hyung isn't going anywhere, okay Jaehwan?" He ruffles Jaehwan's hair and offers a small smile. "You'll be back tomorrow, right?"

The boy looks up at him, then at Zitao. "Taotao-hyung, you won't leave, right?"

Zitao laughs a little, then crouches so he can take the kid in his arms and give him a hug. "Tao-hyung will _never_ leave."

"Then I'll come back!" the kid soon says, giggling into Zitao's neck as Zitao twirls him around for one last time.

Baekhyun waves just beyond the door, his other hand wound around the handle of the stroller. The crowd has thinned considerably, and Chanyeol has taken over processing transactions to give Sehun time to prepare for his next class. "You didn't answer my text so I didn't bring food," Baekhyun says once he's inside, then adjusts the collar of his polo. He's wearing plaid today, his shirt at least three sizes bigger than him. If Kyungsoo were his boss then he'd make Baekhyun come in at work in a white polo tomorrow, coupled with blue jeans. Presentability is everything at work, after all, and Baekhyun looks more like a kid than a father looking to leave his kid at a daycare center.

"I was busy with the kids, sorry," Kyungsoo replies. He tilts his head just slightly to get a glimpse of Soohyun's face — her eyes are shut but not as tight, and her cheeks are a light shade of pink. She looks so fragile like this, skin caught in the afternoon sun. She has a mole just above her upper lip. "You'll be back in the evening?"

"Yeah, meeting," Baekhyun replies. He locks his arms behind his back and cracks his neck. "Before closing time, I promise."

Kyungsoo shrugs, then bends a little, reaching over to where Soohyun is. "May I?" he asks before holding Soohyun to lift her, and Baekhyun nods, even laughs a little, like Kyungsoo asking if he can carry Baekhyun's baby is the silliest thing ever.

Soohyun's balled fists relax when Kyungsoo picks her up by the waist, and she holds out her arms as Kyungsoo raises her in the air. He brings her closer to his chest, and she makes this tiny, indiscernible noise that sounds more like a gurgle than a sound of protest. There's still a hint of sleep in her eyes, the way the lids shut close when Kyungsoo doesn't move, arms as steady as the ground. Kyungsoo presses his thumb lightly on a corner of her lips and lifts it a little; she chuckles.

"Jongdae did the same thing earlier and she cried at once," Baekhyun comments. He moves closer, pressing his hand on Soohyun's tummy, and he tickles her with the pads of his fingers. "At the very first touch."

Kyungsoo looks up, leaning back a little to see Baekhyun's face properly. His bangs fall over his eyes, but he can still make out the crinkles at the corners when Baekhyun's tight-lipped smile turns into a full one, toothy, a bit juvenile. "Well, at least she doesn't do that with you. That would be a problem," he says after a while, once Soohyun's giggling dies down a little, and Baekhyun keeps his hand there, rubbing Soohyun's tummy lightly.

"I'm still working on that. I'm not exactly the best dad," Baekhyun confesses. He bends his knees a little and leans closer to Soohyun to plant a kiss on her forehead. There's something in Baekhyun's voice, a peculiar tone beneath the cracks, when his voice lilts then dips a bit too abruptly. It makes Kyungsoo wince, but maybe that's just Soohyun shifting in his arms doing its work. "But I do try to be."

"She likes you enough to not hit you in the face," Kyungsoo replies. He cocks his head in Sehun's direction. "That co-worker of mine takes a punch to his cheeks every single day."

Baekhyun furrows his eyebrows. "A _real_ punch? I mean baby punches, like this?" He takes Soohyun's arms, gently holding them by the wrists and trying to imitate the action but falling short. Soohyun pops her lips, as if in a question, and Kyungsoo simply caresses Soohyun's cheek lightly as he chuckles. "Yeah, you get the picture. But really, he does?"

"He loves teasing the kids. Always ends up getting teased in return."

"Karma's a bitch," Baekhyun says, snorting. "Whoops. I keep forgetting this is a PG place. No room for people who curse a lot like me!"

Baekhyun leans in for another kiss, this time on Soohyun's cheek, before going through his last round of checks just to see if everything is in the bag in the stroller's compartment, and Kyungsoo holds Soohyun tight as he follows Baekhyun with his eyes. Baekhyun pours every ounce of his attention into making sure that everything Soohyun needs is where it should be like he's making up for something — bad memories, lost time, a stupid mistake? Kyungsoo can't exactly tell. He hasn't known Baekhyun for that long yet, hasn't seen all of his facets, so he keeps watching, observing, like if he tears his gaze from Baekhyun, he'll miss a tiny yet important detail that will soon make sense in the days to come.

Kyungsoo blinks a few times. It's not as if he'll be staying in the daycare for too long, or that Baekhyun will be coming over on a regular basis to make sure his child gets the love and care that she deserves. With a deep breath, he swallows the rest of his thoughts and bids Baekhyun goodbye, the promise of returning written on his smile, in the way Baekhyun flashes him a thumbs up, in the way Baekhyun glances at Soohyun for one last time before getting back in his car and driving off.

"Well, aren't you chatty?" comes Chanyeol's voice from behind, and Kyungsoo only peers at him from his bangs before pushing Soohyun's stroller forward, to the play area. He doesn't address the upward curl of the lip or Chanyeol's soft chuckles. Instead, he cradles Soohyun in his arms and hums a soft melody under his breath until Soohyun stops shifting and presses her palms on his cheeks, chuckling as she squeezes them lightly.

☂

"So, guess who's here early?"

Kyungsoo rubs an eye before looking over his shoulder. Outside, the lamp posts cast a dull glow on the passersby, and there's no longer the usual noise enveloping the daycare. Six in the evening usually sees a few more children in XOXO, rolling on the rubber mats or playing in the ball pit, but today the learning area has already been wiped clean and the play places are no longer occupied by kids. "You're early," Kyungsoo croaks, throat still tight with drowsiness. He repeats his statement when Baekhyun takes a few steps closer, cocking his head slightly. "I said, you're actually early."

"I got lucky," Baekhyun replies, then sits cross-legged on the floor. His knees bump into Kyungsoo's, and Kyungsoo winces at the surge of electricity up his thighs. Baekhyun apologizes by way of a light pat on the knee that only makes another sliver of electricity course through his veins, and Kyungsoo grabs his wrist, looks at him straight in the eye and shakes his head.

"Don't touch me."

Baekhyun frowns, bottom lip jutted out as he retracts his hand. "I get here early to pick up my kid and chat with you and you give me _this?_ "

_This_ is a roll of the eyes, a slap on the arm, an urge to kick Baekhyun in the calf or maybe pinch him in his sides. _This_ is a loud exhale and Kyungsoo looking around, searching for Soohyun's crib until he accidentally rams his toe into the its leg, craning his neck to check if Soohyun is still asleep and is far from rousing from it. He feels his shoulders relaxing along with his spine as he curls his back a little and slips into a more comfortable posture. The image of Soohyun's peaceful sleeping face is fresh in his eyes. "Well, congratulations," he simply replies after a while — polite, familiar but not quite — and lays his palm flat on Baekhyun's thigh. "You've made me proud."

Baekhyun cocks an eyebrow, maybe surprised or a little shocked, but the light quirk of the lip eases the knots in Kyungsoo's stomach. "Thanks," Baekhyun replies, then pushes himself off the mat to take Soohyun in his arms and cradle her.

There's silence for a while, disrupted only by the noise coming from the light chatter in the faculty lounge, fading out with every swing of the door. Baekhyun settles back down on the mat with him, more carefully this time, knees no longer banging into his when he tries to look for a comfortable spot. "Can't believe it's been two weeks," Baekhyun whispers, shaking his head lightly. His eyes are still on Soohyun, searching, discerning, like he's still trying to digest the entire situation and that, maybe, Soohyun might just be a doll — an eerily realistic-looking one. "Just two weeks. It feels like forever."

Kyungsoo worries his bottom lip for a while. "Just two weeks?" he repeats in a softer tone, drawing out the syllables in a careful assessment of Baekhyun's reaction to his question. "Isn't she eight months old?"

A corner of Baekhyun's lip tugs up and he laughs a little. "She is, but I've… only been a father for two weeks."

Kyungsoo lets his eyes travel from Baekhyun's, down to the quiver of his lip and to the light tremble of his fingers. Baekhyun's eyes are unfocused, almost empty, unlike the way they had been when he first walked into XOXO with Soohyun in his arms and uncertainty in the way he darted his eyes from one object to another. He waits — for life to come rushing back to Baekhyun's eyes, for Baekhyun to muster a light laugh or a chuckle, for Baekhyun's fingers to steady and start tracing patterns on Soohyun's back.

Soohyun hiccups in her sleep, then nuzzles Baekhyun's chest. The tightness at the corners of Baekhyun's mouth ease. "I'd tell you the whole story but that would involve chips and a shitload of beer," Baekhyun says after a while. "And corny movies, maybe, just so there won't be any awkward silence. Background music or something, the upsound when I start to ramble and forget I'm talking to someone else but myself—"

"Upsound?" Kyungsoo presses his lips thinly, bottom lip jutting out after a while. He hasn't heard that brand of work jargon in a while. In fact, he rarely heard it back then, even if he was once so immersed in brainstorming sessions and production. Cue fanfare, drums and cymbals and trumpets, except he hasn't hit that eureka moment yet — all he ends up with is a small smile on Baekhyun's lips, less of the fatigue Baekhyun has brought with him from work in his eyes and more of Soohyun reflected in them. Baekhyun reaching out, his hand settling on the crown of Kyungsoo's head to fluff his hair.

"Upsound, like your officemate's voice right now," Baekhyun says, cocking his head in the direction of the reception where Chanyeol's laughter goes from a light giggle to thunderous laughter — he must have been successful in convincing Sehun to take a morning session with one of the little girls. Upsound, like Soohyun making tiny sounds in her sleep and eventually chuckling. Upsound, like Baekhyun slowly opening the door of XOXO then greeting Kyungsoo or Chanyeol with his bright voice.

"Next time, then?" Baekhyun hums. He's swaying his head, like he's dancing to a melody only he can hear.

"Next time," Kyungsoo mimics, resolute. There's a funny sensation at the pit of his stomach, a sudden lurch that almost makes him giggle. _Next time,_ he says in his head this time. It sounds better in Baekhyun's voice.

☂

Kyungsoo isn't certain how Baekhyun had convinced him to give him his Kakao ID. Sending texts has always been a chore, somehow, but maybe it's because he finds it easier to call up a person he needs to talk to instead of typing out an explanation in a text message. It's more convenient, and it's quicker to get answers through a spontaneous phone call. It can be off-putting, but it gets the job done. And the reality is that, in media, that's the only thing that's important.

So when he relents, navigating to his KKT profile and showing Baekhyun his ID. He stares at Baekhyun's face — donned with a grin and Soohyun's reflection in his eyes — for a while. " _byunbabehyun_ is an awful ID, by the way," he says, recovering, and Baekhyun only rolls his eyes at him when Baekhyun replies, "Anything is better than _therealdks_."

"Like you're proclaiming you have a real dick," Chanyeol says now, in response to Kyungsoo's narration of the encounter. He shifts in his seat, adjusting the seatbelt as he wiggles. Chanyeol has never been fond of being held down, after all. "Not that I've ever doubted you really had one. I mean, it _does_ look real—"

Kyungsoo snorts. He grips the steering wheel tight. "Next thing I know, you'll already be writing an ode to my dick." He smiles a little when Chanyeol hits him on the arm. "That will be the best birthday present ever. _The sweetest._ "

"You're secretly a koala beneath the grizzly bear exterior!" Chanyeol exclaims, voice soaring above the music on the radio. The station is playing the top ten right now — Chanyeol's pop favorites have made it to the list again.

"Who's got the bamboo?"

"Hmmm." Chanyeol hums for a while. The traffic light turns red, and Kyungsoo steps on the brakes. " _Who_ is the bamboo?"

Kyungsoo looks to his side, meeting Chanyeol in the eye as he licks his lips. Chanyeol's hand, the one he'd been hit with, is warm on his thigh, and city lights from the scene outside dance in Chanyeol's eyes. He feels a shiver run down his spine, numb his back and wound itself around his abdomen. He'd long lost the feeling in his fingers, but he'll never tell Chanyeol that. Chanyeol worries about everything — the small things, the big things, the things that don't affect him directly but affect the people around him, the ones he shouldn't be paying attention to at all — so Kyungsoo stays silent, clenching and unclenching his fists on the steering wheel.

From the corner of his eye, he sees the traffic light turn green. With a deep breath, he turns back to face the road ahead. Chanyeol turns up the volume and starts singing the song blasting on the stereo.

At the next traffic light, two Kakao messages come in in quick succession, and Kyungsoo fishes for his phone from his pockets to see who it is. Two messages, both from Baekhyun — the first is of him saying, _SHE'S KINDA CRAWLING ALREADY???_ , and the second is a picture of Soohyun on her knees and hands, looking at the camera with wide eyes and a small smile on her lips. He shoots Chanyeol a quick glance and types a short reply — _congratulations!!!_ — then sends a bunny sticker with eyes glimmering in happiness. He quickly contemplates retracting the sticker, but KKT isn't like Outlook where you can recall emails as long as they haven't been read by the recipient yet.

The worst part is that Baekhyun has already read the messages by the time the thought of taking everything back crosses Kyungsoo's mind.

_i mean she falls on her face most of d tym but crawling!!!! ( ꒪Д꒪)ノ_   
_aaaaaaaa!_

_lol don't forget to breathe_

"You're giggling," Chanyeol points out, a lilt in the tone of his voice. There's a peculiar smile on the curl of the lip, a familiar glint in his eyes. Kyungsoo thinks he's just seeing things and maybe he really is, because, as soon as he blinks, it's all gone, and all that's left is Chanyeol's steady gaze. "It's cute," Chanyeol adds after a while, barely above a whisper, and Kyungsoo feels his throat tighten, his chest constrict, all of his words trapped in his chest, threatening to explode.

☂

The next few times Baekhyun comes over to drop Soohyun off, he stays long enough to finish a cup of coffee.

Kyungsoo notices one Thursday, when Baekhyun comes back from pacing to the door to twist the cup so that the logo can still be seen from outside. "I'll be back," he says as always, like he has to make a promise everytime he leaves, and wiggles his fingers in the air when he waves at Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo waves back, despite knowing that Baekhyun won't see with his back turned to the glass walls of XOXO, but Soohyun acknowledges his gesture and giggles, then raises her hands as she grabs air.

"Does Soohyunnie want me to carry her?" he asks, consciously using Soohyun's name instead of talking to her directly. Baekhyun had mentioned one time that he'd begun training her to respond to her name already, and he'd promised to help. _"It's part of our job,"_ he'd reasoned out when Baekhyun looked at him with wide eyes and a smile that threatened to rip the corners of his lips. _"To help kids and help their parents, I mean."_

Soohyun's still smiling, and he takes it as a sign to lift her by the waist and hold her close to his chest, rocking her lightly from time to time in tandem with her soft chuckles.

He takes out the cup much later, once Soohyun has already fallen asleep on his shoulder, a patch of drool cool against his skin. When he lifts the cup, it's completely light, and he catches sight of a doodle on the other side of the logo, just beside the customization panel. He goes through the scribble again and again until it's easier to digest, the text coming to life in a voice he imagines to be Soohyun's.

_thank you, oppa~ ♥ soohyunnie_

His phone buzzes, one notification after the other, and he digs deep in his pocket to fish for his phone. _kyungsoo-oppaaaa~ appa might finish late so pls don't kill him ok?? ╥﹏╥_ the first one says, and already he can feel the surge of heat up his arms, wrapping around his throat. _Stop it. You're not Soohyun,_ a voice in his mind says, and Soohyun makes makes a tiny hiccup, clawing on air before promptly letting her hands fall to her sides.

_can u bring me to appa's office if he doesn't arrive by 8pm?? u r d only 1 i trust oppa (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞_

_i'm charging extra,_ he simply replies and, halfway through slipping his phone back in his pocket, he adds, _and you're welcome, soohyunnie._

Two in the afternoon in the daycare is usually a calm and quiet hour, but today he hears Soohyun's soft giggles through her steady breathing, Baekhyun's laughter through the beeping of his phone, the thrumming in his chest growing louder by the minute. He lays Soohyun down on the stroller, pulling her small blanket up to her balled fists, and takes a few deep breaths to still the racing, flush the music out of his system. There's nothing that he needs right now but white noise, static in the background. An empty title card for a commercial that has yet to see the light of the day.

When he opens his eyes, he catches the scent of coffee in his hair, on the pads of his fingers, between his nails. Baekhyun leaves stains on Kyungsoo's skin and gets away with it, completely remorseless. And Kyungsoo drinks everything up, each and every piece of Baekhyun that he leaves whenever he arrives at the daycare with Soohyun, forgets to pick up when he returns to take Soohyun away (and maybe a part of Kyungsoo, as well).

☂

Baekhyun is possibly the worst person to ask directions from, Kyungsoo thinks as he puts the gear shift on reverse and retraces his steps. The instructions are already a mess, as it is, and Baekhyun had made him take a few shortcuts that only had him taking a roundtrip at Guanghuidong and missing a right turn at Chungmuro. _just give me the address, i'll use my gps,_ he texts after a while, exhaling loudly, and Baekhyun sends a string of crying emoticons and stickers, the address of the building sandwiched between them.

He contemplates on texting Chanyeol just to make sure that he's taking the right route, but he knows there will be a string of questions following Chanyeol's reply. And then there will be a conversation about it, and Chanyeol will never let on, teasing him about heading to Baekhyun's office even if he's not getting paid for it. And he'd be tempted to hit Chanyeol on the arm, but he won't; instead, he'll just roll his eyes at Chanyeol and laugh with him a few seconds after. Chanyeol is that Post-it note, a reminder of the things Kyungsoo shouldn't be doing and the ones that he should be, a gentle push to the off-beaten path. A taste of something new that takes you to an old place, something familiar that feels a lot like home.

A funny feeling at the pit of your stomach that leaves you without a choice but to smile. Chanyeol has that effect on people.

Soohyun stirs just as soon as Kyungsoo pulls over near Baekhyun's building, waking up to the sound of two beeps. _east tower, 15th floor. ty ty ♡,_ Baekhyun says through text, then rushes, _501 u can take minseok-hyung's parking 2nyt he isn't around anyway._ Kyungsoo frowns, studying the winking sticker Baekhyun has just sent, and types up a reply before turning off the hazard signal of his car.

_i'm not breaking any rules for you, byun. what if they ask for an id?_

_i'll make sure they won't ;)_

Kyungsoo heaves a sigh and steps on the gas. He knows better than to trust Baekhyun after the incident involving wrong directions, but Baekhyun sounds confident enough about this, somehow, that there simply isn't any reason not to trust. So Kyungsoo does, against his better judgment, and drives to the parking lot, with Soohyun approving of his actions through the flailing of her arms.

He gets through security without a hitch. He should give Baekhyun more credit next time.

Signature Towers is already beautiful as it is from the outside, but inside it looks much more sophisticated than the reflective surface makes it seem. Pristine white walls, glass divisions for some rooms at the ground floor, warm lighting at the reception and helpful staff — all these make Kyungsoo miss reporting to work in an office building and not expecting to be welcomed by a pool of children whose smiles are bright enough to rid Kyungsoo of his morning lethargy. He presses the button to the 15th floor, rocks Soohyun's stroller lightly when she makes a steady, low hum that could possibly be the beginnings of getting upset. She hasn't had her milk yet, and Kyungsoo would have made her some if Baekhyun hadn't specifically told him, _"She just knows when someone else makes her milk. The kid's psychic!"_

_She only wants the best, and that's what she thinks her dad can offer,_ Kyungsoo wants to say. That's why parents are often considered heroes by their children. Kyungsoo snorts a little — maybe he's an isolated case since his hero is himself.

He bends his knees a little to draw Soohyun's blanket up. Air conditioning is too good in the building and, even in the lift, Kyungsoo can feel the numbing cold wrap around the tips of his fingers.

The place feels oddly familiar, with Kyungsoo navigating its twists and turns without any difficulty like his feet know exactly where they should take him. Maybe he's been here before, three to four years ago when the offices he visited weren't only those of clients or production houses. It's not impossible. His memory isn't the worst, but the wear and tear brought about by working too hard and too much has been manifesting more recently, taking its toll on him at the age of thirty-two.

Kyungsoo turns right at the fork, making his way to the east side of the tower. Familiar logos greet him left and right, and he chuckles a little when he finds Baekhyun standing at the entrance of Starcom MediaVest's office. Of course Baekhyun would be working in a media agency. He's a perfect fit — an aura that can uplift any room he walks into, words so effortlessly convincing that he can con any client into believing that he can work magic on the most impossible of requirements. An _I can make things happen_ attitude—

—the top three buttons of his polo undone and his hair a mess, possibly from yanking at it in lieu of screaming out loud. Glasses sliding off the bridge of his nose. The corners of his lips tight and a bit strained, his features void of the sparkle he usually has when he arrives at XOXO to pick up Soohyun.

Something tosses and turns at the pit of Kyungsoo's stomach. The last meal he's had was lunch. Chanyeol had offered him chips at six in the evening but he'd declined, saying he had plans. It's both a good and a bad decision.

"Sorry you had to come here after work," Baekhyun says as a greeting, smiling a little and bowing at him before proceeding to give Soohyun a kiss on the forehead. The corners of his eyes crinkle, but there's no longer the same glimmer in his eyes, as if work had sucked all the happiness out of him. His voice, at least, hasn't changed, albeit not as donned with playful tones and lilts. "Work's been insane the past few days."

"I know," Kyungsoo says, gaze shifting from Baekhyun to the logo behind him. He frames the image in his mind, the rays in Starcom's logo looking like a crown on Baekhyun's head. Baekhyun furrows his eyebrows at him, but his attention is promptly snatched by Soohyun's fingers grazing his chin. "Agency life can be crazy."

Baekhyun looks at him one more time, assessing, and waits for a follow up, but Kyungsoo remains silent, slipping on a mask he used to wear on a regular basis back when he was still working in media — a light upward tug of the lip, a steady gaze, eyes that are blank enough to pass off as an empty look. Then Baekhyun's turning around, running his ID by the scanner and opening the door for Kyungsoo.

"Welcome to Starcom," Baekhyun says, smiling. It looks more natural now, with Soohyun in his arms. "Hope you enjoy your stay."

The office is mostly empty, and the few people who are still working on their desks all have earphones plugged, hands moving deftly across the keyboard. It feels too familiar, so much like home that Kyungsoo wants to wear a second skin he has come to grown accustomed to, the same skin he'd peeled off weeks ago when he left the world of media and advertising. This is the type of workplace that has molded him into who he is today — Do Kyungsoo whose resolve is as strong as steel, whose decisions are always founded on facts and figures and are always for the benefit of everyone. Do Kyungsoo whose heart only melts in the face of an eight-month-old girl in the arms of a man who works in a rival company.

Do Kyungsoo who has a past he can never run away from, no matter what he does.

Baekhyun's office is a spacious place at the end of an aisle, glass walls surrounding it and the door serving as the only thing that's opaque. Frosted letters decorate the glass walls and, through the spaces in between, Kyungsoo can see someone inside, shoulders hunched and eyebrows furrowed. "He doesn't bite," Baekhyun teases, cocking his head in the man's direction, and he holds the door open until Kyungsoo has gotten inside.

The man looks over his shoulder at the sound of Kyungsoo's footsteps, and what greets Kyungsoo is a bright smile that betrays the strain on the man's eyes. "You're back with your friend," the man says, looking at Baekhyun. To Kyungsoo, he says, "I see you don't drive as dangerously as Baekhyunnie does." The man grins at the end of his statement, and Baekhyun walks past Kyungsoo, straight to where the man is to give him a light jab on the arm. The man only laughs in response, hands steady on the keyboard, and Kyungsoo feels as if he's intruding, like he's supposed to leave now since his business is done and Soohyun is safe in Baekhyun's arms.

_Baekhyunnie._ The syllables echo in his ears the same way the man had said them. Baekhyun looks at him, like he's expecting a response, but there's something about the way his lips curl up that makes Kyungsoo think he means to say something else. "Only sometimes," Kyungsoo then replies. "When I have a baby in the back seat."

Baekhyun laughs, and Kyungsoo catches the way his shoulders relax. Soohyun pounds on his chest with her small fists, and that has Baekhyun giggling all the more.

"You should learn from him, Baek. I mean, I spend half the day worrying about Soohyunie's safety," says the man. He then stands from his seat, walking over to where Kyungsoo is, but he promptly stops in his tracks when Baekhyun stretches out one of his legs, as if to trip him. There's silence for a while as Baekhyun meets the man's eyes, and the strangest image of a fight scene flashes before Kyungsoo's eyes — Baekhyun's friend as the controllable character, Baekhyun as the AI, both of them ready to battle. Kyungsoo can't exactly take sides — it's not a choice he can make — but he takes a step back to watch the scene unfold, anyway.

The man is the first to break eye contact and he eludes Baekhyun's foot with ease, but he rams it into one of the tables, instead. Baekhyun's response is immediate — shrill laughter, jarring to an extent, but uninhibited by office rules and fatigue — and soon the man is laughing in accord, crouching low with the crown of his head pressed against the table.

Kyungsoo takes a deep breath and takes a few steps back. This is probably his cue to leave.

Something in his chest gets caught up in knots when Baekhyun walks over to where he is and grabs him by the wrist, keeping him close by. "Whatever. _I'm_ the one who has to worry about her when you're 'taking care' of her," Baekhyun retorts, using air quotes to prove his point, and the man gets back up, slowly approaching then. "No, no, _no,_ don't you even dare—"

"I'm not touching her, okay! I learned the hard way!"

"She can sense your dark aura from a foot away!" Baekhyun argues, then draws Soohyun a bit closer to his chest. The man frowns but retreats, leaning against the table. "Shoo, shoo, go back to work."

Soohyun whimpers a little, and the man takes a few steps back at the same time that Baekhyun gasps. A scene replays in Kyungsoo's head, one that looks a lot like Baekhyun's scare when he first walked in XOXO, and it feels like faulty editing in a commercial, a lapse in post-production. Taking a deep breath, Kyungsoo moves closer, reaching for Soohyun's cheeks and caressing it with his thumb. "She won't bite," he then tells the man and, beside him, he hears Baekhyun's sharp intake of breath.

He can feel Baekhyun's heartbeat on his skin when Baekhyun leans forward. Soohyun does, too — a choked sob, wide eyes looking up at Kyungsoo, a look he hasn't seen on her in all the days that he has spent taking care of her. _Kids are extra sensitive,_ he reminds himself, hears Chanyeol's voice in his head, and he wills his muscles to relax, shoulders slumping a little.

Soohyun hiccups, then giggles.

Kyungsoo used to think that Chanyeol was kidding about his magic touch when it came to children, but this — pacifying Soohyun with a stroke of the hand, a light pinch of the cheek — isn't the first time it happened. Most of Kyungsoo's experience with taking care of kids came from looking after Seungsoo's little boy and Yura's twins, and the two had somehow agreed that it made sense to shove Kyungsoo in the direction of the kids or the other way around at the onset of crying. Appeasing Seungsoo's child had been more challenging than the other two, but it usually took no more than a lullaby and a kiss on the forehead for the child to look up at him with cheeks dry from crying.

Kyungsoo hasn't had the same luck with older people, but he does have the uncanny ability of making people smile with his awkwardly-worded jokes. Even Sehun whose punning skills are top-notch seem to find it hard to not cackle at Kyungsoo's attempts at pulling one off, no matter how silly it is.

"I don't believe it," the man says, tentatively leaning closer to check if Soohyun is, indeed, not crying. "You weren't lying when you said he was a baby tamer. I thought—"

"The one and only," Baekhyun says, grinning. He looks at Kyungsoo and wiggles his eyebrows a little. Kyungsoo feels, _hears_ his breath hitch. "So yeah, long overdue intro — this is Do Kyungsoo, baby tamer extraordinaire. Kyungsoo, this is Kim Jongdae. He's one of the bosses here. Certainly not mine, thank God."

"I've also been subjected to the sad fate of being his best friend," Jongdae adds, huffing as he bumps his hip into Baekhyun's. Kyungsoo feel the muscles of Baekhyun's arms tense, so he rests a hand on Soohyun's arm to assure Baekhyun that his child won't fall. "Nice to meet you. I was beginning to wonder if you were real. I mean, no one can possibly be _that_ good at stopping babies from crying."

Baekhyun snorts. "You just have the kind of face that scares kids."

"My face or yours?" Jongdae retorts, grinning. He turns to Kyungsoo with half of his mouth still upturned in the weird combination of a scowl and laughter that he'd given Baekhyun earlier. "Just call me Jongdae, please. My underlings don't even treat me like their boss."

Kyungsoo laughs a little, then drops the hand that he'd used to caress Soohyun earlier to his side. Baekhyun lifts Soohyun by the waist to nuzzle her nose, and through the sliver of space Kyungsoo catches Jongdae's features softening, eyes following Baekhyun's actions.

"Then please, call me Kyungsoo," he says, recovering, and extends a hand in Jongdae's direction. It takes a while for Jongdae to address the gesture, and Kyungsoo only chuckles in response when Jongdae whispers an apology. "Were you the Jongdae who tried to make Soohyun smile by, uh—" Kyungsoo pinches at the air and does an upward pulling motion, trying to relay his message, and Baekhyun laughs lightly beside him. "By doing that?"

Jongdae narrows his eyes at Baekhyun, an eyebrow cocked lightly. "I don't know what he's been telling you, but that's probably me. He's not lucky enough to get another 'Jongdae' in his life."

" _Thankfully,_ " Baekhyun says, then wheezes when Jongdae pokes him in his side. "Cut it out. I'm trying to be a dad."

_You don't have to try so hard,_ Kyungsoo wants to say, but all his thoughts get lost in Soohyun's laughter and the way Baekhyun's eyes brighten up when she claps her hands just a few inches shy of Baekhyun's nose. Enter Kim Jongdae and his giggles, the upsound that drowns out Baekhyun's protests when Jongdae tentatively reaches over to pinch Soohyun's cheeks. And Jongdae succeeds, but not for too long because Soohyun starts hiccuping again, soft sobs escaping her lips. This is the type of material that makes it big online, gets turned into a viral video and gets parodies made out of it, but Kyungsoo has only met Jongdae. He can't make assumptions yet, even if his guesses have always been on point. So he takes a step back and ganders at the scene some more until Baekhyun turns to him with pleading eyes and Soohyun's sobs finally swell into tears — a director who watches a good scene unfold from a distance, watches it turn from good to bad and waiting for the right time to say 'cut'.

Kyungsoo's throat is dry and tight from where Baekhyun's laughter had wound itself around his neck. He wiggles his fingers before reaching out to wipe Soohyun's tears away, instead.

☂

"You didn't expect me to pay you for your overtime, did you?"

Kyungsoo reaches out to slap Chanyeol lightly on the arm, but his aim has never been the best at half past six in the morning without coffee to keep him. He misses by a few centimeters, the pads of his fingers grazing Chanyeol's skin, and he scowls a little when he bends his fingers too much. "At least buy me coffee," he says, and Chanyeol traps him in a headlock loose enough to be considered comfortable. "You're really asking for it, aren't you?"

Chanyeol tightens his hold for a while, then sneers right in Kyungsoo's ear. "Your attention? Maaaybe," he says, humming, then releases Kyungsoo from his grasp after Kyungsoo successfully hits him with an elbow to the stomach. "Hey, you don't get to ditch me for you client and hit me like this!"

Kyungsoo steps to his side, narrowly avoiding Chanyeol reaching out to grab him by the wrist, and holds up one of the small chairs in the learning area to shield himself from Chanyeol's attacks. Chanyeol is swaying from side to side, like a boxer looking for an opening. This is as good as Chanyeol's athletic skills can get — he's not exactly the worst at activities that involve being athletic or at least being physically active, but most of the time it seems as if he can't control his own limbs, always miscalculating distances and ending up falling on the floor, face first.

"He's not my client," Kyungsoo reiterates, possibly for the third time since he'd come in. Jongdae had called him Baekhyun's 'friend', after all. He'd like to think that after going out of his way just to make sure that a _client's daughter_ is safe in her father's arms, he's already graduated from a babysitter to something more — an acquaintance, afternoon coffee buddy, the best _baby tamer_ Baekhyun has ever known. A friend, if that sits well with Baekhyun.

"And you actually work here, yeah." Chanyeol teases, then lunges to grab the chair by the legs. He yanks it out of Kyungsoo's grasp and sets it back down, then inches closer to trap Kyungsoo again.

The quick wrestling session results in sore arms and Chanyeol's hair in an even worse state, sticking up in several directions. Kyungsoo reaches up, standing on the tips of his toes, and tries to make sense of the mess, pressing down on the strands that stick up and out. He scowls under his breath when he feels the effective stretch in his calves, straining, and it takes a few seconds for him to register the warmth of Chanyeol's arms around his waist, Chanyeol's big palms flat on his back, then squeezing his shoulders as he hoists Kyungsoo up so he can smoothen his hair better. "Done," Kyungsoo whispers, pulling away, and he falls back into Chanyeol's waiting arms as he tries to feel for the ground with his feet.

It isn't cold, not yet, but Chanyeol's fingers are cool against the fabric of his shirt, a complete contrast to Chanyeol's warm breath that tickles Kyungsoo's nose. The walls are frosted in this part of the daycare. "You can put me down now," Kyungsoo says, nonetheless, balling his hands into fists in an attempt to regain the feeling in his hands.

"You can let me go, too," Chanyeol says, smiling as he looks at one of Kyungsoo's feet hooked around Chanyeol's leg. Kyungsoo wiggles his leg free from the hold and waits — for Chanyeol to put him down, for one of the employees to come in, for the voices in his head to start talking or screaming until he can't hear himself in his head anymore.

"Coffee," he mumbles once Chanyeol guides him back down, on the floor. "Before the people start coming in."

There's a flash of _something_ in Chanyeol's features that Kyungsoo only briefly catches, and he grabs the stuffed toy closest to him, chucking it at Chanyeol's face. Chanyeol fights back, hitting him with a hotdog pillow until Sehun walks in and says, voice still thick with sleep, "Are you twelve?" They only exchange light laughter and Chanyeol gives Sehun a light pat on the ass before walking to the door.

"Grow up," Sehun mumbles. "And I'm having a Signature Hot Chocolate, not my usual. Thanks for asking."

What greets them when they get back is Baekhyun at XOXO's doostep, checking his pockets for his phone as he rocks the stroller lightly to keep Soohyun from crying at such an early hour.

"Oh, hey," Baekhyun says, the smile on his lips tight at the corners, resulting to a awkward upward tug. He looks different — sharp and older than he should be with his hair styled and slick with gel, white polo buttoned up all the way and necktie firmly in place. The sneakers have been replaced with dress shoes, but the dark maroon jeans breathe a bit of 'Baekhyun' into the whole ensemble. The cuffs of his sleeves, too, that are undone, but he struggles with them while he greets Kyungsoo and Chanyeol, eyes darting from the two to his clothes from time to time. "Are you really not accepting kids before 7:30 a.m.?"

Kyungsoo takes a few steps forward, tucking his cup of coffee between his arm and his side as he buttons up the cuffs of Baekhyun's sleeves. Baekhyun gulps, too hard to miss with the movement in his neck, and Kyungsoo looks up briefly before turning his attention to the other cuff, securing the button in place as well. He reaches for Soohyun, pinching her cheek, before pulling away and looking over his shoulder to shoot Chanyeol a glance. "Ask the boss."

"He's your boss?" Baekhyun asks, eyebrows furrowed just slightly, then turns to Chanyeol. "You're the boss?"

Chanyeol chuckles. "I look more approchable than most bosses, even employees—" Chanyeol pauses to raise an eyebrow at Kyungsoo, and Kyungsoo steps on his foot in return. "But yeah, I'm the big boss. And I guess we can make exceptions for a regular customer."

Baekhyun smiles. "No one can resist Soohyunnie's charms."

"Apparently," Chanyeol replies. "Even grumpy grandpa Soo."

A grin breaks across Baekhyun's features, and he soon erupts into a peal of laughter that has Soohyun clapping her tiny hands, has Chanyeol laughing in accord, has Kyungsoo watching the scene unfolding in front of him like a director watching the final edit of a commercial that inevitably ends in a product freight meant to make viewers remember the brand and make the client happy. _Mega-fucking-branding,_ Kyungsoo thinks as he lets his eyes linger on the curve of Baekhyun's lips, the dip at the middle, the tiny, almost indiscernible mole just north of Baekhyun's upper lip. Baekhyun's classic cackle. The way Baekhyun's laughter seeps into his skin and has him choking out giggles pre-coffee and at seven in the morning.

The way Baekhyun's features soften as they lock eyes, the way Baekhyun's lips quiver. The way heat sizzles down Kyungsoo's abdomen and makes his insides turn, and the way Chanyeol cocks an eyebrow at him before ushering Baekhyun inside.

_He has a child, Kyungsoo. A child that came from a mother because he doesn't seem like the type to carry a kid in his womb for months,_ he reminds himself, and pushes Soohyun's stroller inside, eyes fixed on the back of Baekhyun's head.

☂

Zitao hands a sandwich to the last kid in line, and Sehun steps in even before the kid could get his hands on the food. Zitao furrows his eyebrows at Sehun at first, almost scowling, but Sehun runs his thumb along the label that says _kimchi bacon egg sammy_. "Taotao-hyung will give you something better, right?" Sehun then says, nudging Zitao with his elbow, and Chanyeol only chuckles as he watches a few good feet away from where the group is.

"You knew he was going to give the kid the weird sandwich," says Kyungsoo as he slides beside Chanyeol. He can still taste the kimchi at the back of his teeth and the bacon on the corners of his mouth. This has got to be the best sandwich Zitao has ever made, if the disaster of a chicken and egg sandwich that Zitao made a week ago is anything to go by. "But you didn't stop him."

"My mom said I've always liked kimchi, even when I was still a child," Chanyeol reasons out, then snakes an arm around Kyungsoo's shoulder. They watch as Sehun and Zitao shuffle the kids inside the can, and the two give them a wave before the kids say goodbye in chorus. "When I have a kid, I'll train him to like kimchi at an early age."

Kyungsoo laughs a little. "Not every kid is like you, Chanyeol."

Chanyeol sneers. "Aren't you glad?"

Kyungsoo only rolls his eyes in response, but he doesn't fight the light upward tug on the corners of his lips. "Get back to work, _boss,_ " Kyungsoo mumbles, and he shivers as Chanyeol slides a hand down the slope of his back, resting just above his waist.

" _You_ get back to work," Chanyeol teases. He pushes Kyungsoo forward, back inside the daycare and into reality. "I won't tolerate laziness."

Baekhyun's loud calling follows, slipping through the small opening of the door just before Chanyeol closes it behind him. "Hey, hey!" Baekhyun's breathing is heavy and ragged, but his grip on the handle of Soohyun's stroller is steady, movements still careful. "Did you just come back from lunch? Because I saw two guys in shorts and jumpers get on the van and…" His voice drifts off and he furrows his eyebrows, unsure of how to continue, but his free hand is still gesticulating the word he's trying to grasp.

"We just sent off some kids on a field trip," Chanyeol says. "The two adults in jumpers included." Baekhyun cackles in response, and there's a flash of amusement in Chanyeol's eyes for a brief moment that Kyungsoo chances upon just before Chanyeol laughs. "Zitao fed us with lots of sandwiches, though. Ah—"

Chanyeol reaches over the counter, like he's looking for something, and Baekhyun turns to Kyungsoo as he exhales loudly. "I was… actually hoping I could invite you for lunch. Or something."

The sound of a few things falling over stops, and Chanyeol looks over his shoulder from where he is. "Or something?"

"Yeah, like—" Baekhyun scrunches his nose, ribbing the tip as he worries his bottom lip. "Food and coffee and maybe some clothes shopping? I mean, for Soohyunnie. I don't know how to pick out clothes for girls."

Kyungsoo finds himself chuckling, and he bites the inside of his cheek lightly to keep more sounds from slipping from his lips. Soohyun does that, too, the nose-scrunching thing, when Chanyeol pokes her tummy and tickles her. Sehun has been spared from the same reaction, somehow, and has almost managed to carry her without sparking tears from her. Sehun best record so far is a minute, a far, far cry from Kyungsoo's hour-long record. Kyungsoo hasn't even had formal training in handling kids.

"Oh? Not even for your wife?" Chanyeol asks as he straightens up.

Baekhyun's eyes widen, and his hand drops to his side at the mention of her. Kyungsoo has seen this before, the half-horror-striken, half-lost look, when Baekhyun had walked past the doors of XOXO for the very first time, and the day after when he returned to drop off Soohyun again. It's not a good look on Baekhyun; Kyungsoo can feel his stomach turning.

"She's just a friend," Baekhyun answers after a heartbeat. The corners of his lips are tugged down now. Kyungsoo reaches over, resting a hand atop Baekhyun's own, and gently pulls on the handle of the stroller. Baekhyun looks at him for a while. "Can I have Kyungsoo for the rest of the afternoon? I don't mind paying extra, I just really—"

"My afternoons are blocked off for Soohyun," Kyungsoo says. He holds Baekhyun's gaze, assessing, until he catches the slightest quirk of Baekhyun's lips.

"Awesome." Chanyeol squeezes Kyungsoo's arm lightly, then offers a small smile to Baekhyun. "I apologize in advance if he gets extra grumpy. This dog bites sometimes."

And then there it is — Baekhyun's laughter, shrill and bright and loud. A surge of warmth to the tips of Kyungsoo's fingers. Soohyun chuckling in her stroller, clapping her hands to the rhythm of Baekhyun's laughter that has softened to giggles. The same weird, lurching sensation at the pit of Kyungsoo's stomach that makes him want to stay rooted in his place to gander at the sight and keep the image of this moment in his memory. An excuse to stay and bask in the warmth of Baekhyun's smile.

☂

"Hey," Baekhyun begins, then rubs the tip of his nose. "Thanks for coming with me."

Kyungsoo scoffs, then hoists Soohyun a bit higher. She's been moving around more recently, pointing at blocks of colors or whatever catches her eye, pressing her palms on Kyungsoo's cheeks whenever she has the chance. "The call for help seemed genuine," he says, speech garbling a bit as Soohyun puffs up her cheeks at him. She lets all the air out at once, chuckling as she ends, and he finds himself half-frowning, half-smiling at the adorable face Soohyun makes.

"That's really cute," Baekhyun comments, and Kyungsoo gulps hard. He's a hundred percent sure Baekhyun was talking about Soohyun and not him.

He looks to his side and widens his eyes when he catches Baekhyun staring. "Well, I really _am_ the worst at picking out clothes," Baekhyun confesses, then leans closer to pinch Soohyun's nose. "I think she likes pink, though? Or maybe Jongdae was just playing with me," he continues, then takes two hoodies — one in pink and the other in yellow, soft pastels going well with the white lining along the hem. He holds them close to her, squinting as he switches from one to another. "I should teach Soohyun to pick better colors."

Kyungsoo takes the pink one and throws it into the shopping cart. "Like?"

"Like black, white, gray…" He points at some dresses, lips pressed thinly as he turns to look at Kyungsoo. "Light gray, cream white, off-white?"

"Kids like seeing colors," Kyungsoo says, then takes a brighter-colored outfit — a blue top and yellow pants that come with a white hoodie when purchased together. Baekhyun only rolls his eyes and grabs Kyungsoo by the wrist, shaking him until he lets go of the clothes and lets the collection fall into the shopping cart. "Thank you. I'm glad you approve of my fashion choices."

"You're one of the few good decisions I've made recently," Baekhyun says, humming, then places a tiny bonnet on Soohyun's head. "Maybe even the best."

"Maybe?" Kyungsoo tries, choking a little as he ends. "You're not sure?"

"I'm not sure about a lot of things," Baekhyun admits, then reaches over to squeeze Kyungsoo's arm lightly. "But I'm sure of this one."

Kyungsoo takes a deep breath, biting the inside of his cheek until the feels the numbing sting of teeth pressing against flesh. It's a toss up between grinning ear-to-ear and feeling the violent stretch of a smile across his lips and keeping everything inside, a slow simmer at the pit of his stomach as Baekhyun seeks his approval on one outfit after another, searching his eyes for the green light.

"You're the worst shopping buddy, by the way," Baekhyun says at the end of their shopping journey, taking a deep breath as he takes his credit card from his wallet. "The absolute worst."

Kyungsoo laughs a little, then parts his lips slowly for a comeback, but the words on the tip of his tongue vanish when Soohyun looks up at Baekhyun and makes a small, almost indiscernible sound, one that sounds a lot like _appa_. "Soo...hyunnie? Say that again," Kyungsoo urges, rocking Soohyun in his arms a little, and Soohyun repeats the same syllables — _appa, appa, appa!_ — again and again as she stretches out her arms in Baekhyun's direction, hands grabbing at the air.

"Soohyunnie's talking—" Kyungsoo exhales, then pulls Soohyun closer to give her a kiss on the cheek. "Soohyunnie is talking, oh my God—"

The biggest, brightest grin surfaces on Baekhyun's lips as he takes Soohyun from Kyungsoo's arms and cradles her close to his chest, nuzzling her nose as she touches his face. "Soohyunnie called me _appa,_ " he says, voice dropping to a whisper, and he closes his eyes as Soohyun repeats those two syllables in his ear, slower with each passing repetition, striking a chord in Kyungsoo's heart even harder as the last _appa_ slips from Soohyun's lips.

He fishes for his phone from his pocket and takes a picture — Baekhyun with his eyes closed and his lips pressed on Soohyun's forehead, Soohyun with her eyes closed, as well, as she laughs, arms raised up in the air. Baekhyun opens his eyes at the sound of the shutter and looks at Kyungsoo, still smiling, and Kyungsoo takes a picture of that, too — Baekhyun's soft smile, glimmering eyes looking straight at the camera, into the lens, at him.


	2. Chapter 2

Kyungsoo collapses on the couch as soon as he gets home, wiggling his toes before tucking them beneath the pillows on the other end. He can still feel the ache in his calves and feet, the long hours of walking and keeping up with Soohyun's pace taking its toll on him. "She gets extra hyper in the evening," he remembers Baekhyun saying. "Just like her _appa!_ " Baekhyun had continued, grinning, and leaned closer to Kyungsoo to nuzzle Soohyun's nose, his palm warm and secure on Kyungsoo's arm.

Baekhyun had stopped to give him a look before pulling away then, hand dropping to his side. Hours after and Kyungsoo can still feel the warmth of Baekhyun's touch, the pressure of five fingers wound around his arm. Baekhyun leaves marks on everything he touches — Kyungsoo just happened to be at the right place and the right time.

He feels the light buzz of his phone in his pocket, and he groans as he turns over and reaches inside to fish for it. Two messages, both from Baekhyun, the first one being a moving sticker of a kid sending a heart across the screen, and the second being a message punctuated by an emoticon. _thank u for helping appa find clothes for me, kyungsoo-oppaaaa~ next time pick out a white dress for me? chuu~ ( ˘ ³˘)♥,_ it reads, and Kyungsoo turns around again, lying flat on his stomach, the smile on his lips pressed against the soft cushion on his couch.

 _anytime, soohyunnie~ (・∇・)❤_ he types after a while, then lays his phone face down on the table when he gets up, heading to his room for a quick shower.

He catches the sound of his phone beeping thrice when he returns from his bath. Some of the fatigue from the time he'd spent with Baekhyun and Soohyun have already gone down the drain along with the warm water that makes the autumn chill much more tolerable, and he feels the tension in his muscles ease a little. He stretches his legs in front of him, pulls a pillow close, then sinks in the couch before going through each notification — messages from Baekhyun, and his phone telling him that it needs to be charged.

_that's not u (' ㅅ ')  
(⊙♡⊙) ← this is u kekeke  
good night, do kyungsoo._

Kyungsoo chuckles, shaking his head as he changes the chat name from _byun baekhyun_ to (' ㅅ '). He exits the application even before his fingers could type a response, and begins to go through his emails, smiling as the goes through each and every single message with Baekhyun's emoticons still at the back of his mind.

☁

October ushers in colder weather, stronger winds and rains beating down the streets of Seoul in the afternoon. Kyungsoo draws the folds of his jacket closer to his chest, shivering when the cool wind wraps around his fists, and Baekhyun only laughs at him. His laughter is shaky, teeth chattering, and Baekhyun bumps his hip into Kyungsoo's when Kyungsoo cackles.

"Now I'm less worried about leaving Soohyun with Chanyeol," Baekhyun says. "This kind of cold's not good for her."

He remembers the time when they walked along the streets of Cheongdam-dong from COEX one evening, and Soohyun had wheezed practically half the time, the long, leisurely walk turning into some of the most heart-thumping minutes of Baekhyun's life. It took a while to soothe the coughing, and no amount of back rubs and layers of blankets could effectively make Soohyun's cough subside. _"My apartment's just around the block,"_ Kyungsoo remembers himself saying, and the lines of tension on Baekhyun's forehead eased and a small smile tugged up on the corners of his lips.

So he asks now, "Byun Baekhyun, worried?", because he's positive that he's crossed the line between acquaintance and friend, and because Baekhyun has circled an arm around Kyungsoo's, hands cold even through the cardigan that Kyungsoo is wearing.

Baekhyun doesn't answer for a while, simply pulls Kyungsoo along with him as they pick up pace and turn a corner. The convenience store is up ahead, just a few blocks away, but blocks have always been a bit wider in Seoul than in most places. "I've got pimples on my nose and cheeks. I'm hella worried," Baekhyun finally replies. "See, that's the thing when you graduate from 'reckless working class guy' to 'dad' — you start to worry about every single thing! What your kid's going to eat, if she's with good company, if she isn't wheezing or—"

Baekhyun worrying his lip as he smoothes out the creases on Soohyun's shirt, Baekhyun rubbing Soohyun's back at the beginning of a cough, Baekhyun's hands rummaging through the pink duffel bag deftly as soon as he finds out it's time for Soohyun to drink milk. The twisting pain in Kyungsoo's stomach when Soohyun starts to cry and Baekhyun takes deep breaths to mask the panic in his system. "Clearly not about who you're about to bump into," Kyungsoo retorts, grabbing Baekhyun by the collar. "You better look out for yourself."

Baekhyun laughs a little. "Well, I haven't done much of that in the past. I should start working on that more," he says, voice almost dropping to a whisper. "It feels a little weird to have someone watch your back all the time, after all, expecting you to fuck up."

"In my defense, I thought you actually had your eyes on the road."

"I did, for a moment," Baekhyun replies, chuckling. Baekhyun slips an arm around Kyungsoo's waist this time, settling just above the hip, and Kyungsoo takes a deep breath when he feels the sudden stripe of warmth spread across his back. He can feel the wrath of the cold winds of autumn beating down his neck, running shivers down his spine. Baekhyun is tapping his fingers lightly on Kyungsoo's waist. "And then I got distracted."

A few steps forward, and Baekhyun still hasn't loosened his hold on him. Kyungsoo gulps hard. "You _would_ be the type," he begins, wincing a little when he hears the sudden lilt of his voice. "To get easily distracted."

"Only by the interesting things," Baekhyun whispers in his ear, then pulls away after a heartbeat. He does a pirouette, stopping as he gestures at the door of the convenience store and bows at Kyungsoo. "After you."

They pick out bags of chips, with Kyungsoo relying on a distant memory of a movie night with Zitao and Sehun at Chanyeol's place, all sorts of flavors in a big bowl of snacks. They grab some fruits, too, and a can of 'Absolute W' for Soohyun. Baekhyun takes too many bars of chocolates and takes a tub of mint ice cream, and Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow at him. "I thought you were freezing?" he asks, and Baekhyun simply grins as he pulls out his credit card and hands it to the lady at the cashier.

"I said I was freezing, not dying." He grabs Kyungsoo by the shoulders, shaking him lightly, and Kyungsoo only rolls his eyes. "Live a little, grumpy grandpa Soo!"

Baekhyun's phone rings a few times before he picks up, and he lets out a little yelp when a voice call pop-up appears. Jongdae's forehead occupies at least half of the entire screen and, behind him, Chanyeol is carrying Soohyun, surprisingly giggly in Chanyeol's arms, and waving at the camera. "Lookie lookie lookie, there's Baekhyun-appa!" comes Jongdae's voice, a notch higher from when Kyungsoo had last heard Jongdae speak, and Chanyeol holds Soohyun's arms up and brings her closer to the screen. There isn't any line right now, not at this time of the day, and it takes Baekhyun a few minutes to tear his gaze away from the video even as the lady at the cashier calls his attention, confirming if he'll be paying using the card he'd just handed over.

Kyungsoo slips his card in the lady's direction and whispers, "Use this, instead," signing the receipt even before Baekhyun could turn back to him with wide eyes.

"I can't _believe_ you!" Baekhyun exclaims, nudging him with his elbow, and Kyungsoo only shakes his head as he tries to wipe away the silly grin on his lips, as he tries hard to choke down the bubbling happiness at the pit of his stomach, threatening to creep up his throat and slip from his lips in a sliver of laughter.

He catches Jongdae's gaze, heavy and assessing, on the screen. Baekhyun catches him in a headlock just before he could shoot a questioning gaze right back at Jongdae. He feels the smooth texture of Baekhyun's shirt against his cheeks, the warmth of Baekhyun's skin through the cloth, the steady, heavy beating in Baekhyun's chest loud — deafening.

☁

Awards season approaches, and Kyungsoo quickly scrolls past advertising news in his Facebook feed to ease the clawing pain in his chest. It's been a little over a month since he'd decided to take a leap of faith and leave Masscom, and the change in routine — from work and sleep and work some more to waking up and dealing with happy people — has been really refreshing. There's still a hollow part in his chest, though, the space where air passes through freely and leaves him shivering in the cold, and he knows deep in his heart that the void is something going back to media and immersing himself in the good ol' chaos might be able to fill.

Chanyeol stretches out on the rubber mat, flat on his back, and yawns. The play area has just been vacated, thanks to Jonghyun and Jinki bringing the children to the learning area, and Sehun and Zitao have excused themselves to grab something to drink and snacks. They can be alone here, where the glass walls are frosted and shielding a bit of what's happening inside from the view of spectators, but Kyungsoo maintains a safe distance, nonetheless, a width of five hands away from Chanyeol, lying flat on his tummy. There are still at least twenty people just beyond these walls and in the learning area, after all.

"I like the silence but, at the same time, less walk-ins means less money," Chanyeol mumbles. Kyungsoo looks to his side — Chanyeol's eyelids flutter closed just in time, accentuating his eyelashes, and, for a moment, he feels a funny tingle at the tips of his fingers, a strong pull that makes him reach over and makes the pads of his fingers tickle Chanyeol's cheek. Chanyeol smiles. "I mean I really, really love my job, but sometimes it drives me crazy, y'know?"

"The kids? You mean Sehun and Zitao, right?"

"Of course." Chanyeol pushes himself off the floor at the sound of the door opening. Kyungsoo follows suit, retracting his hand, fingers suddenly cold at the absence of Chanyeol's warmth. "And Jonghyun and Jinki and you."

Kyungsoo means to ask, _what do you mean 'and you'?_ , because he knows he's been doing everything right, even going over and above the minimum requirement to make sure that the kids staying at XOXO have the time of their lives, but his thoughts are cut off by Jongdae walking in, hands wound tightly around the handle of the stroller and phone tucked between his cheek and his shoulder. "I told you, I just got here. I don't drive like you, okay," Jongdae says into receiver, and Kyungsoo's sure now that he's talking to Baekhyun whose inability to drive safely makes Jongdae worry half the time. Jongdae bows a little and smiles before saying into the receiver, "Whatever, you owe me. I'm gonna leave her with— Yes, yes, I know it can't be anyone else but Kyungsoo."

Kyungsoo feels his throat tightening, and he bites the inside of his cheek to keep himself from grinning.

"Do you use your magic touch on Baekhyun, too?" Chanyeol asks, a corner of his lips tugging up, and Kyungsoo simply cocks an eyebrow at Chanyeol. Saving face is important in the face of someone they aren't too familiar with yet; if this was Baekhyun in front of them, he'd have reached up to twist one of Chanyeol's ears with his fingers.

"So!" Jongdae chirps, slipping his phone back in his pocket. Kyungsoo quickly turns his head, facing Jongdae now. He notices the dark circles under Jongdae's eyes, the downward slope of the cheeks, the strain on the jaw when Jongdae tries to offer a smile as he pushes Soohyun's stroller forward. "Really tough time at work. Everybody's swamped and Baek's hands are shaking because he's had his third cup of coffee—"

Kyungsoo worries his bottom lip. "No sleep?" He then looks at Soohyun, then runs a hand along her cheek and gives it a light pinch. "Has Soohyunnie been sleeping well?"

"No luck for Baek. He's been up for at least 36 hours now." Jongdae frowns. Chanyeol makes a tiny squeak and, from the corner of his eye, he can see Chanyeol fumbling with the hem of his untucked polo shirt. "Soohyun's been getting a lot of rest but she can sense his stress. She starts sobbing everytime he picks her up."

"Oh man. That can't be good," Chanyeol comments. He exhales loudly, and Kyungsoo steals a glance at Chanyeol. He's always been more attuned with the emotions of children more than anyone else in the daycare, only rivaled by Joonmyun who knows exactly how someone is feeling just by giving him a once-over. "We'd be glad to help in any way we can, especially with Soohyun. I mean… Baekhyun isn't just an ordinary client, after all."

 _He's a regular. A pretty demanding regular,_ Kyungsoo tells himself as he silences the other voices in his head. "He's a friend," he says, unceremonious, and gulps hard before he continues, "A really… good friend."

Jongdae cocks an eyebrow, subtle but still visible, and smiles a little. It's Chanyeol who twists his torso to get a better view of Kyungsoo, eyes questioning — not only curious but genuinely piqued — as he cocks his head slightly. Kyungsoo is rarely ever completely transparent, a thin veil of professionalism always shielding him from public scrutiny and condemnation, even when he's already inebriated, but his body acts against him this time, numbing the tips of his fingers, making the muscles in his throat clench. He can't choke it up to lack of caffeine in his system this time — it's two in the afternoon and he has a few more hours left until caffeine dissipates from his body completely.

"Soohyunnie is pretty special," Kyungsoo rushes. He nods slowly when he finishes, unable to find more words, then clasps his hands in front of him.

"She is," Jongdae says, raised eyebrow resting back into its original position. The corners of his lips are softer now, tugged up, revealing more of his cat-like smile. Soohyun would probably look better with that, but inheriting Baekhyun's boxy, comical smile isn't so bad, either. "And Baekhyun has faith in your magic touch so… yeah. He asked me to ask you to take care of her."

"There are too many 'ask's' in that sentence," Chanyeol says, laughing a little, and the tension in Jongdae's cheek muscles lifts altogether.

Jongdae checks and double-checks Soohyun's things before turning to Chanyeol to settle the payment, and Kyungsoo busies himself with making sure Soohyun is comfortably sleeping in the crib, parking her stroller beside it. Chanyeol and Jongdae's voices drop to a whisper, and Kyungsoo doesn't attempt to strain his hearing to figure out what they're talking about, simply keeps his eyes on Soohyun and watches the steady rise and fall of her chest, the small, slow-forming smile on her lips. _don't forget to eat,_ he texts to Baekhyun just before Soohyun stirs, and lays his phone face down on the floor in exchange for a sobbing Soohyun, a frown pulling down on her cheeks, little beads of tears staining them.

Only minutes later, when Jongdae says his thanks for the last time and leaves, does Kyungsoo begin to wonder why he'd taken out his phone to send Baekhyun a message, completely out of reflex, like thinking of Baekhyun's welfare is the most normal thing in the world.

☁

Jongdae sends him an address to some building at six in the evening.

"I threw Baekhyun out of the office and onto his bed," comes Jongdae's voice on the other end of the line, the wind catching on the receiver and muffling his words a little. He repeats himself after a while, and Kyungsoo lets out a sigh as he leans back into his seat. "He looked like he was about to collapse and, well, yeah. You know how he is — he works hard and keeps going at things until he's worn out—"

—drives from the office to the daycare and then to wherever his meeting is, drives from Jongno-gu to Jung-gu and then to Sinchon-dong where he lives, all for the welfare of his child. Stays up late working on presentations and creating ideas out of nothing to make sure that he can present the best and be the best employee ever, so he can come home to Soohyun giggling and waving her arms about, so he can be the best _appa_ that he could possibly be.

"And there's no choice but for him to seek help," Kyungsoo finishes. He takes a deep breath and waves at one of the children leaving the daycare, giving the kid a small smile before he continues, "But he'll put it off as much as possible because, as much as he's annoying, he actually hates bothering people."

Jongdae snorts, then chuckles, a combination that Kyungsoo has heard quite a number of times already. Jongdae rarely ever uses it when talking about other people, but that's how things are with Baekhyun, Kyungsoo supposes. Baekhyun has this uncanny ability to make people do things they normally wouldn't — make Jongdae snort in front of someone he's hardly known for a month despite the suit and the tie, make Sehun warm up in a few days and buy him bubble tea, make Chanyeol grow accustomed to a new person all too easily and maybe be a bit careless. Make Kyungsoo stop relying too much on facts and more on gut feel and just hope for the best.

"I was going to say 'and decide to not give a fuck about every single thing'," Jongdae replies after a while. "So yeah, can you… do me a favor and bring Soohyun home? I'm not sure if I can travel more than a few meters without falling asleep while walking."

"As long as these directions are actually correct," Kyungsoo answers. "And please, get some rest."

He hangs up after a while and scans the daycare, looking for the wall clock. Chanyeol had moved it earlier this week, saying that sunlight always hits the reflective surface and blinds his eyes, and for the first time in so long Kyungsoo felt lucky to not be the same height as Chanyeol. He has two more hours to waste away in the daycare, two more hours until he can bring Soohyun home to her father and breathe life into Baekhyun again, a few minutes to take a chance and prepare Soohyun's milk if he wants to leave early and make sure Soohyun doesn't miss her eating time during the drive. He takes a deep breath and gets up, knocks on Chanyeol's door tentatively before turning the knob.

"I heard your convo," Chanyeol says from behind him. Kyungsoo almost jumps, nails digging into his skin when he clenches his fists too tight. "Go, go, you have somewhere else to be."

He takes a step back, then one step forward, looking up at Chanyeol and studying his eyes, the dark circles under his eyes, the light upward tug of his cheeks and his lips. "I'll make it up to you," he says, letting out all the air he'd kept in his chest, and Chanyeol reaches over to ruffle his hair. The sudden surge of warmth makes him wince, even tremble a little, and Chanyeol only chuckles when he swats Chanyeol's hand away.

There's a good twenty minutes between Sinchon-dong and XOXO, still and quiet minutes with Soohyun's soft humming as the only dissonance. He glances at the address he'd written on a sticky note earlier, the chunky letters standing out against the bright pink paper, and mutters the words under his breath, again and again until the sound of his own voice makes him scrunch his nose.

The last time he's been in Sinchon-dong was back in college, fresh from dancing in a bar, with alcohol sloshing in his stomach and Joonmyun's arm around his shoulder. Joonmyun had kept him on his feet then, as they made their way to the curb and hailed a cab. Joonmyun's alcohol tolerance was okay, at best, and Kyungsoo's was usually better, but his goal that night was to get so smashed in celebration of passing the final exams and moving onto his third year in university and Joonmyun returning from military service. And there was another reason, not part of the press release — Kyungsoo had seen Chanyeol with a girl then, near the path to the open field in Yonsei, sucking face with her. Perhaps he was celebrating, too, Kyungsoo had thought then, and he'd grabbed Joonmyun by the wrist and told him that they had to drink, had to get themselves ass drunk to the point of regretting the mere mention of the word 'alcohol'. Three in the morning and too many shots of tequila after, he was beginning to think that the clawing pain in his chest when he'd seen the flash of surprise — panic, fear — in Chanyeol's features was ten times better than lugging around alcohol in his body.

Joonmyun had kept him in check then, stayed with him in his dorm in Sinchon, rubbed his back until he threw up nearly all the alcohol he'd downed that evening. There is no Joonmyun now to make sure he's driving down the right road and taking the right turns, so he shakes his head lightly and fixes his eyes ahead.

He fishes for Baekhyun's key from underneath a plant pot — "And it was a good thing I had the foresight to put it there," Jongdae had said earlier — and slips it in the hole, turning the knob carefully so as to not make much noise. The place is dark, quiet, and the only source of light is the warm yellow lights a few feet away from the doorway, and then the lights in the living room where the aftermath of many sleepless nights lies — one notebook stacked after the other, cups of instant noodles on one side of the desk, a blazer and a cardigan and something that looks a lot like a university jacket in a pile on the couch, and dress shoes creating a trail to the room. Kyungsoo pushes the stroller forward, careful not to apply too much force so that Soohyun won't be startled, and stops just a few feet from the door to the bedroom.

There's a sliver of light from inside, and Kyungsoo can see Baekhyun's feet peeking from under the covers. He smiles to himself and crouches to give Soohyun a light kiss on the nose. "Kyungsoo-oppa will be back, okay? He just needs to check on Soohyunnie's appa."

Soohyun presses her hands on his cheeks and pulls him forward, their noses rubbing now as she makes indiscernible sounds. "Fine, fine, I'll take you with me," he says, relenting, then gently picks Soohyun up from the stroller.

The lighting is much warmer in the bedroom, and there isn't a trace of the chaos here, not a single sheet of paper on the floor or shoes haphazardly thrown in a corner. Kyungsoo looks around for a while, and stops to look at what Soohyun is pointing at — a crib with pink legs and arches, and white linings accentuating the edges. No mobiles hanging above it or too many pillows in the crib — the sheets are a clean and plain white, and there's just one tiny, fluffy pillow on its surface.

He puts Soohyun down there on her request and slowly makes his way to the center of the room where the bed is.

The blanket has bunched up on both ends, covering only a portion of Baekhyun's legs, and his face is hidden beneath all his hair. Kyungsoo takes a deep breath as he leans close, close, closer, until he doesn't have to strain his arm anymore when he reaches out to brush some of Baekhyun's hair away from his face. There's a soft, warm flush on Baekhyun's cheeks once his face clears, hair tucked behind his ear now, and the movement at the back of his eyelids is rapid — he's probably deep in sleep now, finally getting a much needed break from work, and Kyungsoo slowly withdraws his hand before he can even wake Baekhyun up.

 _Make him juk!_ Chanyeol had called after him before he drove off. He can definitely do that while waiting for Baekhyun to rouse from his sleep.

He's already halfway through getting off the bed when Baekhyun shifts, rolling over until he bumps into Kyungsoo's arm. Quickly, Kyungsoo inches away, retreating his hand, but too late — Baekhyun's already making these tiny whimpers and groans, scrunching his nose as he slowly opens his eyes. There's nothing but silence for a few moments, and Kyungsoo takes a deep breath, waits for Baekhyun to push him off the bed and ask why he's here, how he got here, _why are you on my bed and why did you tuck my hair behind my ear—_

"Kyung… soo?" Baekhyun's voice is low, rough, heavy with sleep and fatigue. The corners of his lips tug up, then down, up again after he blinks a few times. Baekhyun's gaze travels from Kyungsoo's eyes down to the base of this throat, along the length of his arm and down to where his hand meets Baekhyun's waist. He laughs weakly. "What are you doing here?"

He worries his bottom lip for a while and clenches the hand not in Baekhyun's plain sight, just watches the lazy movement of Baekhyun's eyes and the slow-forming smile on his lips. Baekhyun wraps his fingers around Kyungsoo's wrist, and Kyungsoo's breath hitches when the cool pads of Baekhyun's fingers touch his skin. Baekhyun rubs his thumb in an easy pattern on the underside of Kyungsoo's wrist. It tickles, but not the kind that weeds a giggle out of you; instead, it makes the muscles in Kyungsoo's throat clench, a thick lump of air heavy in his chest.

"Soohyun," he chokes out after a while, voice cracking the way it does when he's spoken too much or spoken too little. Another stroke along the vein, and Kyungsoo takes a deep breath as he continues, "I brought her here. Jongdae said you won't be able to come over, so—"

Baekhyun laughs a little, and he lets his hand drop, resting just above Kyungsoo's. "I said, what are you doing _here?_ "

 _Here_ means beside Baekhyun, on Baekhyun's bed, Kyungsoo letting his lack of control get the better of him. _Here_ means the very little space between them and the way Baekhyun's hand covers all of his, his slender fingers fitting between the webs of Kyungsoo's own. _Here_ means Baekhyun's focused gaze and all the sleep leaving his eyes as he focuses his vision and Kyungsoo seeing himself reflected in Baekhyun's eyes.

Soohyun makes a tiny, hiccuping sound, and Kyungsoo feels a violent breath of life in his lungs. He lifts his fingers a little, hooking them on Baekhyun's own and squeezing just a little. "I thought it might be nice to make sure you're still alive," he says then, and Baekhyun falls back into his bed in a fit of laughter.

Baekhyun finally lets go after a while, hand resting on the small of Kyungsoo's back briefly as they both walk over to where Soohyun's crib is. "You want anything for dinner?" Kyungsoo asks, and Baekhyun looks straight at him, runs his gaze down to the tip of his nose, his lips, his chin and his collarbones, all the way to his hips, before shrugging to say, "Anything, as long as it tastes good." So he excuses himself to work his way around Baekhyun's kitchen, clean despite the ruckus on the other side of the wall, and allows himself a few minutes of silence, just him and the low thrumming of the fridge and his pulse throbbing against the kitchen counter, closes his eyes as he tries to will away the feeling of Baekhyun's hand in his, Baekhyun's soft smile, and the way Baekhyun took a little more time staring at his lips than the rest of his body.

☁

The sun is already up high when he wakes up. Light filters through the curtains and casts a soft glow on the sheets all around him. He turns around to lie flat on his stomach, scrunching his nose a little, until he catches the sound of choked laughter and a gasp from a few feet away.

He blinks a few times as he turns around to push himself off the bed. The gurgling grows louder, the voice lilting and, when he turns his head to the sound of his voice, he notices the foreign-looking things in the room, a poster he's sure he has never had in his own bedroom, and Baekhyun crouched near the crib, one hand gently holding Soohyun up.

"Sh-sh-she's— She's standing!"

Last night seems more of a distant memory than anything else. He remembers making _juk_ for Baekhyun, remembers Baekhyun watching over his shoulder and rushing back to the room from time to time to check on Soohyun. He remembers a conversation about really, really, _really_ having to slow down now, after all the times Baekhyun had fallen sick following a pitch or a long and trying period of little to no sleep. And then there's Baekhyun reaching out, scowling when his hand brushes against the pot of _juk_ , then holding his hand as they talked about _tomorrow_ and vacation leaves spent shopping for toys in COEX.

 _He has a kid. He's probably not into men getting pregnant. He has a kid,_ Kyungsoo reminds himself, but his train of thought is set off-track when Baekhyun looks at him, the grin on his lips wide and toothy, eyes almost disappearing into slits as he repeats, "She's standing!"

Kyungsoo walks over to where the two are and gets on his knees, folding his legs to sit on them as he leans closer to Soohyun. Soohyun's hand looks so small as she grips one of the legs of the crib tightly, and there's a line of concentration in the way she furrows her eyebrows ever so slightly, lips pressed together as her knees wobble. She breaks out into tiny sobs when her knees give away, but Baekhyun catches her, cooing as he takes her in his arms and rubs circles on her back as he waits for the crying to subside. "Kyungsoo-oppa, will you please make me smile?" Baekhyun says in that high tone of his, whiny and almost pitchy and really, really annoying, if you didn't know he was trying to sound like a kid and not just trying to wage war against Kyungsoo.

But Kyungsoo knows. He knows Baekhyun more than he should, and his body knows that Baekhyun moves around in his sleep more than he should because he can feel a dull ache in his legs, calves, his arms. "But Kyungsoo-oppa is still sleepy," he says, teasing, and Baekhyun kicks him lightly, cold toes grazing this lower leg a little.

He leans closer, pressing a light kiss on Soohyun's nose, and Soohyun hiccups midway through a sob. He then brings his hands up to cover his face and closes his eyes, thinks of a funny face that has worked countless times on Seungsoo's kids and has made Yura's twins laugh after Yura has fed them vegetables. Slowly, he draws his hands apart, widening his eyes at the same time that Soohyun's face comes into focus. Soohyun giggles, but there are still traces of tears at the corners of her eyes, so Kyungsoo tries again, and again, and again, until Soohyun's clapping and extending her arms in his direction, the pads of her tiny fingers touching his nose.

He brings his hands together again, side-to-side, closing his eyes before he pulls them apart. "Peek-a—" He opens his eyes, then, the smile on his lips prying his lips apart to stretch into a full grin, and what greets him is Baekhyun's face, a small constellation of pimples on one cheek, a bright red patch that looks like a small hand on the other, and the mole just above Baekhyun's lips, teasing, taunting, coaxing him to let his gaze travel south to the dip of Baekhyun's upper lip and the wicked curves at the corners.

"—Boo," Baekhyun finishes, voice soft, barely above a whisper. His breath is warm on the tip of Kyungsoo's nose. It tickles. Kyungsoo can feel Baekhyun's gaze, sees a glimpse of it at the corner of his vision, but all he can think of is how he can't tear his eyes away from Baekhyun's pretty lips, how it would feel to suck on that mole and tease the corners of Baekhyun's mouth—

Baekhyun licks his lips, tongue laving on the pink flesh, and Kyungsoo gulps hard. He feels his hands twitching, curling into ball into fists in an attempt to hold himself back.

"Oh shit, you're heavy," Baekhyun grumbles, leaning back as he hoists Soohyun up and makes her sit on his lap. Kyungsoo pulls away, then, breathing through his nose noisily. There's nothing but the sound of Soohyun's soft giggles and Baekhyun's chuckling, but Kyungsoo catches Baekhyun looking up at him from time to time, holding his gaze until Soohyun pounds her fists on Baekhyun's chest.

 _He has a kid, and the kid likes me,_ a voice at the back of Kyungsoo's head says, and he pushes it down, enduring the tightness and dryness in his throat as he casts one last glance at the two before getting on his feet to prepare breakfast.

☁

Kyungsoo walks into the daycare with two boxes of pizza and six cups of coffee as company. Baekhyun had brewed the coffee right earlier, but Soohyun decided it was good to play with the sugar and put too many scoops in Kyungsoo's coffee. She'd kept her eyes on him the whole time, and who was he to deny the kid of the pleasure of seeing him fight the squirm threatening to take control of his face? So he took a sip, and another, and another, until Soohyun was clapping and Baekhyun was handing him a glass of cold water, apologetic yet giggling.

"I was beginning to think you were—" _Dead,_ Kyungsoo finishes in his head. He saw that coming from a mile away, but Sehun's actions always betray his words as he gives Kyungsoo a quick hug and ruffles his hair. "You got me my staple drink?" Sehun asks now, taking the boxes and placing them on the counter, then calls for Zitao. "Down to the last detail?"

"Brambleberry shit with half and half milk and whatever drizzle?"

Zitao chuckles. "You're missing the tapioca, Soo," he comments, and Sehun gives him a grin, tight at the corners, and pinches his arm lightly.

"Brambleberry iced tea with whole milk and strawberry drizzle," Kyungsoo says, relenting as he takes a deep breath. " _With_ coffee jelly, though I don't know how you can stand all those flavors in one drink."

Sehun gives him a thumbs up and ruffles his hair one more time before taking the boxes to the faculty area, whistling as he goes on his way.

"Dare you question maknae's taste?" says Chanyeol now, making his way to the reception from his office. He's got his bangs bunched up, tied together in a fountain, and his glasses slip from the bridge of his nose. The dark circles under his eyes are more visible than before. Kyungsoo takes a step forward to push Chanyeol's glasses back, and Chanyeol pokes his tummy with a finger. "You could've taken the whole day off, you know. How's Baekhyun?"

 _Freshly showered and playing with Soohyun at home,_ he wants to say, but Chanyeol has always liked getting a general idea of things before delving into the details. So instead, he says, "Alive," pulling away and tightening his hold on the coffee carrier. "Jongdae?"

They start walking to the faculty area, almost bumping into Zitao who's running after his son, Jin, and Chanyeol takes the carrier from Kyungsoo's hand. Their knuckles brush when their hands meet halfway, and Chanyeol is the first to break contact. Kyungsoo furrows his eyebrows a little. "Well, he wasn't panicking when he dropped by this morning. Just wondering where you were because Baekhyun didn't come in."

Kyungsoo snorts. "I don't see the connection." He quickens his pace, half-expecting Chanyeol to catch up and half-hoping Chanyeol won't. The bell is ringing and Sehun will probably be leaving the faculty area in a while, because he still needs to round up his students and convince them that sitting still isn't such a bad thing, and coffee and pizza is a great combination for a noon time talk. They've had weirder lunch meals before. "But okay. As long as he's breathing, I guess. He sounded really worried yesterday."

"I called your landline last night," Chanyeol says, slowly now, drawing out each syllable. Their arms brush against each other. Chanyeol feels warmer than the coffee in the carrier. "Nobody picked up."

Chanyeol has always been good at coaxing answers out of people. It's a special skill, Kyungsoo thinks, or maybe it's just Chanyeol's patience that overpowers other people's resolve to keep everything to themselves. And maybe that's the difference between them — Chanyeol waits until the other person is comfortable enough to open up, using only choice words and sentences to ease the other into sharing; Kyungsoo waits because rushing into things has only ever led to bad results — getting drunk at the age of twenty-two, falling back into Joonmyun's arms and turning around only to realize how close their faces are.

"I stayed the night at Baekhyun's," he confesses. Chanyeol locks the door behind him, then places the carrier on the dining table. "Soohyun wouldn't let me leave."

Chanyeol laughs a little. He motions for Kyungsoo to take the seat beside his, patting the space, and pulls Kyungsoo by the wrist when Kyungsoo doesn't give in. " _Soohyun?_ You mean her dad, right? Come on, Kyungsoo. You're talking to me — Park Chanyeol, bestest best friend ever, the dude who saved your ass too many times and has showered with you for four years because we're roommates—"

"Also the guy whose ass I saved when he overworked himself," Kyungsoo continues, finishing with a small, tight-lipped smile that has Chanyeol frowning. "I stayed for Soohyun. Baekhyun just… happened to be there."

"I've seen the way you look at him."

"I've seen the way you've been looking at the coffee." Kyungsoo takes Chanyeol's arm, holding him by the wrist, pulling until Chanyeol's hand is hovering his cup. "Go. Drink. Now."

"Jongdae said," Chanyeol begins, pausing to take the cup and take off the cap. "That Baekhyun's a wreck right now. _Was_ a wreck — sorry — before Soohyun came." He plays with the rim for a while, scowling when the sharp surface stings his skin a little. "That he was struggling with the baby at first, but now things are so much better, _have_ been better these past few months, ever since—"

Kyungsoo takes a deep breath. "The day found out about the daycare," Kyungsoo continues. He laughs a little, scratchy as the sound fades. "It's made his life as a dad ten times easier—

" _Ever since,_ " Chanyeol repeats through gritted teeth, as if telling Kyungsoo to stop thinking and just focus on listening. "He met you."

 _That's the same, isn't it?_ Kyungsoo wants to ask, but he knows very well that while Chanyeol has an opinion on anything and everything, he is very mindful of the things he says, sometimes a bit too careful with his words. It's part of the training to be an effective copywriter, and Chanyeol has done so well in his job in the past and in this life-long job he's employed in. "Hmm," Kyungsoo says, words escaping him completely, and he holds Chanyeol's gaze until it flickers, traveling to where the pizza boxes are. His hands feel too cold despite being wrapped around his hot cup of coffee, and Chanyeol's movements look as if he's being constrained by the suspenders he wears everyday, hesitating as he decides on which pizza slice to take, tentative as he looks up to meet Kyungsoo's eyes again. This isn't the familiar feeling that envelops him when he sits opposite Chanyeol in a restaurant or when Chanyeol snakes an arm around his shoulder to ruffle his hair.

"She's standing now," Kyungsoo says after a while, pausing from taking a sip of his drink. Something in Chanyeol's eyes lights up, making the corners of his eyes crinkle. "With assistance, of course, but the little girl is standing now and she's been crawling faster and—"

The tight corners of Chanyeol's lips ease, and his cheeks tug up as his mouth relaxes into a smile. Kyungsoo's phone beeps twice, and what greets him when he unlocks his phone is a picture of Baekhyun holding up a sobbing Soohyun, with Baekhyun imitating the face she is making at the camera. "Sorry you have to take care of two kids," Chanyeol says, voice lighter now, the same old tone Kyungsoo has gotten used to, and Kyungsoo doesn't fight the strong upward tug on the corners of his lips, eyes drawing into half-slits as he gives the picture another look, and another, and another.

☁

"Google's looking for an industry strategist and, well, I… may or may not have given them a link to your online resume..."

Kyungsoo brings his chopsticks down, cocking an eyebrow at Joonmyun as he does so. Joonmyun is unfazed, still wearing the same smile he'd carried with him when they met up at the entrance of the samgyupsal place, and Kyungsoo leans closer as he holds Joonmyun's gaze. "Whatever gave you the idea that I wanted to work for Google?" he asks, careful not to raise his voice — Joonmyun hates making a scene, and Kyungsoo hates drawing attention to himself. It's one of the few things they completely agree on.

"I remember everything, you know," Joonmyun replies. He turns over a piece of the meat before turning his attention back to Kyungsoo. "I know the titles of Jongin's favorite comics and the names of your favorite artists—"

"Even the Western ones?"

"Especially the Western ones," Joonmyun affirms, a corner of his lips tugging up even more. "And I remember what you told me three years ago, before they moved you from traditional media planning to digital media — you said you wanted to try your luck and give Google a shot if they were willing to give _you_ a chance." He reaches for one of the pieces with his chopsticks, then picks it up to place it on Jongin's plate. "And this is your chance! The timing is perfect — you're unemployed and you want to try something new—"

Kyungsoo hums under his breath, squinting as he tries to form a cohesive sentence in his mind that won't sound like _I'm actually employed but I'm not being paid for what I'm doing,_ because he knows better than to broach the subject of pro-bono work in Joonmyun's presence. "I'm not really unemployed. Just… trying to figure things out. Gather data before I make a conclusion and make call up companies that have been asking for an interview," he says, exhaling through his nose as he scoffs a little. "I've got a couple waiting for me to call them back. I haven't been spending my idle time lounging around, hyung."

"You've been spending it what that kid," Jongin quips. "What's her name? Soojung?"

 _"Soohyun,_ Kyungsoo corrects. "She can stand now," he adds. "And she can say _appa_. I'm pretty sure that, in a few weeks, she'll be able to—" He doesn't notice that he's smiling until Joonmyun furrows his eyebrows at him. It's not tension that he feels in the muscles of his cheeks; it's a force he doesn't bother to fight. "Hyung?"

"Just—" Joonmyun worries his bottom lip just a little, then says, "—you've got to stop trying to save everyone."

"I am _not,_ " he argues, because it's true — he's not saving anyone, and he's certainly not saving himself. He's just trying something new, enjoying what he's doing for the first time in months. He didn't even see this coming, certainly hadn't anticipated to be waking up at six in the morning everyday to report to work at seven-thirty or even earlier, surrounding himself with kids and kids at heart. He didn't expect to find Baekhyun, and for Soohyun to find him.

Joonmyun shrugs, then places a piece of meat on Kyungsoo's plate. Jongin gives him extra kimchi and a small smile. "Okay," Joonmyun says, exhaling loudly. "If that's what you say."

His phone sounds off thrice on his way home — an email notification and two text messages. The text _Google Inc._ blinks at him innocently from the notifications pane, while Chanyeol and Baekhyun's names scramble for his attention. _i hope u said hi to joonmyun-hyung 4 me,_ Chanyeol says, _bcos he's been worried abt u but i told him ur still alive._ He hits the brakes when he sees the red light and types up a reply — _he says thank you for making sure i'm still alive_ — and opens Baekhyun's message, shaking his head as he hits the back button from viewing a selca of Baekhyun and Soohyun, a picture of the two with their faces smushed, bright smiles rivaling that of Seoul's night lights.

☁

Autumn's wrath comes full circle when Kyungsoo gets a call at five in the morning, Baekhyun's panicked voice ridding Kyungsoo of all his drowsiness all too quickly. "Soohyun's crying. She won't stop crying. I've been trying to calm her down but _nothing_ is working and I think she has a fever and—" And Kyungsoo pushes himself off the bed, pulls on the first pair of pants he sees and slips on a sweater before heading out. And he stays on the line throughout the drive from Apgeujong to Sinchon, listening to Baekhyun talk out his worries and sing Soohyun to sleep. And he wraps his arms around Baekhyun when Baekhyun opens the door, eyes red-rimmed and puffy.

And Baekhyun buries his face in the crook of Kyungsoo's neck, whispering, _I was scared, so scared. I thought I was going to lose her._

"36.3," Kyungsoo announces now, then takes a swab of cotton to wet it with alcohol, cleaning the tip of the thermometer with it. He sees Baekhyun's shoulder relax, falling just a little as he sinks in his seat, then shifts to lean closer to Soohyun and rest his chin on his folded arms. The dark circles under his eyes are more visible now and his hair sticks to his face, so Kyungsoo reaches over once he has returned the thermometer in its container and brushes Baekhyun's bangs away from his eyes.

Baekhyun looks up at him, bottom lip jutted out, the corners of his lips still turned down in a frown. This is worse than the look Kyungsoo had seen the day they met — that was uncertainty with a hint of panic; this one is fear and sadness. Baekhyun chuckles just lightly, though, leaning closer but holding Kyungsoo's gaze, and Kyungsoo feels his chest constrict a little as Baekhyun says, "Kyungsoo-oppa, make me feel well, too," drawling each syllable, the sound rolling off his tongue lazily.

Baekhyun's eyelashes are long, Kyungsoo notices, and his lips are chapped. The pimples have disappeared, too, but his cheeks are flush — drunk with fatigue and lack of sleep.

"I'm not your oppa," Kyungsoo replies, but he threads his fingers through Baekhyun's hair, anyway. Baekhyun leans into the touch, eyes fluttering closed, and Kyungsoo takes a shaky breath as he watches the path Baekhyun's tongue takes as Baekhyun wets his lower lip.

He doesn't realize he's been staring until he catches Baekhyun's gaze — eyes crinkling at the corners — the peculiar curl of the lip, the slender finger running down the column on his neck. He gulps hard against the cold press of Baekhyun's finger, all the air he'd sucked in earlier trapped in his throat. The rest of Baekhyun's fingers fall on the base of Kyungsoo's neck. " _Juk?_ "

Kyungsoo exhales, the knots in his stomach easing a little. Baekhyun hasn't moved an inch. " _Juk_ ," Kyungsoo repeats. "For the sick kid."

There's a pained expression in Baekhyun's features as he winks, and Kyungsoo only shakes his head before getting up to prepare food.

Moving around in Baekhyun's kitchen feels a lot like home, somehow, when he doesn't have to second guess himself when he pulls drawers in search of cooking tools, or rummages through the contents of the fridge to look for specific ingredients that he just knows Baekhyun has in stock. He soaks less rice in a bowl because he knows Baekhyun likes his _juk_ thinner than the usual, and shakes his head as he takes out the hotdog from the freezer. There's never enough unprocessed food in Baekhyun's fridge, and he's mildly concerned about what Baekhyun will be feeding Soohyun when he gets older until he remembers that Baekhyun loves ordering takeout.

He knows too much about Baekhyun because of Soohyun, yet knows too little about him because he's Byun Baekhyun, and Byun Baekhyun doesn't divulge information easily. He lures people into his trap with an innocent smile and sweet words, and he'll watch as they struggle with its kinks to see if they'll hang around long enough to be able to undo the knots, or leave at the first sign of a challenge. If Baekhyun was a commercial, he'd be the comical kind, completely unassuming and laughable at first glance, but you'd stop to think and go back to him, studying every part of his body, the twist of the mouth and the quirk of the eyebrow, until you finally get the message. Byun Baekhyun is never without surprises, and Kyungsoo has finally come to love surprises. He might even consider rebranding himself as one.

"That hotdog _juk_ is pretty interesting," Baekhyun says now, one arm pressed against the entrance to the kitchen and the other simply resting in his side. Kyungsoo only smiles in reply and fixes his eyes on the porridge, stirring continuously even as Baekhyun moves closer to tuck a chin on his shoulder.

Jongdae and Chanyeol come over in the afternoon, bearing a shopping bag filled with items Baekhyun had requested them to pick up — milk for Soohyun, chips and banana uyuu for Baekhyun's sanity, cotton swabs and alcohol in a bottle, and _food for you two, because we're not feeding you._ Baekhyun serves the leftover _juk,_ nonetheless, and Chanyeol leans close to give the dish a sniff before turning to Kyungsoo with furrowed eyebrows. "You made _juk?_ "

"He also made some when I was sick," Baekhyun adds. He scrunches his nose for a while, then rubs the tip before continuing, "Sort of."

Jongdae falls into conversation with Baekhyun while they score lines through the light cuts of the pizza slices and, across the table, Kyungsoo meets Chanyeol in the eye, one eyebrow raised and lips pressed into a tight-lipped smile. "I think something's missing..." Chanyeol says, voice trailing off, eyes flickering from Kyungsoo's own down to the packs of hot sauce just a few spaces away from Kyungsoo's hands, and Jongdae reaches for them even before Kyungsoo can move.

"If you wanted something, you could've just said so, y'know?" Jongdae teases, laughing when Chanyeol rolls his eyes at him. "Or wait, were you talking about ketchup?"

Kyungsoo laughs a little, faint and almost inaudible, and takes the pineapple from his pizza to place them on the slice Chanyeol is holding. "Sometimes, he doesn't know what he wants," he says, then walks to the other side to take the seat beside Chanyeol's. Their knees bump, and Chanyeol sort of flinches away, sort of _jolts_ like he hadn't expected it. "Do you?"

"I want a lot of things. I guess you could say I'm ambitious."

"Greedy," Baekhyun retorts. A corner of Chanyeol's lips turns down and his eyes narrow, and Kyungsoo can see the tension in the shift of Chanyeol's arm muscles as Chanyeol eyes his foot, then Baekhyun's leg with great interest. "There is a thin line in between. Like a dog burying his favorite bone and a dog burying the bone _then_ guarding that area."

"Or you eating three slices of pizza within five minutes," Jongdae interrupts. He swats Baekhyun's hand away, bumping his hip into Baekhyun's, and Baekhyun slinks away and walks to where Kyungsoo is. "Be a good dog and let the humans eat in peace."

Baekhyun leans back into his seat, hands now free of food and crumbs, and Chanyeol reaches over to where Baekhyun is, hand sliding across Kyungsoo's back before coming to rest on Baekhyun's nape. Kyungsoo doesn't address what's happening until he hears Baekhyun yelp, Chanyeol pinching Baekhyun's earlobe then tugging on it hard enough for Baekhyun to tip over. Baekhyun lets out a strangled noise, pressing his palm against Kyungsoo's thigh to keep himself from falling, and his hand slides down Kyungsoo's inner thigh as he tries to jab Chanyeol's arm with his other hand.

Kyungsoo can see the slice of pizza shaking in his hands, can feel Baekhyun's thumb rubbing circles on his thigh. Across the table, Jongdae is cackling, but his eyes haven't left Baekhyun just yet.

"You _asshole!_ " Baekhyun exclaims, voice dropping to a whisper as he grumbles a few more words that sound more like sounds of protest than anything else. Jabs turn into light punches and Baekhyun draws his other hand up, the subtle movement of the tips of his fingers sending a tingling sensation to Kyungsoo's toes.

He rolls the slice of pizza and stuffs it in his mouth, chews on it as noisily as possible to drown out the voices in his head. When Baekhyun drops his fist and Chanyeol lets his face fall forward, resting on his pizza-free hand, Baekhyun withdraws his other hand all the way but replaces it with his right hand, a cold and light press on the inside of Kyungsoo's thigh, a complete contrast to the way Kyungsoo's heart races in his chest — heavy, thunderous, resounding.

☁

Rain comes pelting down just before seven in the evening. Jongdae stays by the windows, watching the droplets of water on the glass, and Chanyeol is sitting cross-legged on Baekhyun's couch, a pillow clutched close to his chest. "Forecast said it'll be cold, but I wasn't expecting this," Jongdae says, taking one last look at the scene just beyond the windows then turning to face the rest of the group. "Should we order food?"

"I can go out for a drive," Kyungsoo says, volunteering, but Baekhyun quickly bumps his hip into Kyungsoo's. "Relax. Your kid's fine. Her temperature won't shoot up while I'm away."

"But it's raining outside," Baekhyun grumbles. Jongdae starts dialing the number for his favorite pizza place and asks if everyone's okay with four-cheese and Hawaiian _again_. Chanyeol holds two thumbs up in agreement.

"I was serious, you know," Kyungsoo says now, taking Soohyun from Baekhyun's arms when Baekhyun starts grumbling. It's not that Baekhyun panics at the onset of danger — his mind is perfectly calm and he knows exactly what to do, but his body translates it differently, highlighting the emotions that he keeps at bay and laying them out in the open. Kyungsoo is a reminder that his mind and body can align, that Baekhyun has complete control over his limbs. It's a silent agreement they've worked out over the weeks they've spent taking care of Soohyun. "For all you know, I might be able to get back even before the delivery arrives and Soohyun won't even think of crying."

Soohyun looks up at Kyungsoo, eyes heavy-lidded but lips parted in a beautiful smile. Baekhyun takes a step forward, reaching out to cup one of Soohyun's cheeks. "The weather's awful right now. Driving won't be the wisest thing to do."

"Byun Baekhyun, thinking about safety?" Jongdae gasps, eyes wide and the back of his hand covering his mouth. Baekhyun frowns at him. "Is this the apocalypse? Should I start praying now?"

Baekhyun blows a kiss in Jongdae's direction, and Jongdae pretends to duck like he'll actually get hit. "Fuck you," he mutters, a wry smile on his lips and, when he turns to Kyungsoo, his lips tug down and his eyebrows furrow a little. "Hey, I don't want you to get into an accident. So be a nice kid and do as I say and cradle my kid to sleep, okay?"

Kyungsoo scoffs. "I don't fancy people ordering me around," he retorts, cocking an eyebrow slightly as Baekhyun leans back, a hint of surprise in the rise of his eyebrows. "Well, maybe I could make a few exceptions…" He licks his lips. "For my favorites."

There's a wide grin spread across Baekhyun's lips, reaching his eyes as the corners crinkle. "Am I one of your favorites, then?" he asks, leaning closer until Kyungsoo can feel Baekhyun's breath hot on his skin. Kyungsoo's breath hitches — Jongdae is only a few feet away from them and Chanyeol's watching, and they're _not alone,_ and Baekhyun's bottom lip is too red, abused from Baekhyun's habit of biting it too much. "Am I your favorite client?"

 _Client._ The sound of the word rolling off Baehyun's tongue sends shivers down his spine. Soohyun raps his chest, tiny hands balled into fists. He darts his tongue out again to wet his lips and Baekhyun's eyes follow the movement, the sharp rise of the chest in tandem with Kyungsoo swiping his tongue over the pink flesh—

"Pa…pa?"

Baekhyun looks up abruptly, eyebrows furrowed and mouth hanging agape as his gaze shifts from Soohyun to Kyungsoo and back. "What did you say, honey?" he asks, bending his knees a little so that he can hear Soohyun better, his ear just a few spaces away, and Soohyun looks up at Kyungsoo, taps her hands on Kyungsoo's chest as she says, again and again, _papa, papa, papa!_

Kyungsoo takes a deep breath. His throat feel oddly dry. There's a heavy beat in his chest, and it's not from Soohyun tapping a melody on it. He looks at Baekhyun. "She means you, right?"

Tension leaves Baekhyun's cheeks as he laughs, the corners of his lips that hang open awkwardly twisting to turn into a soft smile. "I'm pretty sure she means you, Soo."

Soohyun giggles, chuckles, laughs that high-pitched laughter of hers that pulls at the corners of Kyungsoo's lips, too hard that it's futile to resist. He nuzzles her nose, presses a soft kiss on it, then kisses her cheek. He can see the amused look in Jongdae's features and the disgruntlement when he fishes for his phone to take a call, can see Chanyeol standing a few feet behind Baekhyun, just staring, watching. There's a small and peculiar smile on Chanyeol's lips that Kyungsoo hasn't seen in a while. "Well, what do you know," Baekhyun whispers, voice scratchy and almost breathy but lilting just as he ends, and Kyungsoo swallows every urge to rip that smile from Baekhyun's lips and file it at the very back of his mind for a rainy day, tuck it in his heart for safe-keeping, imprint the memory of it on his own lips so that he'll never forget this moment.

☁

The drive home is mostly quiet, the silence broken only by Chanyeol's soft humming or turning up the radio then turning it off not more than a minute after. The rain hasn't quite subsided yet, but navigating through the streets of Seoul isn't as dangerous anymore. "Text me," was Baekhyun's last reminder before closing the door behind the two, and Kyungsoo only rolled his eyes in response, choking down the words threatening to fall from his lips.

"This is stupid," Chanyeol grumbles after a while. Kyungsoo steps on the brakes upon reaching a traffic light and pulls the gear shift up, then turns to Chanyeol. Chanyeol's lips are tugged down, the strain visible in the way his eye bags are highlighted by the downward pull of his cheeks. "You know what? If you say Baekhyun's just a friend then okay, I'll buy that shit. I respect your need to keep some secrets to yourself."

Kyungsoo holds his breath, and he feels the muscles in his throat clench as he waits for the 'but' following Chanyeol's statement. It's there in the way he still has an eyebrow raised, in the way his lips hang parted and air filters through his teeth, breathing coming out noisily. It's in the way Chanyeol's fingers curl, balling into a loose fist, and the way it stays there, hanging from his side, just a few inches shy of Kyungsoo's hand instead of lying flat on the back of Kyungsoo's hand.

"But?" Kyungsoo asks, then. He glances at the traffic light — 60 seconds. There's more than enough time if Chanyeol allows himself a few moments of weakness, if Chanyeol says what he means and doesn't go for fifty feet of long sentences to drive a point. "There's a 'but' there."

Chanyeol closes his eyes, chest rising as he inhales. He lets everything out in one shaky, resounding breath. "But you made him _juk,_ and you said — you said before, years ago, when you made _juk_ when I got discharged from the hospital — that you make that when you want to make _yourself_ feel better," Chanyeol says. He worries his bottom lip, and Kyungsoo feels a familiar coiling in his stomach, a lurching sensation, one he'd continuously tried to push down to the deepest, darkest parts of him.

There are fears that you never quite outgrow, and Chanyeol — Chanyeol _knowing_ too little and too much about him — is one of his greatest fears.

"You said you got that from Joonmyun-hyung. I mean, I don't know what happened the night you got ass drunk. I just know he took you home and rubbed your back while you threw up your guts and—" Chanyeol draws his hand close to his lips and nips lightly on a nail, and Kyungsoo quickly slaps his hand away. Chanyeol gestures at the timer for the traffic light, and the light turns green just in time for Kyungsoo to regain his focus. "I just want to know what's bothering you. I want to know how I can help. For a moment, I thought you were okay already. You seemed really… I don't know, happy? When you started working in the daycare? When you took care of Soohyun — really took care of her — for the very first time?"

Kyungsoo switches the turn signal on and maneuvers to the left. "I guess that's the thing," he begins, then gulps hard before continuing, "Everything was going well, too well, until…"

"You know I hate it when you do that," Chanyeol protests. "Finish what you started. Come on—" Another red light, another moment of surrender.

"Do you remember what I said before? About the happy chapters of my life ending just as soon as I get to the good part?" Kyungsoo chuckles a little. That was years ago, shortly after Chanyeol was released; it would be a miracle if Chanyeol remembered. But then Chanyeol remembers everything, notices everything — tiny bread crumbs at the corners of Kyungsoo's lips, the light furrow of Kyungsoo's eyebrows, the uneven foundation on Kyungsoo's cheek. "You know what happened with work — I was promoted and we were winning businesses, but that huge fuck up of our _supplier_ basically screwed my entire career. College was a good run, then I found out that my dad — my real dad, the one my hyung helped me track down — actually left me in umma and appa's care when my mother died from giving birth to me. That he left because he thought I was a mistake and that he had his first family to support—"

"Whoa, whoa— I didn't know—" Chanyeol's eyebrows are furrowed, and Kyungsoo reaches over to ease the light know with a light press of the thumb. "Who knows about your being adopted?"

"Just my family. My new — my _real_ family," he corrects. He sinks back in his seat, focusing his eyes on the slow-ticking traffic counter. "But nobody knew about my 'real father's' problem. I guess it's one of those things that are better left unsaid."

Chanyeol looks to his side and rests a hand on Kyungsoo's thigh. Kyungsoo feels the strain on his legs fade just a little. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine. It's part of living, this discovery," he continues. He loosens his grip on the steering wheel. "Umma made me rice cakes and _juk_ that time, when hyung and I came back from that confrontation. And Joonmyun-hyung, he made me _juk_ the morning I woke up hungover before third year in uni. They both said the same thing — that it's supposed to make me feel better, and that seeing me feeling better will make them happy. So I do the same for my friends — I cook to set my nerves at ease. I cook to keep myself from thinking too much and worrying about them."

Chanyeol laughs lightly, then turns down the aircon just a little. "So you made _juk_ for Baekhyun twice, because he makes you think too much."

The light turns green again. "I guess you could say that."

Chanyeol doesn't speak until they pass three traffic lights, all green, and Kyungsoo makes a right turn at Chanyeol's street. "I have a suggestion. Just a suggestion, okay? What if you stopped thinking too much, stopping thinking about every damned thing, and just did what you wanted?"

 _That would be stupid,_ he wants to say, but the better half of his senses, the one that knows and is sure that there's merit in not studying every single detail and thinking of every consequence that venturing into a particular decision will entail, keeps him from parting his lips and saying _something._ His best decisions, those that he hasn't had any regret making, have all been a product of acting on gut feeling — sending his resume to a media agency instead of a prestigious brand, quitting the job that he was completely in love with but didn't love him back, taking the job in a daycare when he knows nothing about taking care of babies other than the things he's seen Seungsoo and Yura do. He's never been good with dealing with his own emotions, with accepting that, sometimes, something can just feel right for no reason at all — all the years he has spent in college have taught him to carefully assess a situation before making a decision, after all — but he's thirty-two and he's been forced to grow up too quickly.

Maybe he can take one last stab at being a kid and just wish for something good, hope for the best, trust that everything will be alright. That Google will take him in and that Baekhyun won't accidentally drop Soohyun when he's not paying attention to the road. That thinking of finishing kissing Baekhyun isn't the worst idea and that maybe, just maybe, Baekhyun is thinking of the same thing.

"Do I look like that kind of guy?" Kyungsoo asks, laughing a little as he pulls over.

Chanyeol removes the seat belt and turns to his side so that they're facing each other. The light from the lamp post outside casts more shadows on his features more than light, but Kyungsoo can still see the laughter in Chanyeol's eyes, the smile on the curl of the lip. "No," Chanyeol admits, then quickly blocks the jab Kyungsoo aims at him with his hands. "But you _did_ say that you want something new, right? Why not start now? Why not start with this?"

Kyungsoo cocks his head just slightly, taking in this image of Chanyeol — not the playful one he has played a game with for so many years or the Chanyeol who wins the hearts of people, young and old, alike, with a wink, but good ol' Chanyeol, the same kid who woke up laughing on a hospital bed because, _"I can't believe overtime work almost killed me!"_ The same person who waits for the right time to strike because he knows it's when he'll leave the greatest impact. Honest Chanyeol, the only person who has the courage to rouse Kyungsoo from his life-long sleep and tell him that, really, he has to wake up now. The sun cannot wait.

"And this is why you graduated with top honors and I was only second to you," Kyungsoo answers after a while. Chanyeol breaks out into a grin, a light cackle, and soon it's Chanyeol's laughter that they're listening to — not the silence in the car or the whirring of the engine or the static on the radio, but Chanyeol's laughter, bright and shrill and loud, that blends well with Kyungsoo's own.

☁

Soohyun gets sick again on the second week of November, on the day of Sooneung.

The streets are blessedly clear, thanks to orders from the government, and Kyungsoo is careful to not drive too fast for fear of getting reprimanded. _Severance Hospital in Yonsei,_ he repeats in his mind in the same voice, the same tone that Baekhyun had used, and he feels a sharp pain shooting up his arm. Autumn is cruel to people who easily catch colds, young ones, _babies_ , but the way Baekhyun said, _Soohyun's wheezing. She— she looks so pale—_ , the way he tried to swallow every inch of panic and just focus on driving, the way he assured Kyungsoo that he was alright and that he had everything under control, made the pangs of autumn more painful than before.

Kyungsoo parks just around the block and walks to the hospital as fast as he can. Baekhyun's mask wears out over time, especially when he's faced with Soohyun. This is one of the few times he'll willingly seek help even before time runs out.

He catches Baekhyun outside the nursery, forehead pressed against the window and eyes sullen. With the little distance between them, Kyungsoo can see Baekhyun trembling, bottom lip caught between his teeth, red from worrying them too much. "Hey," he begins, soft so as to not startle Baekhyun, and Baekhyun exhales loudly when he turns around to meet Kyungsoo in the eye.

"She's safe now," Baekhyun whispers in Kyungsoo's ear as he takes Kyungsoo in his arms, face buried in the crook of Kyungsoo's neck. Kyungsoo wraps his arms around Baekhyun's waist, pulling Baekhyun closer as he runs a hand up and down Baekhyun's spine. "If I had just been quicker, if I just thought of bringing her to the hospital earlier—"

" _Hey._ " Kyungsoo pulls away and runs his fingers along the side of Baekhyun's face, tracing its contours. He cups Baekhyun's cheek and Baekhyun sinks into the touch, closing his eyes as his shoulders slump forward. "She's alive, and that's what's important. Other fathers probably would have panicked, but you didn't. You had the presence of mind—"

"Enough to let me drive to the hospital safely, apparently." Baekhyun scoffs a little. He leans forward until their foreheads bump, and Kyungsoo immediately drops his hand to his side, a blanket of cold wrapping around his fingers at the sudden feeling of Baekhyun's warmth on his skin.

Kyungsoo clears his throat, but Baekhyun keeps his eyes closed. He slips an arm around Baekhyun's waist to steady the latter. "See? Could've been worse."

"But—" Baekhyun worries his bottom lip again. "I should've seen it coming. She wasn't this sickly when she was still under Soojung's care. Her coughs and colds went on for at least half a month! Why didn't I— There's a fucking doctor in the office building; I should have—"

Kyungsoo pinches Baekhyun in his side, and Baekhyun abruptly opens his eyes, gaze darting from the bridge of Kyungsoo's nose down to the jut of his lip. "Learned from this. All of this. At least you know what you should do if it ever happens again."

Baekhyun doesn't speak, doesn't move, doesn't make so much as the slightest action and stays in his spot, eyes focused on Kyungsoo's lips. Kyungsoo sucks his bottom lip in and slowly withdraws the hand he'd wound around Baekhyun's waist. There's too much and too little space between them and Baekhyun is just a touch, a decision away, but there's a baby to be watched just beyond the window, a duty to be fulfilled, people just around the block, getting out of the elevator.

But Baekhyun's pull is too strong and it's only seven in the morning and Kyungsoo is weak, all of his shields down, defenses dropped in favor of the warmth of Baekhyun's breath prickling his skin.

"Mr. Byun?" comes a voice few feet away, and Baekhyun pulls away just slightly to turn to the source of the voice. Kyungsoo takes a step back, the sudden loss of warmth leaving him oddly bereft. He tucks his hands in his pockets as the doctor gives his greeting, a gentle smile that reveals dimples on his cheeks.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Zhang and I'm a pediatric pulmonologist." The doctor extends his hand and Baekhyun takes it, shaking it lightly before withdrawing his hand to ease the creases of his shirt. "I will be the attending doctor of your child. Her name is Soohyun, right? Byun Soohyun?"

Baekhyun nods and clasps his hands in front of him. Kyungsoo reaches out to press down on the unruly strands of Baekhyun's hair, and Baekhyun chuckles at him before turning back to the doctor. "Yes, she's Soohyun. She was… wheezing before I took her here. She hasn't exactly been _coughing_. I mean there's no phlegm but—"

"There's an itchiness in her throat, yes," Dr. Zhang finishes. He gives Baekhyun a smile, then turns to Kyungsoo and gives him a curt nod. "Are you his brother, sir?"

Kyungsoo bites the inside of his cheek to keep himself from grinning. Tentatively, he parts his lips to speak. "No, I'm—"

"He's one of the fathers," Baekhyun says. He reaches for Kyungsoo's hand, grabbing Kyungsoo's wrist and pulling him close once his hand finds a nice fit, and gives Dr. Zhang a small smile. "He's been taking care of Soohyunnie a lot, too."

Dr. Zhang's eyebrows furrow a little, but there's a hint of amusement in his eyes, in the way the corners crinkle and the dimples on his cheeks get deeper, more pronounced. "Shall we take a seat, then? I'll run you through the findings of the tests we've performed on her earlier," he says, gesturing at the chairs nearby, and Kyungsoo feels the brunt force of Baekhyun's hand around his wrist, tugging him closer and pulling him along.

☁

"Jongdae says he hates and loves you, and that the key isn't under the rug."

"He still found it, anyway," Baekhyun grumbles as draws a chair closer to Soohyun's bed, lifting it so the legs don't create noise. "Remind them that they're going to a hospital and not a play place, please. You know those two can be a firecracker when put together in one room."

Kyungsoo laughs a little and closes the door behind him, slumping on the other chair Baekhyun has placed near the bed. They've only finished getting settled down a few minutes ago, and Baekhyun had requested Kyungsoo to contact both Chanyeol and Jongdae to let them know that Soohyun's condition has stabilized considerably, but that she'll need to stay in the hospital for 12 days to make sure that she'll be strong enough to face the world again. Chanyeol had been more relieved than overcome with panic, and Jongdae had explicitly said he was planning to skin Baekhyun alive when they see each other again. _"I'm bringing his favorite PJs,"_ Jongdae had mentioned before hanging up, and Kyungsoo thanked Jongdae in the softest, sweetest tone he could muster.

"And you're the fire that sets them off," Kyungsoo teases now, nudging Baekhyun in his side, and Baekhyun laughs lightly in response.

There's a wave of silence for a while, and Baekhyun leans to his side, resting his head on Kyungsoo's shoulder. Kyungsoo tenses a little when Baekhyun drums his fingers on Kyungsoo's thigh before snaking his hand under Kyungsoo's arm, bypassing defenses and resting his hand on the inner thigh. The memory of the night when Baekhyun had waged war against Chanyeol is still fresh in his mind — he can still feel the weight of Jongdae and Chanyeol's curious glances, the heat of Baekhyun's hand on his thigh, the slow and torturous way Baekhyun had slipped his hand even deeper until Kyungsoo could feel the warm press of Baekhyun's fingers through the material of his pants.

It's just the two of them here, now. Baekhyun squeezes briefly before rubbing circles on Kyungsoo's thigh, each stroke harder than the previous. Kyungsoo tilts his head, resting it on Baekhyun's own as he closes his eyes in an attempt to ease the tension in his muscles. "Feeling better now?" he asks, and Baekhyun chuckles lightly in reply.

"Bronchiolitis. Wow." Baekhyun clicks his tongue, then draws lazy figures on Kyungsoo's thigh with his thumb. It's a weird doodle that Kyungsoo can't seem to make sense of. "It's not really asthma but it's… sort of the beginning of asthma. _Could be,_ but ah… I didn't think she'd get that from her mom."

Kyungsoo takes a deep breath and sits up straight again. He feels the light jolt of Baekhyun's body when he twists his torso a little so he can get a better look at Baekhyun. Baekhyun's eyes aren't as guarded anymore, panic no longer thick in the way he strains his eyes open, and there's a soft smile on Baekhyun's lips as he keeps his eyes on Soohyun. "You mentioned her name earlier," Kyungsoo whispers, pausing until Baekhyun turns to look at him. "Soojung, right?"

"Mhmm. That's her," Baekhyun replies. The corners of his lips tug up even more. "She was really nice. _Cute,_ actually, but she'll kill me if she hears me say that."

Kyungsoo snorts. "I see she bites."

"She does. She bites hard," Baekhyun says, wiggling his eyebrows as he grins at Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo nudges him with his elbow, and Baekhyun yelps as he slaps Kyungsoo's thigh. "But life bit her back and she… She passed away just this _Chuseok_ ," Baekhyun finishes, voice dropping to a whisper. "She was on her way to Busan with a couple of friends, and some stupid truck driver lost control of the vehicle and… yeah. They got into a car crash."

"I'm so sorry," Kyungsoo mumbles. He reaches for Baekhyun's hand, squeezing it lightly. "I didn't know— It must have been hard."

Baekhyun sits up straight and Kyungsoo withdraws his hand abruptly, fists clenching. "It was. So much harder for Soohyun definitely. But— It's pretty hard to explain the kind of relationship we have?" Baekhyun locks his arms in front of him, stretching, before turning back to Kyungsoo. "It was just one night. _Fine,_ a couple of drunken nights during those stressful days at work—"

Kyungsoo winces a little. "You don't have to go into the details—"

"—and we both knew, _we both knew_ , that it would never be more than that. We both wanted different things," Baekhyun continues. He places a tentative hand on Kyungsoo's thigh, light to the touch, like he hasn't done it before. Baekhyun isn't usually unsure and uncertain of the things he does, isn't usually the type to second-guess himself, but here he is now, fingers freezing halfway through the small dance they perform when Baekhyun taps his fingers lightly on Kyungsoo's thigh. It feels weird, _foreign,_ like Baekhyun is waiting for an answer to a question he hasn't even posed yet. "I was aware of that and she was aware of what I wanted, too. It just… It just so happened that we understood each other too well, and understood each other's bodies too well, that… yeah. Things happened."

"Things happened," Kyungsoo repeats, laughing a little. "Just like that?"

"Well… She _was_ fun to talk to. Really smart, that woman. I could've— I could've had a future with her if I wanted to." He draws lazy patterns on Kyungsoo's thigh now — swirls, a cloud, a heart. It tickles Kyungsoo a little. "But I didn't. And she clearly could't imagine a future with me, either."

The low thrumming of the air conditioning resounds in Kyungsoo's ears, setting his racing heartbeat at ease, but he can feel the pull of hot and cold on his thigh, Baekhyun still tracing figures on the material of his pants with cold fingers, the heat of tension seeping through the cloth. "But Soohyun—" The rest of Kyungsoo's words are choked down when Baekhyun looks up at him again, bottom lip caught between his teeth, an easy smile tugging the corners of his lips up. "But Soohyun needs parents. She needs a mom and a dad—"

"And she has parents," Baekhyun finishes. "She spent eight months with Soojung. I got to visit her only twice a month because Soojung insisted to keep her away from _her evil dad,_ " Baekhyun adds, frowning when he gets to the last part. "And now that Soojung is gone, I think… I think she would be more than glad to know that there's someone helping Soohyunnie's evil dad to be a good parent." Baekhyun winks as he ends, then leans on Kyungsoo's shoulder. "She'd probably even thank you if she could."

Kyungsoo closes his eyes as he tries to even his breathing, Baekhyun's words wrapping around his chest and making it constrict, making his throat run dry. He can hear Baekhyun's words, _she has parents,_ in his mind, can hear Soohyun calling him _papa_ in her little voice, her tiny, shrill voice filled with so much energy and life. He remembers the way Baekhyun had looked when he first walked through the doors of XOXO and the way he looks now, as he reaches out with his free hand to caress Soohyun's cheek, remembers the way Baekhyun's eyes linger longer than they should on Kyungsoo's lips, and the way he couldn't keep his eyes away from Baekhyun's own, as well.

"Well, then, you're welcome, Soohyun's mom," Kyungsoo says all in one breath, and Baekhyun looks up at him, chuckling then giggling then erupting into light laughter. Baekhyun cranes his neck and his lips graze the the underside of Kyungsoo's jaw, and Kyungsoo can lean in now, move closer until their noses touch and their lips meet, but he can hear soft knocking on the door, Jongdae and Chanyeol's voices, faint and controlled, just beyond the wall.

"I'll get that," Kyungsoo whispers, and Baekhyun simply nods as Kyungsoo pulls away. Kyungsoo takes a deep breath before turning the knob and swallowing the huge grin that has come to surface on his lips. Jongdae and Chanyeol's greetings filter through the small opening of the door and, when Kyungsoo looks over his shoulder, he catches Baekhyun smiling — soft, tender, _genuine_ — at him.

☁

The plan is to take turns looking over Soohyun, but Baekhyun insists to stay the whole time, leaving only for his important meetings and business pitches that he simply cannot pass on. Jongdae suggests that Baekhyun mandate his entire team to turn on their webcams so he can watch over them, but Baekhyun narrows his eyes at him as he mumbles, "That's hella creepy."

"Just for your peace of mind," Jongdae reasons out, resting a hand on Baekhyun's shoulder. "I mean, what if they take extended coffee breaks? What if they go out for lunch and come back three hours after? What if—"

"What if you go to work now and stop worrying about _my team_ because my minions know what I'm capable of?" Baekhyun replies, a grin hanging loosely from the corners of his lips. Kyungsoo laughs from a few feet away, and he moves closer to the hospital bed, checking to see how Soohyun is doing — her eyes are fixed on Jongdae and Baekhyun, darting from one person to the other as she giggles lightly. "And they know that I can hunt them down and have briefing documents mailed to their doorsteps if I really wanted to."

"Now _that's_ fucking creepy," Jongdae mumbles, dismissing Baekhyun with a wave of the hand. "Whatever. Your wi-fi's good, yeah? You saw the email for the upcoming pitch?"

Baekhyun's eyes widen, and Kyungsoo walks over, taking the seat beside Baekhyun. "A business pitch? For which brand?"

There's a brief exchange of looks between Jongdae and Baekhyun before Jongdae turns to him with a curt reply, saying, "Mondelez." Jongdae worries his bottom lip for a while before continuing, "Mondelez Asia Pacific, actually. The brand has been experiencing a huge decline—"

"In sales for the past three years," Kyungsoo finishes, a small smile at the corner of the lips. He's handled Mondelez before, back when he was still in Mindshare and, if there's anyone to be blamed for the decline, it would be the management's apprehension towards investing in digital media. "They rely too much on above-the-line advertising _despite_ knowing that their market is online. Digital is the future of advertising," he continues, shaking his head a little before he adds, "I can't believe they still haven't embraced that fact."

Silence is heavy for a few seconds until Baekhyun breaks the lull with light laughter, turning to Kyungsoo as he snaps his laptop shut. "I knew you looked familiar. I can't believe I didn't realize sooner. I think I saw you in a trade event… once? A couple of times? But you were always with this, uh, tiny guy who smiles a lot."

" _Media,_ " Kyungsoo corrects. "And that would be Joonmyun. He's my boss. He used to work in Starcom before moving to Masscom."

Jongdae attacks with a slap to the arm, and Kyungsoo scowls when Jongdae lands one hit after another. "You. You! You encroached on our territory! We unwittingly let in an enemy!"

"Surprise — I'm actually not a baby sitter!" Kyungsoo says, laughing lightly.

Jongdae goes on about Kyungsoo now knowing top secret information about Starcom and potentially telling his _other media friends_ about it — Jongdae even uses air quotes — and Baekhyun only looks at him, something akin to amusement and wonder in the way Baekhyun furrows his eyebrows a little and the way one corner of his lips tugs up even more than the other, in the way Baekhyun shakes his head, only lightly because he hasn't completely rid himself of his headache yet, in the way he purses his lips briefly, concealing the crazy grin, only to let an even brighter smile surface on his lips.

"So what are your other secrets, hmm, Do Kyungsoo?" he asks, teasing as he narrows his eyes just a little, and Kyungsoo only shakes his head and bumps their elbows together, the heat of the contact shooting up Kyungsoo's arms, forcing a smile upon his lips that he doesn't bother fighting.

☁

Kyungsoo wakes up with a dull ache in his thigh and a pool of drool on his pants. He blinks a few times, waiting for his vision to refocus, and he smiles weakly when he sees Baekhyun lying with his head on his lap, mouth slightly open and nose almost pressed to his belly. Baekhyun's laptop is on the floor, possibly on standby, and Kyungsoo looks around him for a while — nine in the morning on a Tuesday, but he already told Chanyeol yesterday that he'll just take the afternoon shift — before resolving to himself that he's not getting anything done until Baekhyun rouses from his sleep.

He cranes his neck to glance at Soohyun — she sleeps just like her father, mouth open, the rise and fall of the chest even and rhythmic, and traces of drool flaunted on her cheek.

His phone vibrates not too long after, and he strains his arm as he reaches for it, squinting at the unknown number flashing on his screen. It's not peculiar to receive a call at such an early hour, but it's been a while since he last picked up a call from anyone other than Baekhyun, Chanyeol, or Joonmyun, and, occasionally, Jongdae. He closes his eyes, taking a deep breath and clearing his throat before answering the call. He feels his elbow lock for a moment as he draws his phone closer to his ear, the word _hello_ stumbling from his lips like a foreign greeting.

"Good morning! This is Lu Han from Google. May I please speak with Do Kyungsoo?"

 _Lu Han from Google—_ "Yes, this is Do Kyungsoo speaking," Kyungsoo replies, eyes going wide as he clenches his free hand. On his lap, Baekhyun shifts a little, nuzzling Kyungsoo's tummy, and the lurching sensation in Kyungsoo's stomach claws at the walls. "How may I help you?"

There's silence for a while and Kyungsoo worries his bottom lip a little, trying to go through what he has just said to see if he's said something wrong. _All generic, nothing offensive at all,_ he thinks, but the white noise sends a cool sensation to the tips of his fingers, nonetheless. "We've seen your credentials and we believe that you have what it takes to be an industry strategist for all of the Asia Pacific accounts. Think of it as… being a category lead, since you came from media," Lu Han finally replies. There's light laughter for a while, and it takes a few seconds before Lu Han continues, "We're interested in experiencing your capabilities firsthand. Would you be free for a video conference within the week?"

Kyungsoo chokes down the gasp that almost escapes his lips and grins, thankful that this isn't a video conference yet. "I'm free for a video conference anytime this week, actually. Just let me know your availability," he answers, and he can tell by Lu Han's chuckle that Lu Han can hear the excitement in his voice.

"Thursday, 10 a.m.?" Lu Han asks, and Kyungsoo affirms, thanking Lu Han for the call before hanging up. He throws his head back and closes his eyes as he screams, soundless, fists clenched in an effort to not cause too much noise and wake Baekhyun and Soohyun up.

"I heard everything," comes Baekhyun's voice, though, still rough with sleep. 

Kyungsoo hears the hitch in his breath as he looks down at Baekhyun. He's lying on his back now, and Kyungsoo can see every inch of his face — three pimples on Baekhyun's left cheek, one on his right, lips chapped and a tiny dot of drool near his lips. "Yeah, they called," he replies after a while, then runs a hand through Baekhyun's hair. Baekhyun is already ticklish on a normal day, but early morning makes him more vulnerable, pliant, and a bit too flushed in the cheeks. Slowly, Kyungsoo guides his hand down the length of Baekhyun's face, cupping his cheek, and pinches it a little. "I have a video con on Thursday."

"Want to run your lines by me? See if your charm still works on employers?" Baekhyun teases, and Kyungsoo pinches his nose before frowning, jutting out his bottom lip to prove a point.

The point isn't to make Baekhyun push himself off of Kyungsoo's lap or to make Baekhyun trap him against the back rest of the seat, but Baekhyun sits up, anyway, one arm holding himself up and his free hand snaking up Kyungsoo's nape, tugging on Kyungsoo's hair lightly. Kyungsoo takes in a shaky breath as Baekhyun leans close, close, _closer_ , until their noses touch and Kyungsoo can feel the warmth of Baekhyun's breath on his lips. "It certainly works on someone," he whispers in reply, lips quirking, and he slips a hand up Baekhyun's back, under his threadbare shirt. Baekhyun whimpers in response.

"Do you, though?" Baekhyun asks, breath hitching as Kyungsoo slides his hand down to wrap around his waist. "Want to? I mean, it's okay if you don't."

Kyungsoo looks up, peering through his eyelashes, and looks Baekhyun in the eye. There's a flash of uncertainty, doubt, worry in the light furrow of his eyebrows, in the way his fingers turn cold against Kyungsoo's skin, and Kyungsoo feels his insides turn again. He licks his lips and Baekhyun's gaze immediately follows the movement, and Kyungsoo takes one deep breath before leaning closer, their lips meeting in a light brush. He thinks of change, of leaving the past behind, of taking that leap of faith and taking Baekhyun with him. "I want you," he confesses, and there it is — the light tremble of Baekhyun's lips against his own, the warm contact of skin on skin, the inelegant slide of their mouths as Baekhyun parts his lips just slightly, granting Kyungsoo access. Kyungsoo licks Baekhyun's teeth, the roof of his mouth, and he feels the vibrations on his skin when Baekhyun moans. Baekhyun sucks on his tongue in retaliation, sucks on the corners of his mouth, and Kyungsoo yields in favor of Baekhyun nipping on his lower lip, of Baekhyun laving his tongue on the bruised area, opening up for Kyungsoo to claim his mouth one last time as he catches Baekhyun's upper lip between his teeth.

"You could've—" Baekhyun chokes midway through his sentence when Kyungsoo licks a stripe along the column on his neck, then sucks at the base. "—just said yes, you know. _Flashy._ "

Kyungsoo pulls away, holding Baekhyun at an arm's length, and he swallows before pressing forward and kissing the tip of Baekhyun's nose. "Had to make sure you got the message," he whispers, and Baekhyun erupts into a lovely peal of laughter. The vibrations tickle Kyungsoo's skin.


	3. Chapter 3

The start of winter paints XOXO a slightly different glow in the afternoon. The lighting looks warmer even from outside, but the bushes that surround the area aren't as vibrant as before. Freckles of snow catch on the leaves and the steps of the stairs and Kyungsoo wipes them away, scraping his shoe against the ground. Chanyeol's greeting is a nice, warm smile that reaches his eyes, and two young boys waving at Kyungsoo in between smushing Chanyeol's cheeks. "You better have something nice for me," Chanyeol manages to say, albeit muffled, "because the mom of these kids asked for you specifically and I just covered for you."

"Oh? I have another regular?" Kyungsoo takes a few steps closer, reaching out to ruffle the little boy's hair, and he makes full use of the window of opportunity when the boy starts yawning to snatch him from Chanyeol's arms. "You mean I brought in business for your daycare _again?_ I should be getting a raise," Kyungsoo teases, bumping his elbow into Chanyeol's side just lightly.

"You don't even get paid for what you're doing," Chanyeol retorts, the smile on his lips more relaxed now as he hoists the other kid up. "How many people walk into this daycare and actually work pro-bono?"

 _Only someone as crazy as me,_ Kyungsoo wants to say but, instead, he answers, "Oh, you tell me."

"Speaking of—" Chanyeol's voice trails off as he sets the child down, telling the child to not be too rough with his playmates before pulling away. Kyungsoo follows suit, patting the kid's head before leaving, and suddenly they're alone again — not completely but without any physical distraction or obstruction within a close five feet. Chanyeol inches close, snaking a hand around Kyungsoo's arm as they walk to the office. There's a familiar smile on Chanyeol's lips, one that has always made Kyungsoo's insides turn, but today it makes him nothing but curious and leaves him with the need to prod, so he pokes Chanyeol in his side until they reach the office and Chanyeol pushes him inside. Chanyeol locks the door behind them.

"I actually opened applications for an additional person here in the daycare," Chanyeol begins. Kyungsoo nods, urging him to go on, hands clasped as he takes the seat opposite Chanyeol's. "I mean, I'm pretty sure you'll get that job in Google, anyway. It's not as if you'll stay here forever."

Kyungsoo snorts. "What if I want to take care of kids for a living?" he teases and Chanyeol reconsiders, cocking an eyebrow just slightly.

"I can't afford you."

"Right," Kyungsoo affirms. He gestures for Chanyeol to go on as he shifts in his seat, folding one leg under his weight.

"Her name's Joohyun. Seo Joohyun," Chanyeol continues. There it is again, the small smile that had briefly disappeared and was replaced with Chanyeol's signature challenging look. "She has a degree in Child Psychology and she says that working in a daycare might help her understand children better. For research, of course." Chanyeol laughs a little. "Nobody ever stays to work here forever."

Kyungsoo reaches out to press his palm down on Chanyeol's hand and offers a small smile. "Because it doesn't feel like work," he answers.

"She also says she's tired of her 9-to-5 job and is looking for something new. What does that make me, a repair shop where people expect to come out looking brand new?"

Kyungsoo takes a deep breath and leans back, a corner of his lip tugging further up as he studies Chanyeol's face, the contrast between the smile on his lips and the light furrow of the eyebrows, the quick rise and fall of his chest that Kyungsoo knows only happens when Chanyeol's holding back and swallowing all the things he wants to say. _It's not that bad,_ he wants to say. Being a harbor in the midst of storm is a calming, assuring thought, but it also comes with the fact that people will leave, inevitably, and drift back into danger and into the sea. This is Chanyeol who only knows to save people on land not because he can't swim, but because he's afraid to sink. And this is Kyungsoo on a life raft, slowly paddling himself away from the harbor and watching Chanyeol's figure disappear behind the fog.

"Is she pretty?" is the only thing Kyungsoo asks. Chanyeol's eyes light up like flashlights during an emergency; Kyungsoo gives another raft a gentle push in Chanyeol's direction.

" _Very,_ Chanyeol replies, and he delves into the story on how the interview went, how she looked and sounded so passionate about taking care of kids, and the way Jaehwan had reacted to her when she bent her knees and gave Jaehwan a pat on his head. "I think she has your magic touch, too. Or maybe she's just really pretty. I'd stop crying if she smiled my way."

"Yeah, yeah, I get it. You like pretty girls," Kyungsoo says, then sticks out a tongue at Chanyeol.

Chanyeol laughs a little, clearing his throat before saying, "There was a time when I thought I didn't." Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow at him, eyes locked onto Chanyeol's own as if asking, _really, now, Park? This isn't a game. This isn't—_ Chanyeol takes a deep breath, grinning as he continues, "But I'm sure of what I want now, and I want to be a hero. Captain C — what do you think? Pretty cool, huh?"

Kyungsoo tilts his head a little. The slight change in perspective paints Chanyeol a different shade of light and color, like strong brush strokes over light washes of paint. A great campaign idea finally coming to life. The shrill yet beautiful cry of a child that is seeing the world for the first time.

"Nah, I think you're a survivor who's lived to tell the tale," he answers after a while, and Chanyeol's grin eases into a close-lipped smile.

"You're right," Chanyeol says. The weird, lurching sensation at the pit of Kyungsoo's stomach has calmed. He returns the favor, squeezing Chanyeol's hand lightly as he offers a smile. "I think so, too."

☀

Kyungsoo digs his hands in his pockets as he crosses the road, looking to his left, then his right, before walking straight ahead. He's always more wary of street accidents during the cold weather, and he wrinkles his nose as wind blows right into his face, swiping his hair away from his eyes. This season has been chillier than most winters, or maybe it's just the fatigue of carrying children in his arms all day at work. He lets out a sigh as he steps inside the hospital, warmth seeping into his skin almost immediately. He can almost feel his fingers again, but he waits for the pads to thaw thoroughly before running his fingers through his hair.

They're still cold, it tickles. He chuckles a little. This isn't even the full wrath of winter yet. He wiggles his fingers, steps inside the lift, and presses the button to the seventh floor.

It takes several knocks on the door before Jongdae answers, full, bright laughter welcoming Kyungsoo into the hospital room. "Soohyunnie's actually imitating Baekhyun's unintelligible sounds," Jongdae says — manages to say — as he tries to catch his breath, covering his mouth when he ends up wheezing.

Kyungsoo shakes his head, laughing lightly. "As long as he doesn't imitate Baekhyun trying to act cute," he says, and Baekhyun shoots a look over his shoulder before turning his attention back to Soohyun.

There's still a mask dangling from Baekhyun's ear when Kyungsoo walks over to see what they're doing. Soohyun is grinning, albeit her eyes being half-mast, and she's reaching up to Baekhyun a little. Baekhyun's playing a weird, modified version of peek-a-boo with her, eliciting soft laughter from the little girl. He can hear it now, what Jongdae was talking about — the gurgling sounds Baekhyun usually makes when he can't find the words to express how adorable Soohyun is.

He puts his bag down on the seat nearby and lays a palm flat on Baekhyun's shoulder. Baekhyun looks over, quickly removing the last of the mask from his face, and stuff it in his back pocket. Baekhyun turns around so that they're face-to-face, breaths warm on each other's skin, and Kyungsoo feels all the tension from the cold weather outside lift from his muscles as Baekhyun whispers, "Hi."

"Hey," Kyungsoo replies, and he feels Baekhyun fist a hand in his shirt to pull him closer. Baekhyun's nose is too red, just like his ears, and his bangs fall on his eyes, so Kyungsoo attempts to brush them off, frowning a little when Baekhyun's hair doesn't relent. He presses his palm on Baekhyun's forehead, instead, and Baekhyun scrunches his nose and sticks a tongue out at him in response.

"So what are you two up to?" Kyungsoo asks, voice lilting as he pinches Baekhyun in his side. Baekhyun lets out a tiny yelp that sets something at the pit of Kyungsoo's stomach turning again. "Playing without me, hmm?"

"I was busy with _our_ daughter," Baekhyun counters, grinning at him. Some crumbs have caught on the corners of Baekhyun's lips, and Kyungsoo slides his other hand down, cupping Baekhyun's chin as he brushes the crumbs away with his thumb. "And you distracted me. That's not responsible parenting."

Jongdae clears his throat behind them and his muscles shift, suddenly too aware of another presence in the room, but Baekhyun has him pinned down in place with his alluring gaze and the lazy smile on his lips. Baekhyun's bottom lip is a dull shade of pink — he can lean closer and catch it between his teeth, nip on it lightly and suck on it until he can feel the rush of heat up Baekhyun's cheeks and fingertips, until he can see a hint of the bright red it wears after they share a kiss. He can wait for Baekhyun's challenge, or maybe his go signal, a fight-or-flight order. He can pull away. Instead, he remains still, eyes fixed on the uneven dip of Baekhyun's lip and the mole just north of his upper lip. "Hmm?"

"You're making me feel uncomfortable," Jongdae declares, groaning.

Baekhyun leans close for a brief brush of the lips, catching Kyungsoo completely off-guard as he sucks in breath, lips left parted and too willing. He can feel Baekhyun's warm tongue licking his lips, Baekhyun's lips nibbling on his lightly, but soon the warmth is gone and Baekhyun's pulling away, a grin painting the wicked contours of his mouth. Baekhyun takes all of his words and reason with him, leaving him with a silly grin on his lips, and it takes a while to register Jongdae rolling his eyes a few feet away.

"Oh God, you two are the worst." Jongdae shakes his head, but there's a small smile on his lips. "Can't say I'm not proud of you, though."

Baekhyun takes Kyungsoo's hands and sprays alcohol on them before walking to the other side of the bed, picking up his laptop and snapping it shut when he rests it on the table. "You always underestimate me," Baekhyun retorts, and Kyungsoo cranes his neck, searching for Baekhyun's eyes. "You have very little faith in me. Shame on you for being my best friend."

"It's not as if I had a choice, y'know. I didn't want to play the part," Jongdae replies, sticking out his tongue, and Kyungsoo looks over his shoulder when Jongdae squeezes his arm lightly. "But hey, I wasn't kidding — it's about time. I've seen the way you two look at each other."

"Probably the same way you look at that guy in the daycare," Baekhyun teases. Kyungsoo places a soft kiss on Soohyun's forehead before walking over to where Baekhyun is and taking the seat beside his. "What was his name again? Se—"

"Sejong! King Sejong the Great!" Jongdae quickly says, dashing to where Baekhyun is and hitting him lightly on the arm. Baekhyun leans in Kyungsoo's direction, laughing a little then scowling with each slap Jongdae lands on his arm. "Ah, why are we friends again?"

"Because you're both kids," Kyungsoo replies. Baekhyun and Jongdae look at him through narrowed eyes. "Really adorable kids."

"I'm more adorable, though, right?" Baekhyun asks, more like _says_ , as he traps Kyungsoo on the couch the same way he had days ago, when they were alone in this cold room and there was nothing but the low thrumming of the air conditioning and the loud, heavy beating in their chests to break the silence. "Do you like me more than Jongdae?"

 _More than anything else in this world, more than coffee,_ Kyungsoo says in his mind, but instead he goes with a small smile and a light kiss on the tip of Baekhyun's nose.

Baekhyun excuses himself after a while, offering to grab food for the three of them and reminding Jongdae to _disinfect your filthy hands before touching my daughter._ "I'm passing by Starbucks. You want anything?" he asks before leaving, and Jongdae just gives him a thumbs up as Kyungsoo mouths, _the usual._

"Starbucks orders," Jongdae says, voice almost dropping to a whisper as he leans back against the couch. He throws his head back, closing his eyes for a while, and Kyungsoo moves a few spaces away just in case Jongdae means to take a quick nap without the disruption of Baekhyun's voice. "I remember when Baekhyun was still deciding between you being an espresso doppio type or the Americano type. I told him to go with Americano because it was safer." Jongdae pauses, chuckling, then slowly opens his eyes, turning to face Kyungsoo. "And it turns out I was right. Or that his gut feel to go with _my gut feel_ was right. He's always rushing into things, and when he finally slowed down—"

"Are we talking about work or about all aspects of life?" Kyungsoo asks, smiling a little, and Jongdae snorts. "Thank you, I guess. Although I do like my espresso shots done the ristretto way."

Jongdae nods thoughtfully, lips poised in a small 'o'. "Ah, see, that's where he got it right. The first time he got you coffee? It was a last-minute decision to have the shots done ristretto. That was a close call."

There's another wave of light laughter before silence settles between them again. Soohyun has already fallen asleep thirty minutes ago and, if she follows her normal pattern, she'll probably rouse in two hours, three if they're lucky. Baekhyun will be back in thirty minutes if the restaurant take-out service is quick enough, and Jondgae won't be able to stay still in the silence.

"This is long overdue but— Thank you, Kyungsoo, for saving Baekhyun." Jongdae pauses, taking a deep breath, then continues, "For helping him find himself again."

Kyungsoo furrows his eyebrows a little and shifts in his seat so that he's facing Jongdae completely, one leg propped under the other. There's no playful smile on Jongdae's life, none of the usual sparkle in his eyes. His hands are still on his knees and Kyungsoo waits for the follow up, for a grin to break across Jongdae's features as he says, _hah! I got you!_ But none of those.

"I didn't do anything. I just looked after Soohyunnie," he replies. He can feel the weight of a smile hanging awkwardly on the corners of his lips. "If anything, I just—"

"Baekhyun— He was in a dark place before she came into his life. Always swamped with work, not getting enough rest, the complete agency experience and more. Soohyun's mom was a pretty good form of relief from all the work stress. I mean, they got to talk the stress out and other things but, somehow, that wasn't enough. He needed something more," Jongdae explains. "Soohyun gave him a wake up call, and Soojung's death—"

"He told me about that," Kyungsoo whispers. "I know."

"That was another wake up call. More like a wake up _punch_ , because suddenly he had to be a father, a real father, not the type who just gets to visits his daughter twice a month." Jongdae exhales loudly and sucks in his bottom lip before looking up again. "And he was overwhelmed. So overwhelmed. He's used to having answers to all the questions in the world, so used to being the hero, that when it came to the point that he _had_ to ask for help, he didn't know what to do."

Kyungsoo leans back into the pillow and smiles a little. "And then the discovered the daycare."

"And then he met you."

He clasps his hands together, squeezing as tightly as he could, until he feels the strain in his muscles. He knows that very well, the feeling of being powerless, of being driven to the point of giving up, but that's the thing about heroes — you turn a bad situation into something good, breathe light into the darkness, make people believe that, despite being a normal human being, you can rise from the ashes, get back on track, bounce on your feet, and inspire hope in others and in yourself again. So Kyungsoo isn't a hero, really, because he _had_ stopped believing in the concept of hope and had given up. Maybe he and Baekhyun were just at the same place — the right place — at the right time.

"Then Baekhyun isn't a hero at the brink of death," Kyungsoo replies. "He just needed someone to make him feel like a hero again."

Jongdae blinks a few times, until a slow-forming smile surfaces on his lips. "What does that make you, then? The secret cure to all the diseases in the world? A genius scientist who has collaborated with a superhero organization to revive heroes again?"

Kyungsoo shakes his head and laughs lightly. A corner of Jongdae's lips quirks up. "Maybe that innocent bystander who didn't know he needed a hero until he met one."

His phone beeps, and he shoots Jongdae an apologetic look before reaching for his phone in his pocket. It's a message from Baekhyun, one that says, _i'm trying out this new offer of theirs, they call it asian dolce latte idk?? they say it's sweet but it isn't? i'm like wtf?? (⊙︿⊙)_ He can hear Baekhyun's voice in his ears, his head, lilts and curls and all, even the disbelief in its undertone, and he bites the inside of his cheek to keep laughter from spilling.

 _lol they're right, though_ he types. _it is sweet but not quite._

When Kyungsoo turns back to Jongdae, Jongdae has already gotten back to his feet, arms locked behind him as he stretches. There's a familiar smile on the curl of the lip. "And Jongdae?" he calls out, and Jongdae looks over to his side, eyebrows raised just a little. "It's brambleberry iced tea with whole milk and strawberry drizzle."

Jongdae furrows his eyebrows. "Huh?"

"Sorry, it's brambleberry iced tea with whole milk, strawberry drizzle, _and_ coffee jelly," Kyungsoo amends. "I'm gonna fucking kill him the next time he makes me buy him a drink."

A soft _oh_ escapes Jongdae's lips as a grin breaks from across his features, reaching his eyes, making its corners crinkle. "Thanks," Jongdae mumbles, cheek muscles straining as he tries not to smile, and Kyungsoo gives his arm a light squeeze before sinking back in his seat.

"Anytime, Jongdae. Anytime."

☀

Kyungsoo wakes up with a tiny jerk of the body, eyes quickly searching for the wall clock even through the veil of fog in his eyes. He's been waking up every hour but he double-checks, anyway, squinting hard to refocus his vision. Six in the morning, his mind registers, and he allows himself to exhale a little, sinking back into the couch as he closes his eyes. Travel time from the hospital to the daycare takes an hour, but he can always pull over somewhere safe and take the call from Google if he has to, just call in late at XOXO if traffic decides to rebel against him today. Or he can ask for Baekhyun's keys and just freshen up there; it will save him time. Baekhyun's house has already become a bit like home, after all.

He shifts a little in his seat, but a warmth holds him down, two hands pressing down on his thighs and rubbing circles on the inside. "Good morning," comes Baekhyun's voice, low and scratchy, and, when Kyungsoo looks down, he's greeted by the sight of Baekhyun on his knees, face close to his crotch, dangerously so that he can feel the prickling heat of Baekhyun's breath on his skin.

"Good morning," he croaks, trying his best to find his voice again. Baekhyun smiles up at him, the corners curling up in a predatory smile, and Kyungsoo runs a hand through Baekhyun's hair in response. Baekhyun sinks into the touch, the curl of his lips softening into the subtlest smile, and Kyungsoo takes in a shaky breath when Baekhyun purrs. "How long have you been up?"

"Haven't been able to sleep much," Baekhyun replies, craning his neck a little so that Kyungsoo's hand can find a better fit in the curve of his cheek. Kyungsoo chuckles lightly, sliding his hand down, and Baekhyun indulges, nuzzling the soft skin. "You were moving around too much. Your lap's not cozy anymore," Baekhyun complains, and Kyungsoo gives Baekhyun's cheek a light pinch.

"You're the one to complain when I've been the one sleeping sitting up the past few days," Kyungsoo replies, sticking out his tongue just a little. Baekhyun's lips fall open, parting in a small 'o', and Kyungsoo takes it as a chance to lean closer and press their lips together, Baekhyun yielding all too quickly as he tilts his head and moans into Kyungsoo's mouth. There's still the taste of sleep at the corners of Baekhyun's mouth, laziness in the way Baekhyun's tongue draws out a lick, and Kyungsoo pulls apart when he feels a sizzle of heat roll down his abdomen. "No, that's not going to change my opinion on things."

Baekhyun rests his cheek on Kyungsoo's thigh before looking up. "Then let me apologize in the best way I know," he says, then pauses to lick his lips. Kyungsoo sucks in his bottom lip in response. "I can't promise it won't be a rough ride, though."

There's a question at the tip of Kyungsoo's tongue, but all this words crawl back down his throat as Baekhyun presses his lips on Kyungsoo's cock through his boxers, the heat permeating the thin material. Baekhyun teases, lightly sucking on Kyungsoo's length, nipping, and Kyungsoo balls his fists into the couch as Baekhyun moves further down, pressing his lips of the tip of Kyungsoo's dick. "We're in a hospital—" Kyungsoo says, but his words are drowned out by the heat of Baekhyun's hand wrapping around his balls, squeezing lightly. His throat constrict and he feels his chest clench as he chokes down every sound threatening to spill from his lips.

"We're clean. Won't do any harm to Soohyun at all," Baekhyun replies, sinking lower as he mouths Kyungsoo's balls. Kyungsoo lets out a faint gasp. He can barely feel his legs anymore.

"May I?" Baekhyun asks after a while as he dips two fingers inside the band of Kyungsoo's boxers. Kyungsoo nods in response and takes a deep breath, and Baekhyun keeps his eyes on him as he tugs the boxers down, fingers meeting his teeth halfway as Baekhyun catches the band between them, pulling down the underwear all the way through. Kyungsoo follows the movement with his eyes, pausing only when Baekhyun gulps hard, the movement in his throat slow and torturous, and Kyungsoo finds himself gulping as well as Baekhyun moves closer, barely centimeters away from his cock.

"You're sure about this?" Baekhyun asks again. His gaze is dark, breathing heavy with the uneven rise and fall of his chest.

He shivers a little. The room feels much colder than before with him exposed like this, Baekhyun's lips wet and warm and waiting, and Kyungsoo nods, three slow bobs of the head as he whispers, "I'm sure of you." There's a small smile tugging on the corner of Baekhyun's lips before Baekhyun's runs a hand along Kyungsoo's length, thumb pressing down on the sensitive skin.

Kyungsoo's breath hitches as Baekhyun brushes his lips tentatively on the tip, darting out his tongue then laving it along the surface, then drawing out a long suck before pulling away. He whimpers at the loss of warmth, and Baekhyun resurfaces with a long lick along the underside of Kyungsoo's cock. He grabs at the pillows, air, before sinking his fingers into Baekhyun's hair, careful not to press too hard on Baekhyun's scalp, and Baekhyun hums appreciatively before gripping the base of his cock with one hand and rubbing lazy patterns on his balls, all while licking stripes along his dick and pressing soft kisses along the vein.

"Baekhyun—" He can feel heat coursing through his veins, setting off explosions at the tips of his fingers, and he strains his eyes as he keeps his gaze focused on Baekhyun, never leaving his face, his eyes, his mouth, watching Baekhyun's every movement — the way Baekhyun's pink lips stretch around his cock, the way Baekhyun's cheeks hollow out, the beads of tears that gather at the corners of Baekhyun's eyes when Kyungsoo bucks his hip, craving more contact as he hits the back of Baekhyun's throat. He leans forward, brushing the tears away, thumb trailing down to wipe the spit at the corners of Baekhyun's mouth. "Baekhyun— I'm—"

Baekhyun runs a thumb along one of Kyungsoo's balls one last time before giving it a light squeeze. Kyungsoo cries out, fists clenching in Baekhyun's hair, and Baekhyun takes it as a sign to go on, to faster, deeper, taking in all of Kyungsoo. Baekhyun's mouth is hot like a furnace, his tongue criminal in the way he wraps it around Kyungsoo's length, and Baekhyun presses his tongue along the underside of Kyungsoo's cock, eyes sharpening in focus as he draws out a long suck. Kyungsoo chokes on his breath, chest constricting and his thighs clenching so hard, and soon he's spilling at the back of Baekhyun's throat, hot and thick.

Baekhyun licks him clean, tongue laving on every inch of Kyungsoo's cock, and Kyungsoo seethes at the contact, oversensitive. When he feels his limbs again, he reaches for Baekhyun, cupping Baekhyun's cheek in his hand and leaning close until their noses meet. Baekhyun darts his tongue out just a little, wiping off the spit at the corners of his lips with a shy twist of the mouth, and Kyungsoo only smiles as he presses their lips together, mouths sliding inelegantly. He can taste himself at the back of Baekhyun's teeth, on Baekhyun's tongue, and an unfamiliar feeling settles at the pit of his stomach, the words _mine, mine, mine_ echoing in his mind.

"You have to get going if you want to freshen up before going to the daycare. Go and get 'em, big boy," Baekhyun whispers when they pull apart, and Kyungsoo stares at the tiny wrinkle of Baekhyun's nose, the cute mole just above the curve of his mouth, bottom lip swollen and red because of _his_ lips.

Kyungsoo presses a light kiss to the tip of Baekhyun's nose and shakes his head. "We still have time."

☀

"So, when exactly were you going to tell us that you already resigned from your old job?"

Kyungsoo chokes on his own laughter as the wind blows harder than the usual. He wraps his arms around himself in an attempt to keep himself warm, but to no avail — his tolerance for the cold has never been admirable. _"That's why you keep me around,"_ Chanyeol always says whenever Kyungsoo grumbles at the cold weather, and Kyungsoo looks over his shoulder briefly and waves at Sehun and Chanyeol before turning around the corner, walking to his parking spot.

"Soon," he answers just as he steps to his side, hiding behind a brick wall from the blowing wind. "We were getting more awards and I was getting more sick. I just hope they're still getting recognition even if I'm in perfect condition now."

"Crazy," Seungsoo says on the other end of the line, then adds, "We're proud of you, you know." Kyungsoo smiles and cough a little. The end of November is drawing nearer and the weather is becoming more unbearable every minute. He should probably get new jackets once Soohyun gets discharged. He could have Baekhyun tag along and let Baekhyun give him unsolicited advice that he'll most probably follow, anyway. _Live a little,_ Baekhyun's words echo in his mind. "Well, I am. Umma and appa were furious at first but I told them you're big now—"

"They laughed, didn't they?"

"Don't they always?" Seungsoo replies, laughing lightly. "And they said they're just happy you'll finally get a chance to rest. You were abusing yourself back then, when you were in the agency. You were hardly not sick."

Kyungsoo unlocks his car and gets inside, exhaling loudly as he feels warmth creep back up his arms. He closes his eyes, leaning back into his seat as his grip on his phone loosens just a little. "You'll be glad to know that I haven't been sick since I resigned," he says, and there's another string of laughter from Seungsoo. Some static in the background, then the sound of howling wind — Seungsoo loves the cold because it gives him the excuse to be warmer than the usual.

"Yeah, I heard from Chanyeol. He sort of tells me everything. Sometimes, I think _we're_ the best friends, not the two of you." Seungsoo chuckles. "He said you met a cute kid? Ah, what was her name…"

A smile tugs on the corners of Kyungsoo's lips. _Byun Baekhyun,_ a voice at the back of his mind says, and he silences that voice with a shake of the head. He slowly opens his eyes. "Soohyun," he answers. "Her name is Soohyun. She's… actually in the hospital right now, recovering from bronchiolitis."

"Oh." Silence, then, "How… How are you?"

Kyungsoo takes a deep breath and rests one hand on the steering wheel. He's never been able to craft a good enough answer to that question. He'd usually say _I'm okay_ or _Good, could be better_. There's always an underlying 'but', a hint of apprehension in admitting that he's fine, everything's okay, and that there's nothing to worry about, but that's how adults usually are, aren't they? Adults worry about every single thing, every damned detail, and fret over the smallest of things. What if something bad happens in the midst of all these good things? What if the worst happens? Only when they're absolutely certain of something are they comfortable enough to answer, without any hint of doubt, _I'm okay. Good. Amazing._

Thinking about things too much complicates everything. So he goes with a simple, "I'm feeling great."

Seungsoo hums for a while, filling the white noise for a few seconds, until he clicks his tongue once and takes a deep breath. "Just that? Nothing else?" he asks.

"I had an interview with Google a few days ago," Kyungsoo tells him, smiling as he enunciates the word _Google_. "I'm hopeful about it. I haven't felt this excited about something in years, so yes — I'm feeling really great," he continues.

Seungsoo asks him again, tone more testing than inquiring, as if he's _just making sure,_ because that how Kyungsoo has always been — absolutely certain of things and of himself on the outside, in words, but never without doubt inside. It's a tough mask that he hasn't taken off before leaving Masscom, before turning his back on a job he'd come to love and hate at the same time, but things are different now — there is no mask to be worn, no persona to assume, nothing but chances to take and a whole new world of possibilities ahead of him.

He thinks of the daycare, the children, Sehun, Zitao, Jinki and Jonghyun who have all helped him recover some of his lost thirst for life. He thinks of Chanyeol who has taken a blind leap of faith after so long, thinks of Soohyun and her sunshine smile and the way she holds out her hands at him without any apprehension, with nothing but trust as she grabs at air as if telling him, _Come closer, papa. Everything will be alright. Just come closer—_

He thinks of Baekhyun waiting back in the hospital, ready with stories to tell and kisses to share with him. He thinks of chances he thought he'd long lost but encountered again in the face of Byun Baekhyun, in his smile, in the wicked contours of his mouth.

He starts the engine and takes a deep breath. "Never felt better in my entire life."

☀

Soohyun gets discharged just a few days shy of December. Baekhyun makes a game out of whose elevator can reach the second basement fastest, and Kyungsoo indulges, racing Baekhyun to the parking lot. He takes big strides, holding Soohyun close to his chest, and Baekhyun complains when he reaches the car last, saying that it isn't fair, "I had to carry the stroller! It's ten times heavier than Soohyun!"

Kyungsoo chuckles and double-checks Soohyun's safety seat before riding in front, snapping his seat belt in place. "You just need more exercise," he teases, sticking out his tongue, and Baekhyun leans close until their noses touch.

"I've got you and Soohyun. I get a lot of exercise," Baekhyun says, sneering, then quickly sinks back in his seat when Kyungsoo slaps him in the arm.

Baekhyun heads straight to the room to lull Soohyun to sleep when they get home, and Kyungsoo rummages through Baekhyun's fridge in search of something remotely edible. He laughs lightly when he sees the neat stacks of food in the compartments, the containers barely allowing light to pass through the small spaces in between. "A changed man," Kyungsoo mumbles as he takes out the kimchi and tofu, and he almost cackles when he finds nothing but hotdog in the freezer.

"Maybe not," he whispers, and takes out a pack, setting aside a few pieces for later.

Baekhyun doesn't emerge from the room until fifteen minutes after, halfway through Kyungsoo boiling slices of hotdog on a soup pan and adding a bit of soy sauce to taste. "What the hell are you doing?" Baekhyun asks as he moves closer, wrapping his arms around Kyungsoo's waist as he tucks his chin on Kyungsoo's shoulder. "You can't keep invading my kitchen. I'll get used to this and then I won't want to cook ever again."

Kyungsoo leans his head back, lips meeting Baekhyun's in a soft kiss, and he can feel the smile slowly tugging at the corners of Baekhyun's mouth. "Then you'll have to deal with it," he whispers, lips still brushing against Baekhyun's cheek. Baekhyun spins him around so that he's leaning against the counter and Baekhyun has him trapped, arms on either side of him, and he grips the soup spoon tightly in his hand. "Brute force won't get our lunch done," he teases, and Baekhyun leans in, catching his bottom lip between his teeth.

"Have you started on the rice?" Baekhyun asks in between light sucks, and Kyungsoo chokes out a _yes_ as he fists his free hand in Baekhyun's shirt.

Kyungsoo doesn't remember to add in the rest of the ingredients and the gochujang and doenjang until Baekhyun whispers in his ear, five minutes after, _this is just the appetizer._ He slaps Baekhyun's arm lightly before pulling away, turning around to get back to cooking, and Baekhyun leans against the counter, eyes following his every move, every tiny jerk of the body. He pours kimchi juice and water into the mix, slowly stirring, and the small smile on his lips falters when heat catches on them. He can feel the sting of the steam heavy on the small cracks on his lips, tiny marks that serve as a reminder that Baekhyun hasn't gotten tired of the taste of his lips just yet. He presses them thinly together as he keep stirring, lifting the spoon once the red hue evens out, and he feels Baekhyun's arms around his waist again, pulling him closer, pulling him in.

"Drop the damned spoon," Baekhyun says, chuckling before he sucks on the underside of Kyungsoo's ear. "We only have a few minutes."

The moment Kyungsoo's fingers leave the tip of the handle, he feels the warmth of Baekhyun's tongue licking along the shell of his ear, relentless. Kyungsoo turns around, backing Baekhyun against the kitchen table, and Baekhyun pushes himself up to sit on it and wraps a leg around Kyungsoo's waist. Baekhyun's hands are wild, grabbing onto Kyungsoo's shirt, snaking up his back, sliding back down and out to hold his hips, bucking forward, craving contact, and Kyungsoo answers with a long lick along the column of Baekhyun's neck, drawn out sucks on the underside of Baekhyun's jaw.

"Fuck—" Baekhyun voice is low and rough in his ears, and he can feel Baekhyun's erection brushing against his through his track pants. Slowly, he dips his fingers inside Baekhyun's pants, looking up at Baekhyun before grabbing the band as if asking, _is this okay?_

"You don't have to ask nicely," Baekhyun mumbles, voice shaky, and Kyungsoo claims Baekhyun's lips again as he pulls Baekhyun's pants down, pressing on the dip of Baekhyun's hips.

Kyungsoo snakes his hands up Baekhyun's waist, beneath the threadbare shirt, and pulls it over Baekhyun's head, exposing soft skin. There's an invitation written on the curve of Baekhyun's neck, and Kyungsoo leans close, sucking on the skin lightly until Baekhyun's face falls forward, leaning against Kyungsoo's own. The first full contact is electric — Baekhyun gasps when Kyungsoo wraps a hand around his cock, thumb pressing down on the tip and rubbing lazy circles on it. Kyungsoo leans closer, lips hovering one of Baekhyun's nipples for a while before covering it with his lips, laving his tongue on the sensitive skin and sucking lightly. Baekhyun's hands are cold on his shoulders, trembling, and he feels the grip on his shoulders tighten when he starts pumping Baekhyun, slow strokes in tandem with the movement of his tongue on Baekhyun's nipple. Baekhyun bucks his hips, seeking more heat, and Kyungsoo smiles as he sucks on the nipple one last time before dropping to his knees.

Baekhyun holds him up, grabbing him by his hair. Baekhyun's cheeks are flush and his eyes are aflame his lips are parted just lightly, chest heaving with every breath he takes. "I want to feel you," he says, breathy, and Kyungsoo gets up, hand leaving Baekhyun's cock to pull his pants down.

"No, let me—" Baekhyun gets back to his feet and grabs Kyungsoo's hand, squeezing it lightly before working on the band of Kyungsoo's pants, pulling them down slowly. Kyungsoo shivers, suddenly feeling the cold air wrap around his body, and he suddenly misses the warmth of his clothes, misses Baekhyun's body hot and flush against his. "Now, we're even," Baekhyun mumbles after a while, once their clothes have been pushed to the side, and Baekhyun slides a hand around Kyungsoo's waist, pulling him close and moving his hand south to squeeze Kyungsoo ass.

Kyungsoo feels the muscles in his thighs clench as heat rolls down his abdomen and Baekhyun rubs against him, their cocks sliding against each other. He hears Baekhyun seething at the friction, feels Baekhyun's teeth clamping down on Kyungsoo's shoulder as Kyungsoo takes both their cocks and pumps, slow and steady jerks that soon turn into fast strokes with every gasp, groan, moan that Baekhyun whispers into Kyungsoo's ear. He can feel the tension in Baekhyun's muscles as he goes faster, only pausing to rub on the tip of Baekhyun's dick and suck on the back of Baekhyun's ear.

The sound of Baekhyun's soft _ah's_ fill his senses as he lets his face fall forward, finding a perfect fit in the crook of Baekhyun's neck, and snakes a hand down the dip of Baekhyun's back to cup Baekhyun's ass, thumb rubbing along the cleft just lightly. Baekhyun jerks in response, a throaty moan spilling from his lips, and slides his thumb deeper until he's pressing down on Baekhyun's rim. "Kyungsoo, please—" Baekhyun whimpers, and he rubs harder, strokes their cocks faster, until Baekhyun is spilling all over his fist, their torsos and chest.

Baekhyun guides a hand between them and wraps it around Kyungsoo's cock in a loose fist. He shivers at the warmth, and he can feel his stomach coiling, clenching even more as Baekhyun jerks him off until he's coming, strings of cum catching on Baekhyun's chest.

"You're a messy cook," Baekhyun whispers, breath hitching when Kyungsoo leans forward to lick his release off of Baekhyun's chest. Kyungsoo smiles a little, feeling the warmth of Baekhyun's fingers in his hair, hand sliding down to cup his cheek and tilt his chin up. "I'm never letting you in my kitchen again."

"Only when distracted," Kyungsoo replies. Baekhyun's slow bubbling laughter is a fever running down his spine, setting off explosions at the tips of his fingers. He pays no attention to the sound of bubbles popping just a few feet away and claims Baekhyun's lips in a kiss, sucking on the corners, the lower lip, licking every inch of Baekhyun's mouth until no other taste lingers in his mouth but that of Baekhyun's. "Only when distracted."

☀

The streets of Seoul are much calmer at this time of the year, but the volume of children coming in and going out of XOXO hasn't dwindled a bit. There have been mothers requesting for very specific people — Jinki for children whose parents want them to start learning at an early age, Jonghyun for those who want to learn art. Zitao has been deemed an expert at dealing with rowdy boys, calming them down with a scrutinizing gaze and a small smile, and the little girls have taken a liking to having Sehun braid their hair. "Now I'm a princess!" Kyungsoo hears one of the girls saying, and she runs straight into Kyungsoo's arms, resting her tiny hands on Kyungsoo's nape as she said, "Carry me, oppa! Carry me!"

"I'm kinda grateful the less hyper ones go to me," Chanyeol says now as he carries the girl in his arms to the couch, laying her down carefully on the cushion. "Half of my energy gets spent on keeping Jonghyun from gushing over the kids too much. And then the other half goes to making sure Sehun doesn't fall asleep on the job."

Kyungsoo rocks the girl in his arms lightly. "He spends more time awake now. His favorite's been teaching him how to draw."

"Teaching him how to—" Chanyeol stops, furrowing his eyebrows as he leans closer. "I have to talk to that girl. She needs to pass on her secrets."

"Ah, but you're not Sehunnie's favorite..." Kyungsoo teases, and Chanyeol growls at him through gritted teeth before rushing back to the girl he'd carried earlier when she starts to stir.

Kyungsoo's phone sounds off, a long tone in tandem with the light vibrations, and Kyungsoo whispers in the child's ear, "Oppa just has to take this call, okay?", helping her get down and reminding her not to run around the room too fast else she might bump into her playmates. When he turns back to his phone, the words _Google - Lu Han_ welcome him in big letters.

He takes a deep breath and clicks the _answer_ button, then draws his phone close to his ear as he says, "Hello?"

"Hello, Kyungsoo!" Lu Han greets, bright and chirpy despite the evening fast approaching. "I'll cut to the chase — congratulations on making it to the next round!"

Kyungsoo lets out a low exhale, leaning back against the wall as he lets the grin pulling at the corners of his lips have its way. He's been through two interviews so far, but he's been having email exchanges with Lu Han recently, sending off information that Google has been asking for. "Ah, thank you," he replies, then shakes his hands as he tries to fight the giggle threatening to spill from his lips. "It really means a lot."

On the other end of the line, Lu Han chuckles. "One last test, though, before get inducted as a Noogler — a Google Hangout session with our global management team. They want to meet you in the flesh—" There's strange, strangled laughter on the other end of the line before Lu Han continues, "I mean they want to meet you and ask you a few more questions before we go through that final assessment of your capabilities."

"As long as it's not about my previous accounts," Kyungsoo answers, voice lilting towards the end. "My non-disclosure agreement is still in effect and even if it wasn't, I won't disclose information on them, ever."

Lu Han lets out a small, amused sound. "You're too serious! It's just a Hangout session!"

In the distance, Kyungsoo hears the sound of the doors opening, and he catches Jongdae's bright greeting and Baekhyun's _Where's Soo?_ before turning back to the conversation. "I guess I'll just wing it, huh?"

Lu Han laughs in response, then tells him that he'll send him the details of their video call tomorrow, _"when it's not yet close-of-business and when I'm in a good mental state to get into the nitty-gritty of it."_ Kyungsoo says his thanks, ending with a _"looking forward to hanging out with the management,"_ and Lu Han snorts before hanging up. He slips his phone back in his pocket, taking a deep breath as he rejoins the group, and he furrows his eyebrows a little when he sees Jongdae handing out Starbucks drinks like he's giving everyone candy.

"This is for... Zitao! Green tea frappe, right? Twice-blended, non-fat, no whipped cream?" Jongdae asks, raising his eyebrows as he turns to Zitao to confirm, and Zitao almost squeals in delight and asks Chanyeol if they could _keep him_. Chanyeol only shrugs and waves his hand in approval, and Jongdae shoots him a cold look before rummaging through the paper bag again.

Jongdae takes out two Americanos this time, over ice, placing them on the counter without reading the names on the cups out loud, and Kyungsoo only chuckles as Baekhyun quickly gets both, walking to where he is and sliding next to him. "I figured I should try taking mine with a ristretto shot, too," Baekhyun says, leaning close, and Kyungsoo feels the light brush of Baekhyun's lips against his cheek as Baekhyun hands him his drink.

Kyungsoo gives Soohyun a light kiss on the nose, then tiptoes just a little, placing a soft kiss on Baekhyun's chin. "You won't regret a thing."

"I think I'm going to regret this," Sehun mumbles now, as Jongdae digs through the paper bag with a huge grin on his lips. His lips are turned down in a frown, but Kyungsoo can see a hint of amusement and interest in the way Sehun cocks his eyebrow and tilts his head, eyes following the movement of Jongdae's hands. "This is, like, a test of friendship or something."

"Hey, we're still friends, right?" Chanyeol retorts and Sehun's expression quickly changes, the bridge of his nose wrinkling as he turns to look at Chanyeol over his shoulder. Chanyeol leans back against the wall, puffing up his cheeks, and Sehun squirms just before Jongdae holds up his drink in front of him — a light brown liquid that's darker towards the bottom and is lined with red syrup on top.

Kyungsoo catches the straw of his drink between his lips and starts sipping in an attempt to keep himself from grinning. Chanyeol pushes himself off the wall and leans closer, while Baekhyun lets out a low _hah_ before Soohyun stars squeezing his cheeks. He can feel laughter simmering at the pit of his stomach as Sehun carefully draws the drink closer to him, assessing, reading the customization panel like he's double-checking answers to a practice exam for _Sooneung_. He can hear the music sequence for Jeopardy in his head, and Zitao might probably be thinking of the same thing, tapping his foot to the beat, and Sehun draws a finger along the panel one last time before taking a deep breath, shoulders rising sharply before falling in a gradual manner.

"You... got everything right, hyung," Sehun says, eyes wide, and he looks up at Jongdae as he continues, "I can't believe it."

Jongdae exhales loudly, a corner of his lips quirking up as he thanks Sehun in a low, almost inaudible mumble. Sehun indulges him in a conversation about how the drink came to be, how he discovered that coffee jelly is the secret ingredient that brings out the Tazo tea's best flavor, and Jongdae nods slowly, thoughtfully, like he's learning something new about media placements or strategies and the like. Halfway through the scene unfolding in front of them, Chanyeol steals Soohyun from Baekhyun, and Baekhyun wraps his arms around Kyungsoo's waist, pulling Kyungsoo to the side as he sticks his tongue out at Chanyeol.

Chanyeol snickers and stares for a while, mouthing, _finally?_. Kyungsoo gives him a close-lipped smile in response.

"This is like one of those telenovelas," Baekhyun begins, whispering as he continues, "Where the girl finally gives the guy a chance and goes out with him. And she finds out he isn't so bad."

Kyungsoo feels a funny kind of shiver running down his spine when he feels the heat of Baekhyun's breath on his skin. They've done this before, in the comfort of Baekhyun's house, but out here, with their friends snatching glances at them and doing a double-take, wearing funny smiles, Kyungsoo feels his stomach lurching again, pulling him forward, then back into Baekhyun's waiting arms. Baekhyun's lips are too close, barely a centimeter away, and if Kyungsoo leans back, he'll feel the warm press of Baekhyun's mouth on his skin, and he won't regret anything but having to live with the feeling of his abdomen coiling and asking Baekhyun to _do something about it._

He tilts his head back, and he doesn't fight the way the corners of his lips tug up completely on instinct at the first brush of Baekhyun's lips on his skin. "Except this is Sehun trusting Jongdae not to screw up his tea order the next time he needs someone to pick up his favorite drink at Starbucks," Kyungsoo finally says.

From the corner of his eye, he can see Chanyeol staring, and a corner of Chanyeol's mouth quirks up when their eyes meet. Soohyun lets out a soft gurgle as she takes Chanyeol's cheeks in her hands. Kyungsoo knows Soohyun well enough by now, and he knows that it will take a few good minutes to vie for Chanyeol's attention in the face of Byun Soohyun, so he raises his eyebrows just a little before Soohyun starts pressing down on Chanyeol's cheeks. Baekhyun only laughs lightly at the sight, arms tightening around Kyungsoo's waist, and Kyungsoo allows himself a moment of respite in the warmth of Baekhyun's embrace.

"Cha... nana?" Soohyun says after a while, bottom lip jutted out as she looks up at Chanyeol with wide eyes, and Chanyeol's eyes light up with a fire Kyungsoo hasn't seen in a while. He feels the light pinch Baekhyun leaves on his skin before pulling both of them closer to Soohyun, their steps stuttered and awkward in this perfect fit, and they watch as Chanyeol nuzzles Soohyun's nose as Soohyun repeats, louder than before, "Chanana! Chanana!"

☀

"And I finally manage to catch you in your apartment."

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes as he steps to his side, letting Joonmyun in his house. It _has_ indeed been a while since he's last spent this much time in his own apartment, Baekhyun's home being a bit too alluring with its perpetually packed fridge and a little girl always seeking his attention, but the company of silence has never failed to set his nerves at ease. "I was kinda busy," he admits, and Joonmyun only rolls his eyes at him, mouthing, _duh_ as he takes a seat on the couch.

"So I got a call from Google—"

"I hate your sentences that start with that."

"—and," Joonmyun pauses, wiggling a finger in front of Kyungsoo. "They kind of asked me how you were as an employee."

If Kyungsoo were to use three adjectives to describe himself back when he was still in media, they would be _workaholic, workaholic,_ and _workaholic._ There was always something to be accomplished, clients to be serviced and to submit themselves to, deliverables to be churned out faster than he could say the word _media_. He can't say he didn't enjoy the rush, the feeling of being needed and earning the company a good name, but his health definitely didn't enjoy it and almost gave up on him three years into the job. He barely had time for himself and for other people, and Seungsoo had to check on him every other day to see if he was still eating or breathing, at the very least.

"Did you tell them I loved ordering people around?" he asks now, laughing a little as Joonmyun frowns at him. Joonmyun is good with words but never honest speech; it's a shortcoming that he has managed to turn into something good, but only when dealing with clients. "Or that my being a perfectionist has gotten me into trouble too many times?"

Joonmyun slaps him on the arm. "I told them you were so dedicated to your job that you've made a home out of your office."

 _Close enough,_ Kyungsoo thinks, and shakes his head as Joonmyun slaps him even harder. "What? I couldn't tell them that you sold your soul to the devil to become this media overlord—"

"—who churned out media plans, both for TV and digital, at the speed of light?" Kyungsoo continues, and Joonmyun snorts through his nose, eyes widening when he realizes what he has just done.

The laughter subsides a few minutes after, their heads thrown back into the head rest. Kyungsoo's breathing has evened out, but Joonmyun's still laughing lightly, seconds from each other, shaking his head. He can feel Joonmyun drumming his fingers on the couch just lightly, slowly picking up pace, until Joonmyun turns to his side.

"I also told them that you know which battles to choose and which to save for another day," Joonmyun says after a while. "And that you're an asshole for picking the right time to tender your resignation."

"While you were ass drunk?" Kyungsoo teases. Joonmyun pinches him in his side.

"When you've already used up all your resources and given everything you could for the company's welfare."

Kyungsoo sits up, studying Joonmyun's features — the even skin between his eyebrows, no longer donned with wrinkles, his eyes, relaxed and void of fatigue, the small smile pulling up the corners of his mouth. The last time he'd seen this was during Kyungsoo's exit interview, their last work-related conversation in Joonmyun's office. They'd exchanged hugs then, and then a handshake, and Joonmyun whispered before Kyungsoo closed the door behind him, _Congratulations for finally taking this leap of faith._

"You really called me an asshole in front of Google?" Kyungsoo asks, shaking his head as he inches away from Joonmyun, anticipating a slap on the arm. "Okay, I'm pretty sure I won't get the job anymore."

"Sort of," Joonmyun replies, the smile on his lips blooming into a grin, and soon Joonmyun is hitting him with a pillow, each shot to the arm heavier than before. Joonmyun cackles through his nose, laughs, bright, shrill, and completely unlike what he's used to, and Kyungsoo simply indulges, soaking in Joonmyun's childlike vigor, the youth that had once left him in favor of responsibilities and duties. He fights back when Joonmyun releases the pillow from his grasp, completely defenseless, and tickles Joonmyun until Joonmyun has beads of tears at the corners of his eyes.

"I hate you," Kyungsoo grumbles once they've caught their breaths again, his bangs falling over his eyes as Joonmyun hits him on the face one last time.

"Hate me when you're already in Google," Joonmyun replies, and the rest of his statement is drowned out by cries for help as Kyungsoo throws a pillow at him, then another, and another, letting the grin tugging his cheeks further up take control of his muscles and every part of his body.

☀

The sweet scent of Christmas is what Kyungsoo wakes up to on Christmas morning. There's an empty space on the bed, sheets rumpled from where Baekhyun had been, and he scans the room for any sign of Baekhyun. "Aren't you up early?" Kyungsoo says, voice faint and still heavy with sleep, and Baekhyun quickly looks over his shoulder, dropping the hand supporting Soohyun's back as she finds her balance, now on two feet.

"This little girl kept me up," Baekhyun says, smiling a little as he rubs one of his eyes.

Soohyun hiccups, then waves her hands in the air as she chuckles. Kyungsoo pushes himself off the bed and gets on his feet, walking over to where the two are. Funny how, only months ago, Kyungsoo had fallen asleep on the same bed and woken up to Baekhyun screeching, _"She's standing!"_ , but now she barely needs any support to get on her feet and hold her hands up, grabbing at the air. She's been crawling faster, too, and sometimes Baekhyun would wake Kyungsoo up by making Soohyun crawl on his chest, tapping his shoulders lightly.

Those are the mornings he likes best, the mornings that make him favor staying in Baekhyun's place instead of holing himself up in his apartment, working on requirements for his employment at Google.

"She hasn't been crying, I hope?" he asks now, steps still slow as he steadies his aching knees. "No difficulty in breathing?"

Baekhyun stretches his arms behind his back and yawns. "Hmm, not much. Around 2 a.m., I think? But she quieted down soon after."

Soohyun's knees give away a little as she loses balance, palms pressing down on her thighs, but she quickly recovers, straightening up in seconds. Baekhyun lets out a small sound of surprise, the hint of worry dissolving in chuckles, but his laughter is soon replaced by a gasp as Soohyun, slowly but surely, takes small steps forward — one foot, then another, and another — in Kyungsoo's direction.

Kyungsoo slowly drops to his knees, eyes wide in shock, and he looks at Baekhyun briefly before holding out his arms. "Soohyunnie?"

The first few steps are wobbly, so Kyungsoo moves closer, about a foot away from Soohyun. Her eyebrows are furrowed in concentration, much like when Baekhyun is presented with a challenge or when he's working really long hours, and there's a small smile on her lips as she trudges forward. Just behind Soohyun, he sees Baekhyun with his hands clasped on his mouth, hears the soft sounds of laughter and amusement that escape Baekhyun's lips. Soohyun stumbles forward somewhere towards the end, and Kyungsoo catches her, holding her by the waist and hoisting her until she can bury her face in Kyungsoo's cheek.

"I didn't imagine that, right?" Baekhyun asks, lips parted in a grin. "She really walked, right? You didn't pick her up and she probably didn't just levitate or something—"

"That would've been nice," Kyungsoo teases, and Baekhyun pouts at him in response. "Yeah, yeah, you weren't imagining things—"

Baekhyun erupts into a squeal of delight and crawls over to where they are, taking Soohyun's cheeks in his hands and nuzzling her nose. She lets out a strangled gurgle at first but, soon, she's giggling, small bursts of amusement muffled as Baekhyun squeezes her cheeks lightly and places a soft kiss on her forehead. Her eyes disappear into slits as she laughs and claps her hands and Baekhyun takes her in his arms, raises her in the air, and twirls her around while screaming, "My little Soohyunnie can walk already!"

 _Merry Christmas,_ Kyungsoo thinks to himself, and leans back, holding himself up with his hands. He watches as Baekhyun dances with her, singing way too loud at such an early hour, watches as the sunlight filters through the curtains and makes Baekhyun shiver a little, stuttering mid-song but quickly regaining his ground. He feels his stomach turning, lurching in several directions, and simply laughs in tandem with Soohyun's own, even as Baekhyun stops to kneel in front of him and hold Soohyun in front of him.

Soohyun makes tiny popping sounds as she presses her lips together then parts them, cackling when she ends. "Go on, kiss papa," Baekhyun says, grinning, and Kyungsoo reaches out, running his fingers along the curve of Baekhyun's face, pulling Baekhyun close until their lips find a perfect fit.

Soohyun's laughter on his cheek is warm, tickles his skin. "And Merry Christmas to you, too," Baekhyun whispers, and Kyungsoo swallows them all in the open press of his mouth. Baekhyun's lips are as warm as his smile.

☀

"Happy birthday, Soohyunnie!"

Joonmyun's decked in at least four layers of clothing, and half of Jongin's face is wrapped with a scarf when they arrive. It's a miracle Baekhyun understands their greeting through the material, but Baekhyun seems to understand a lot of languages, anyway — Jongdae's indiscernible snorts and choking sounds when he tries not to laugh at Sehun's stories, Soohyun's gurgles when she's pointing at too many things at the same time, Kyungsoo worrying his bottom lip when he's stuck between saying yes and no. Soohyun stretches out her arms, reaching for Joonmyun, and Baekhyun takes a few steps forward until Joonmyun backs away, eyes wide despite the smile on his lips.

Jongin steps in and nuzzles her nose, then takes her from Baekhyun's arms. He laughs when she looks up at him, giggling, eyes shaped like crescents.

"Isn't she too young to get her heart broken?" Joonmyun asks after a while, once he's placed their gift in the living room and touching Soohyun doesn't make him jump anymore. He walks over, nuzzling Soohyun's nose, and Soohyun squeals a little.

Kyungsoo snorts, but pinches Soohyun's cheek, anyway. "Isn't Jongin too old to get his nose broken because of that?"

Chanyeol comes in with the party poppers too late, but redeems himself by forcibly making everyone wear party hats, instead. Everybody's done eating, save for Joonmyun and Jongin who have just arrived from weekend work, and Kyungsoo gathers everyone in the living room for the candle-blowing. The room rumbles with all kinds of sounds, a dissonance that Kyungsoo doesn't mind getting accustomed to, and Baekhyun shoots him a look, as if asking, _is this okay?_

Kyungsoo looks around him — at his friends in the living room, deep in conversation and sharing laughter, at Jongdae who still has a head band when he steps into the living room with Soohyun's cake in his hands, at Soohyun who is craning her neck to place a kiss on Jongin's chin, and at Baekhyun who has one hand secure on Soohyun's back, the other one outstretched in Kyungsoo's direction. _I said, are you okay with this?_

Jongin giggles just before Soohyun pulls away, and Kyungsoo reaches for Baekhyun's hand. _I'm more than okay with this._

"Okay, okay, make way for the princess now," Baekhyun announces, bending his knees as he helps Soohyun stand on her feet on the floor. Joonmyun claps his hands in excitement, and Zitao whips his phone out, ready to take pictures of the scene. Soohyun is frowning, though, albeit only lightly, her hand cold as she holds onto Kyungsoo's leg.

"What's wrong, honey?" Baekhyun asks. He looks at the group, scanning their faces, then turns back to Soohyun. "Is Jongdae-oppa's face still scary? Do you want me to make him leave?"

Kyungsoo laughs a little and crouches. He feels Soohyun flinch, and he pats her head before placing a kiss on her nose. "I think she's just not used to things looking so big," he explains, rubbing Soohyun's back until he feels her muscles relaxing. "From here, below."

Baekhyun blinks a few times, tilting his head in question, until his features light up, the corners of his lips pulling up to reveal pink gums, a toothy grin. "Together, then?" he says, sticking out his pinky in Soohyun's direction, and Kyungsoo follows suit. Soohyun's gaze darts from Baekhyun to Kyungsoo, then down to their fingers, and she takes them both, wrapping her tiny, cold hands around them until all of her fingers curl around theirs.

There's a gentle squeeze before they slowly get up, knees still bent a little, and Kyungsoo turns to Baekhyun. "Together. Like a family."

Soohyun leads the way in tiny, stuttered steps, and Kyungsoo feels his heart race in his chest everytime Soohyun looks as if she'll fall on her face any second. He catches the sight of Baekhyun's smile just beyond Soohyun's figure, sees the wonder in Baekhyun's eyes, and he takes a deep breath, willing all of his worries away. One small step, one step closer to the cake and to Soohyun blowing the candle, one step closer to hearing Baekhyun's bright laughter when Soohyun puffs her cheeks out as she tries to put out the flame.

One big leap of faith that might as well be the last flight of stairs to where Kyungsoo is supposed to be — away from the past and living in the present, in the company of good friends, a little girl who has made him believe in happily-ever-afters again, and the not-so-little boy who has changed his life forever.

Kyungsoo moves one foot forward in tandem with Soohyun and Baekhyun's own. He doesn't look back.

☄

"That's the last of it, right?"

Kyungsoo counts the bags in the trunk one last time, making sure that they haven't left anything back in his apartment. He's never had a problem with being certain that he has everything he needs when traveling, but Baekhyun forgets where he puts things more often than he remembers where they put them. His memory has always been good for other things, but never trust Baekhyun to have any recollection of how a ballpen has found its way to his table, the front pocket of his coat, or in his coffee cup instead of its container. "I think I left my stuffed toy," Kyungsoo calls out, and Baekhyun scowls at him before checking Soohyun in the backseat.

"I took five days off for our _Seollal_ trip," Baekhyun grumbles. "You are not teasing me about going to bed with my plushie."

"Your plushie _collection,_ you mean," Kyungsoo corrects. He sticks his tongue out at Baekhyun as he leans to his side, narrowly missing the slap Baekhyun aims at his arm.

His phone sounds off, the sound amplified in the enclosed space of the car. It's from Lu Han, and Kyungsoo cocks an eyebrow before answering it, drawing his phone closer to his ear. "Good morning, Lu Han," he greets, voice steady even as he balls his hands into fists, and there's static on the other end of the line for a while. Baekhyun looks at him, eyes wide as he waits for more words, and then there's familiar laughter on the other end of the line and three words Kyungsoo never thought he'd ever hear.

"Congratulations, Do Kyungsoo," Lu Han begins. Another string of laughter, a long pause, and Kyungsoo bites the inside of his cheek to keep himself from grinning.

"Welcome to Google."


End file.
